A list of puns related to "Number"

This is the new number pun.

Number Pun

So my friend said he had a test with 17 questions on it. I responded, that's a *odd* number of questions on a test.

To the person that invented the number 0

Thanks for nothing.

Did you hear about the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.

The odds were against me.

My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I canβt tell if heβs drawing snakes, mountains, teepeeβs, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:

Clockβs a doodled doo.

What did number 0 say to number 8? (Howie & Aidan robot discourses, iaio #20 by how.how comics)

What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?

Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.

Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.

Iβve never been more proud.

My school going son throws a tantrum everytime I bring up maths and numbers in ordinary conversations

Well, what can i say, kids his age are irrational

Looking at a Terminix truck, the IX at the end are the roman numerals for the number nine...

Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. βWeβll do you one better than terminate, weβll termiNINEβ.

What is the number one cause of divorce in America?

Marriage.

I challenged number 1 to a fight

He bought he friends 3,5,7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

Why canβt the number 5 perform sexually when number 1 is on top?

He is too tense.

Did you hear about the mathematician that hated negative numbers?

Heβd stop at nothing to stay away from them

One of my kids ate a magnetic number off the fridge; it was the one between 1 and 3.

The doc said they would be ok βThis two shall pass.β

So Poland's dealing with a surge in the number of the novel coronavirus cases. Can we say that the Winged HusSARS arrived?

My son asked me whether Ο was a rational number, even though he knows i didnt go to school...

I mean that's just not rational.

When I get texts from numbers I don't know.

https://imgur.com/a/x1d2zdx

For the person who invented the number 0

Thanks for nothing.

(If this has been done, im very sorry.)

What is a doctor's favorite bingo number?

Benign

The boomerang is Australia's number one export.

And import.

Never pick a fight with numbers

They have a lot of fours.

Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

I called the Incontinence Hotline number.

The voice said, "Please hold."

Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..

.. Dying to Czech it out

What was the number one drug prescribed by psychiatrists in 2020?

Enemas, people needed to just let some shit go.

My son asked me if i could count numbers in German.

I told him 9

Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?

Hell stop at nothing to avoid them

Numbers

All the numbers had a race...

Do you who came first? The first number. He one.

What do you call the number 8 in a concert hall?

An operate!

I donβt usually make puns about dividing numbers...

But I will make one if I halve two.

I found a phone number where if you call it, it gives you a famous movie line

So call this number, and get your free quote today

Why arenβt there lowercase numbers?

Because they are the language of capitalism.

Why do teenage girls only hang around in groups of odd numbers?

Because OMG they canβt even.

I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers

So far all I have is 9.

What's the dumbest number?

One, because one never knows

People say "age" is a number

when clearly, it's a word.

I gave my number to a pirate once.

I'm getting sick of all the booty calls

I can list every single number that's in Pi.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0.

The number-one-selling brand of tea among US police officers is called βTallyβ

Police brew Tally tea.

Linkin Park have a song called Numb, but to me their In The End is Number song

It starts with 1

Where do numbers from 50-59 go after their death?

57

I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!!

What are the odds?

βDue to the rising number of dolphin attacks, weβve had to outlaw any overnight camping on the beach.β

βWe hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.β

Why do teenage girls always walk in odd numbers

Cuz they like canβt even

Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel number.

In the early 1900's, a number of protests arose because of employment of children in coal mines.

I suppose you could say the owners had a minor minor miner problem.

It really annoys me when people say that age is just a number

Age is clearly a word

What number can fly like a bird?

Two can!!!

Did you hear about the mathematician whoβs afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned ?

It's two gross

Last night I got beat up by the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.

I guess the odds were against me.

What number is playing sports?

Ten is πΎπΎπΎ

My math teacher walked into the classroom, wrote a tiny number "7" on the board, then walked back out again.

I thought, that's a little odd.

While most puns make me feel numb, mathematics puns make me feel number.

I can't believe the sheer number of people who do not understand erectile dysfunction...

It's not that hard!

The number "eight" starts with an E.

But if you spelled it with an A, it'd be aight.

An old guy was confused and called me with the wrong number, so as a joke I gave him my brother's number. He called my brother, who ingeniously played the joke back and gave him my number. After the old guy dialed me again, my wife asked, "Who called?"

A boomer rang.

If number 666 is evil,

then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.

How do you make the number one disappear?

You just add a G, and itβs gone.

All the other numbers didn't like the first integer lower than 0.

He was a negative one.

I like to leave the volume on prime numbers only.

Itβs pretty odd, I know.

Puns leave me numb. Mathematical puns leave me number.

Choose any number between 2 and 8. Multiply by 4, and then add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.

Dark, wasnβt it?

Of 1000 and 69, which the naughtier number?

1000, because it has 3 zeros.

Me (at the numbers store): βCan I please purchase all of these averages?β

Clerk: βSure, buy all meansβ

Admittedly a median joke, at best.

I feel sorry for New Yorkers right now because of the high number of Corona infected people. Hopefully they're the last to get it. Unfortunate for China though

They got it right off the bat

Iβve actually got quite a number of math jokes.

I can count them all if youβd like.

I don't understand all this hate towards non traditional number systems

I for 1, love Roman numerals.

I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.

Her job performance was de-creasing.

Congress just passed legislation limiting the number of hats an individual may own.

They put a cap on it.

Today I learned Tessarakontadyochilexintaphobia is the fear of the number 42069.

Nice.

Why couldn't the number 3 cross the border?

No trespassing

Pulled this one on a wrong number today.

Wrong number lady: "I'm looking for a, uh, Victor?"

Me: "Nice, wha'd I win?"

WNL: (audible confusion and realization)

I know it's bad but I felt like my dad today.

I hate it when people say age is only a number

Age is clearly a word

I asked a german girl for her phone number. She only gave me one digit though.

9

Man: Can I have a number 4 with cheese?

Librarian: Sir, This is a library

Man: Oh, right. Sorry.

Man: (whispers)Can I please have a number 4 with cheese?

Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.

Dark, isnβt it?

I'm tired of hearing people say that age is just a number

When it's clearly a word!

I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9

The odds were against me

What even number becomes odd when you remove a letter?

SIX! If you remove the S you are left with IX, which is nine in roman numerals

The Loneliest Number

My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she is up to now.

I finally managed to genetically combine the number 6 with the letter S.

My experiment was a complete six-s!

When they crunch the numbers, shouldnβt they get smaller?

Someone told me my favorite number was 3

I replied with βNot evenβ

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers ?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

Did you hear about the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?

Heβll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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