It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
Obi-Wan is tired of teaching Luke dinner table manners
Luke: eating with hands, spilling dinner everywhere
Obi-Wan: Use the fork, Luke
Dad: *Watching cop show with daughter late at night* Dad: Time for bed kiddo! Daughter: I’m not tired yet though!
Dad: Pretending to be a dispatcher Yeah, she’s resisting arrest
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
Tired!
I have great memories of my childhood. I remember my dad taking me up to the downs and putting me in a tyre and rolling me down the hill!
They were good years
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
My wife just broke up with me. She's sick and tired of my constant Zodiac puns.
It Taurus apart. I'm in Pisces typing this.
I'm tired of waiting for my PA to finish my return
It's really taxing my nerves.
I was an uber driver for a bunch of pro wrestlers, they were so tired after their show they all just stacked on top of each other in my backseat
I guess I was the pile driver
I went out to buy a car today but I got too tired.
I ended up getting a motorcycle.
How do you make water tired?
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.
But, the gun is all the way over there.
Why did bicycle go to bed early? Because it was two-tired
Why was the German pilot so tired?
He was part of the Schluftwaffe
Benedict Cumberbatch got tired of all the jokes on his name and changed it to Benedict Batch
My wife and kids told me that they're tired of hearing the same jokes
I told them that I care about the environment and thus recycle my jokes.
Where do you get tired laying down?
I'm really tired of seeing just text posts here
My butt is tired, today...
Laying on the grass...”two tired”...to move
Why are keyboards never tired?
Because they have two shifts.
I tried to rearrange my Tired Ass.
My daughter told me she was tired of my jokes
I said ‘hi tired of all my jokes, I’m dad’
Im tired of being misunderstood and I’m going to get straight to the point!
I’m drawing a line in the sand.
What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a tired out dog?
One wears a suit and the other just pants.
I always say "hi tired, I'm dad", but I got one upped tonight.
I said my goodnights but in return I got "Are you a broom?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You look sweepy"
I got so tired while climbing a tall mountain in Nepal.
I did not think I would Everest.
I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.
Why was the duck so tired?
He woke up at the quack of dawn.
I got tired of flipping the little switch on my rear view mirror to dim the headlights.
So I removed the whole mirror.
I haven’t looked back since.
What did the cow say to her tired baby?
It’s time to go to sleep it’s pasture bed time.
What kind of fan gets tired the most easily?
My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes
I texted "Oh Pun the Door"
Tired of online dating? You're not alone.
Oh, wait! Yes you are, that's why you are online dating.
Who were the most tired people in the Cold War?
I’m tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. It’s a personal preference.
I don’t vax my floors. I don’t vax my chest hair, and I certainly don’t vax my legs.
I was tired of quarantine so I decided to go out and start skateboarding.
Now I’m totally sick, bro! 🤘🤘🤘
Obi-Wan Kenobi is tired of teaching dinner table etiquettes to Luke
Luke: eating with his hands
Obi-Wan: Use the fork, Luke
Running in front of a car will get you tired, but...
Running behind a car will get you exhausted
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