Why is it called a paternity test

and not a pop quiz?

πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
I came across this equation on my chemistry test - C2H6O...

Looks like I have an alcohol problem.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
I passed my forklift test today. I did very well.

My carer says I should be able to try the spoon tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
A guy went to class on a test day dressed in a feline outfit; while his prof was blabbing about academic integrity the guy said ..

I'm not lion and won't be a cheetah

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/actuaryvsp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
I think I took the wrong test.

This Briggs Stratton personality thing says I’m a hedge trimmer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
If you want to test how well vehicles perform during automobile crashes...

You have to be a real dummy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
I always cheated on my psychology tests.

I don't know what that says about me.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
A frog decided to do a genealogy test

Turns out he’s a tad polish

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohDaddyNo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Why do anarchists always fail geometry tests?

They have no rulers

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Friend wrote it on the back of her test
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ADremurr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My son took his driving test yesterday and got 8/10.

The other two managed to jump clear at the last moment.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
My doctor asked if I wanted to test a coronavirus vaccine.

I figure it's worth a shot.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kurtvan
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 349
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
After failing the test on Pythagoras' Theorem, I wanted to die.

So Hypotenuse.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Power_Burger
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Why do we test seat belts with crash test dummies ?

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
2 cats in New York test pawsitive for Coronavirus
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I asked my son why he got a 75 on his math test

β€œBecause” he replied β€œmy score was in retrograde”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
If I had 50 cents for every time I failed a math test,

I'd have $7.20 right now.

πŸ‘︎ 598
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustMy2Coppers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Got the dog an electric collar today to train him, but had to test it on myself first.

The results were shocking.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
why couldn't the superhero pass a written test?

...he was always writing wrongs!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
I don’t test drive cars because of the β€œyou break it you bought it.” Policy.

I mean braking is the only way to stop the vehicle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I jokingly asked my mailman if they test all packages for coronavirus, but he didn't laugh, and now I'm not receiving any letters.

I think my delivery may be off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
I was terrified by the results of my blood test

But my doctor just said B positive

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rmlrmlchess
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
What kind of certification does a polygraph test examiner need?

A lie-cense.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruh-Nanaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
I told my son if he passed his trigonometry test I'd help him get a car

Looks like i have to cosine for a new car today!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirEades
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
My chemistry teacher covered me head to toe in sodium chloride after I flunked my test...

I've never been more ensalted in my life

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
A Wife took a DNA test for her kid /r/Jokes/comments/fc8r6d/…
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eawesome00
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
have you heard about the new proposed school marking scheme where they divide the marks of a test out equally

They are calling it marks-ism

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supercombo369
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
We took a test to find out what cheese we were and she does it dirty like this.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZarTheSquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Hospital told me my blood test results had been 'lost'

I knew I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Acula

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
Why was the cheese nervous about the taste test?

Because he knew he’d be grated.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_Yohanan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
My brother took a test to see his animal spirit...

He couldn't bear the results

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bro-mine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
I passed a drug test today...

And I didn't even study for it!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krombopulos137
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
How did the sleeper rank so highly on the test?

He was in the nighty-night percentile.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCBananacheese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
CJ's teacher wondered why he didn't perform very well in the PEs test.

After all, all he had to do was to follow the damn train!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gustavo6046
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My NAD test results came back

and it turns out I'm dyslexic

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Local zoo stopped giving tests

Too many Cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I've just done a pregnancy test!

Ooh, were the questions hard?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nihilman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
I failed a test today because I was thinking of this
πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Diamondsttv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend told me this: What did the pet frog say after you received an F on your test paper?

Rippit

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TimStaotic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Hulk Hogan took a DNA test!

He found out no one is actually his brother.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mywordvomit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a skeleton who’s passed their authenticity test?

Bonafide

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterLB
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Your test results are pawsitive
πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hardik_katyal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Took a DNA test.

I can’t post on this subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bruhmoment0215
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My son got into a fist fight with his music teacher because he wrongly answered a question in his test. When he told me the story I just could say one thing...

