Random And Merry(RAM)
πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savings_Cattle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...

It’s very noteworthy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon

I didn’t expect it to be a period piece

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes

Occupiing this sub

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VexuBenny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Any random man: Arya Stark?

Arya: Yes I am. Sansa: Yes I am. Robb: Yes I am. Bran: Yes I am. Rickon: Yes I am. Ned: Yes I am. Jon Snow: No, I'm not

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egxsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!

I've caught the car owner virus !

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barderz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
Do you accept random Facebook requests?

Asking for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
I'm terrified of random letters

me: i'm terrified of random letters

therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor

...and I shout at him, β€œHEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, β€œteeth.” πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ Does this make him the dad now?

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"

Forseer: "how else?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xianmuslim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.

I said: "There's the door."

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I hate when random people I don't know complain,

"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuporsuper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!

Donald : Wrong!

Donald : Im peach

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quints98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun Generator - Generate Random Cringe-Worthy Puns generatorfun.com/pun-gene…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...

SURPRISE!

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.

It was a difficult habit to kick.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-posing_Jesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Im sad because someone broken the elevator by rearranging all the buttons in a random way

Is just wrong on so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarka_d0_sera
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a random question, "what is entropy?"
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenOfChem
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't like drinking a random, unattended beverage at a restaurant.

It's just not my cup of tea.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cobblecloth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You can’t just eat random things, Becky
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illegalBacon83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
For the Random Encounters fans...
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anathex_Adv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Livmativ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead.

He calls it Nyetflix

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conmiz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
This random guy mooned me today.

Man, what an asshole!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I finally found out what causes random out of place boners

Subliminal thots

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bob666bender
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my doctor that I was scared of random letters.

He said, "You are?" and I screamed.

He replied, "Oh, I see" and I screamed harder.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GibHib
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice it when you replace random words with musical instruments.
πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreninjaTube
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Mix it up a little. Text a random number the following message:

The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Random story, this guy ran up and pulled my eye lashes right out.

I lashed out at him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherHairyApe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Handman47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
The Random Dad Made This For Me

Me: β€œI’m not very hungry. I just want something easy.”

Server: β€œ...Maybe the chicken strips for $6?”

Me: β€œMaybe it does, but that doesn’t help me with my hunger.”

Random Dad across the restaurant: β€œGOOD ONE!”

Credit to @TravisTeeh on Twitter

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoubieLou88
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a random Donkey Kong poster today

I DK what it meant

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fred-the-Kanga
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog jumped into some freezing water. A random German tourist jumped in to save him. He told me "Here is ze dog. keep him varm and he vill be just fine". I asked if he was a vet.

"Vet? I'm fucking soaked!"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nakedurlrobot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Random people jerking off to you is really a dick move
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adityakr082
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I just randomly stumbled across a place that sells random little things in the middle of nowhere

It was quite bazaar

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBritishSnob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Random stranger cold blooded floored me

My girlfriend and I were walking with her carrying a backpack and I was holding a bag of ice on each shoulder.

Random woman walks by and just looks at both of us and goes "she's really giving you the cold shoulder"

I was just floored. I never saw her before and I've never seen her again but I really hope things are working out for her.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Just random fun drawing I made, thought you guys may enjoy!
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banags
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps sending me random stickers in iMessage. She needs to stop Quidding around.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What food goes best with an arcade game in which you hit toy moles, which appear at random, back into their holes?

Guac-a-mole

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostAbouts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
[from a chat] friend: really random side note: my sleeve smells like jam and idk why

Me: were you having a jamboree earlier?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reeper147
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
You are a super villain who can scream supersonic classical music, you name is Bach the Fuck up. Would you rather rob banks for a living, or would you rather cause random chaos in the streets? reddit.com/r/WouldYouRath…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tater218
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m walking into a grocery store, and I see a random dad leaving as I enter. He hands me his empty cart and says to me,

β€œLeft some gas in it for you”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MildBanana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My favorite teacher had the most random stuff in her class

Miss Alanious

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend hung up random stuff on the walls. I noticed this: Coca Korra imgur.com/FATuzV0
πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bibbleskit
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Probably 1/5 people make up random statistics.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/web8564j
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Random terrible puns I came up with using (some of) the 50 States
  • Alaska girl out when the times right
  • Arkansas right? (Ar Can Saw right?)
  • I’ll California
  • He’s gonna Florida car!
  • Iowa lot of money right now
  • He was in a state of Missouri for the past few days
  • He’s the Maine character of the book
  • Mind Washington dishes tonight?
  • Can I get a Minnesota with my burger?
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodofWar1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
I was alone in a bar when a random voice told me I looked amazing

I asked the waiter who it was."It's the nuts," he said, "they're complimentary."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moe_Bot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My employer did random drug testing today.

