Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
Me: I am terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: [Screams in horror]
Therapist: Oh, I see
Me: [Screams intensify]
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?
Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...
I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon
I didn’t expect it to be a period piece
Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes
HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!
I've caught the car owner virus !
Any random man: Arya Stark?
Arya: Yes I am.
Sansa: Yes I am.
Robb: Yes I am.
Bran: Yes I am.
Rickon: Yes I am.
Ned: Yes I am.
Jon Snow: No, I'm not
I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor
...and I shout at him, “HEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, “teeth.”
🤦♂️
Does this make him the dad now?
Do you accept random Facebook requests?
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.
I said: "There's the door."
Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"
I hate when random people I don't know complain,
"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!
Donald : Wrong!
Donald : Im peach
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.
It was a difficult habit to kick.
You can’t just eat random things, Becky
This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.
I have a random question, "what is entropy?"
I don't like drinking a random, unattended beverage at a restaurant.
It's just not my cup of tea.
I finally found out what causes random out of place boners
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead.
This random guy mooned me today.
Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser
Just to take the edge off
I told my doctor that I was scared of random letters.
He said, "You are?" and I screamed.
He replied, "Oh, I see" and I screamed harder.
Mix it up a little. Text a random number the following message:
The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?
A walking treasure chest full of gold grabs a random man and hands him over to a polite redditor. Redditor says:
Thank you for the stranger kind gold
Random stranger cold blooded floored me
My girlfriend and I were walking with her carrying a backpack and I was holding a bag of ice on each shoulder.
Random woman walks by and just looks at both of us and goes "she's really giving you the cold shoulder"
I was just floored. I never saw her before and I've never seen her again but I really hope things are working out for her.
The Random Dad Made This For Me
Me: “I’m not very hungry. I just want something easy.”
Server: “...Maybe the chicken strips for $6?”
Me: “Maybe it does, but that doesn’t help me with my hunger.”
Random Dad across the restaurant: “GOOD ONE!”
Credit to @TravisTeeh on Twitter
My dog jumped into some freezing water. A random German tourist jumped in to save him. He told me "Here is ze dog. keep him varm and he vill be just fine". I asked if he was a vet.
"Vet? I'm fucking soaked!"
Random story, this guy ran up and pulled my eye lashes right out.
I'm terrified of random letters
me: i'm terrified of random letters
therapist: you are?
me: [screams]
therapist: oh i see
me: [screaming intensifies]
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: you are?
Me: [Screams]
Therapist: I see
Terrified of Random Letters
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: Are you?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances....
I said "There's the door"
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice it when you replace random words with musical instruments.
Me: I am terrified of random letters
Therapist: you are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: I see.
Me: [screams again]
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