"Son, violins is not the answer".

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dansowaru
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My Russian friend took a test on communism...

Needless to say, he got full Marx.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SantaCluas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the advantage to being a test tube baby?

You get a womb with a view.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jalfredproofrock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?

Its tests the ears of its corn-testants

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I was doing a Geography test before dinner...

I was China focus, but was too Hungary.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lon3ly4sian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was really scared about having my blood test taken until my brother told me to

"Be positive"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tushxr_nair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the murderer do on his math test?

He killed it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blamera0000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months

They had a great piss-cal year

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthMaster7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone in my class is stressing out on that test about soup, but not me

i have stock knowledge

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
So my blood test came back positive.

Turns out I’m full of the stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ClockworkDoorknob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Received the results back for my blood test, and I was pleased.

Top marks: A+.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I made the mistake of drinking the liquid from a scientist’s test tube.

It was a vial substance.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I just took a DNA test and it turns out I'm related to Egyptian royalty

we have a Tutankhamun.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badasscdub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I took a blood test yesterday.

Got an A+.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nachodotcom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is stressed over her upcoming geometry test

I told her not to run herself in circles over it

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UkeBard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend has an addiction to flour and is in recovery. To test him, I brought him to a Panera company...

I was wrong in thinking he was clean and no longer would knead it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my students they would have a test tomorrow.

Student: How big is the test?

Me: eight and a half by eleven

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JTxyz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I have to cram for my big rig driving school test tomorrow...

It's my semi-final.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the asian parents tell their child when they failed their test?

β€œYour an β€˜A’sian not a β€˜D’sian

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tec_King
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to quit my last job, all I did was test soft drinks

It was just soda grading

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scamperillium
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Your mom had to get a tuberculosis test for work. I guess we'll finally have an answer to the age-old question . . .

TB, or not TB?

πŸ‘︎ 434
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Lie detector tests can be very

unrelieable

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kwahn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid came home in tears after one too many True/False tests...

something needs to be done about boolean in schools

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I was stressed about my math test

I stayed up and thought about my problems

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCanceryboi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't test stairs...

I think they're up to something

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kortbug2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If I had a dollar every time I failed a matt test, I'd have $6.39.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snotburger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The maths teacher made an outrageous announcement that questions from all the branches of mathematics will be on the test

Now I'm fine with arithmetic and algebra but geometry is where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoor_veer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad joined the pacer test at my high school

He ran father than all the other kids

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeARx21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to the doctor for a blood test

A+

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/suckmybaconplease
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Blood test
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yakdehi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Just got the test shot from our wedding photographer, but we accidentally dropped them into the mixing bowl filled with sugar, milk, and Jell-O mix.

Wife to be can't believe we actually did that, but I told her the proof is in the pudding.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackOfTrading
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
That test on wind was so easy

It was a breeze.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/koravel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Lab test!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the firefly fail his test?

He wasn’t very bright

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skiinghobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The doctor did a culture test on me and it came back positive!

For shingles :/

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colorado87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the kids in the English class use to take their test?

They used a metaphor because it is a literary device.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
He wants a DNA test but deep down he NOSE thats his chid..
πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BabaDoner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I didn't know test tubes were this colourful.
πŸ‘︎ 475
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dz959
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A father buys a lie detector that slaps people when they lie. He decided to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son replies β€œI just did some homework.” The robot slaps the son. The son then says β€œOkay, okay. I was at my friends house watching a movie.”

Dad asks β€œWhat movie were you watching?” The son replies β€œFinding Nemo”. The robot slaps the son. He then sais β€œOkay, okay. We were watching porn”

Dad said β€œWhat?! At your age I didn’t know what porn was.” The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says β€œWow. He certainly is your son.”

The robot slaps the mother.

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gavralex04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I came across this equation on my chemistry test - C2H6O...

Looks like I got a problem with alcohol.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 343
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 267
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.