I got weeded out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Whenever someone comes up to me and says, β€œRandom question for ya.”

I always reply, β€œPineapple!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skiftonoid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What does my dad and a random stranger have in common?

Everything :(

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/terrence0258
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
🚨︎ report
My daughter looked up a definition in her Random House dictionary. I said...

"Have you tried the Alphabetical Order House dictionary? It's way easier to find stuff."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agoatforavillage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Random facts lead to Dad jokes.

I told my brothers friends that men and ants were the only species who can conduct war.

One of them asked "Who made the study to find that out?"

And from behind comes "An Ant-thropologist"

πŸ‘︎ 309
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommissarCallahan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend's "classic" way of setting me up with random people...

He asks them to feel my jacket/shirt/whatever I'm wearing. He then asks if they recognise the fabric. When they respond with "no," he'll tell them:

"That's boyfriend material."

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Random Pokemon Emerald Nuzlocke Run imgur.com/sWNdKBQ
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApaceVelo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
🚨︎ report
From a random guy in a furniture store

This happened a few weeks ago. I had a little extra time at lunch one day so I decided to stop at a furniture store since we've been looking at getting a new couch.

I'm leisurely walking around the store browsing with my hands in my pockets when I see an elderly couple being shown around by the salesman. The old gentleman sees me and gets a smirk. He wobbles over too me, away from his wife and the salesman, leans in so only I can hear and, out of the blue, says:

"He who has his hands in his pockets has more on the ball than at first it would seem."

He smiles, says nothing else, and wobbles back. That put a smile on my face and had me laughing the rest of the day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Woundedduk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Does anyone remember that trend where people would lie face down in random places? I want to sketch someone doing that, but I can't remember what it was called.

I'm drawing a plank.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MSeltz
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
🚨︎ report
[x-post] random comment in /r/food includes amazing dadjoke

Imho, the father of /u/SweatingToilet joins the dadjoke Hall of Fame with this gem.

https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/3t402c/roommate_gave_me_a_cutout_from_a_magazine_and/cx31fbt

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InSearchOfGoodPun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
🚨︎ report
In a convo with a random person on the internet...

Her: "I am stuck in bed with a bum ankle."
Me: "That's disgusting! What happened to the rest of the bum?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daneelthesane
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad joked a random fellow student in my Philosophy class

So it's an Ancient Greek Philosophy class discussing the Presocratic philosophers of the sixth and fifty centuries BC and we were discussing Pythagoras.

One student was asking about the harmony of numbers in music that Pythagoras came up with and was amazed that he came up with that so long ago.

Student: "So he came up with all that way back then? Jesus Christ that's crazy!"

Me: "No this was before Christ."

Fortunately, everyone in my class appreciated it. Not enough groans though.. I'll do better next time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharmExclusive
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
🚨︎ report
A random blizzard happened in Ontario...

My dad said "Boy, I hope this snow keeps up!"

I asked why, and he said "That way it doesn't come down!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaM8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2014
🚨︎ report
So my wife gets this random phone call from Ohio

and she says to me "Do we know anybody from there?"

"I don't think so, but now that I think about it I'm surprised they weren't the first ones to legalize weed."

Drop my house shoes.

Edit: O-HIGH-O, as in get high...I can't tell if having to explain it too the internet makes it better or worse

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/landician
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report
While waiting at the gate for my plane to board, some random dad sitting next to me had this to say:

"What seat do you have? ...oh, 19-F? Well everyone will see me in 3-D."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sultan_of_Slide
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Got a random man on the street.

Walked by a man wearing a "Free Weezy" shirt. Stopped him and asked him what a weezy was and how much did they normally cost. He was not pleased

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Philly_J
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: you are?

Me: [Screams]

Therapist: I see

πŸ‘︎ 363
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Terrified of Random Letters

Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: Are you?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Namnrocinu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances....

I said "There's the door"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Me: I am terrified of random letters

Therapist: you are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: I see.

Me: [screams again]

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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