A man installed on his car new brakes, bearings, crankshaft, tires and exhaust.

He took a break, he couldn't bear it.. he was cranky, tired and exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yakir13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend called an said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...

Sounds like another case of the flue.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I put a louder exhaust on my Hyundai

So people could hear my Accent.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SweetShakes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Exhausted and tired
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People who run behind cars get exhausted.

But people who run in front of cars get tired.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the gay man exhausted after a long day at the office?

Because he worked 9 hours straight.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The architect of Big Ben must have been exhausted

They were working around the clock

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.

It was a taxing day.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziWookie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."

My first official dad joke.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Chase after a car you get exhausted

Run in front of a car you get tyred

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcloud555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?

Because it's two tired

πŸ‘︎ 722
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordTrollsworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Car puns are exhausting
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If you run in front of a car you get tired, if you run behind a car you get exhausted
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoreanTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Today I asked my dad how he was feeling. He said β€˜like a car’

Tired

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm exhausted. Just got back from the hospital

My girlfriend was really sick and the doctors said she urgently needed a blood transfusion. They asked me what her blood type was, but I had no idea. I frantically tracked my brain, trying to remember if she'd told me. She must have sensed my panic, because she looked up at me and with her final breath said, "Be positive. Be positive" She's right, though I will miss her.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Being a parking enforcement officer has to be the most exhausting job out there.

It seems like there's always a lot to do.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend β€œWhy I have to change my position every time?”

He replies β€œI know, this sub is full of reposts”

πŸ‘︎ 228
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am...

I always push myself to recycle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateking1000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate tailpipes.

They're exhausting.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/byebybuy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fan gets tired the most easily?

An exhaust fan.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SodArgon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I once tried to blow up a car

Burnt my lips on the exhaust pipe

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DenisMcK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Feeling β€œexhausted”?
πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iPierre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.

This evening’s definitely looking up

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BD_4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I dreamt I was a muffler last night.

Which explains why I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmar4234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a strange dream last night that I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Fixing tail pipes is exhausting work
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got done writing my exhaustive dictionary of anatomy terms.

It's a significant body of work.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I gotta say, I’m 36 years old, exhausted and run down

Next year I’ll be in my prime though.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coachlasso
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Dreamed I Was a Muffler Last Night

Woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The biggest problem searching for the manifold is

It's exhausting

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigswig4cei
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I got gas today for $1.39.

Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamed that I was a car muffler. I woke up exhausted!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goodoboy30
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If you run in front of a bus you'll get tired, if you run behind it you'll get exhausted. reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Redstoner
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Some punny jobs

WORKING ON A JOB

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned I just couldn’t concentrate. . Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. . After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. . Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. . I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. . I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard. . My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. . I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. . Next was a job in a shoe factory; but it just wasn’t the right fit. . I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. . I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. . I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TTMOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
She must’ve been so exhausted when they got her out.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LetsTalkPoliticks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
last night i had a dream i was a muffler, and it scared me because i woke up... exhausted 😬
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CCisme5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
His arm must be exhausted
πŸ‘︎ 282
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshTay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Don't Stand in front of a running car!

You'll get Tired!

Don't stand behind them either!

You'll get exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm exhausted after running around collecting the first 25 letters of the alphabet in a net...

I need to catch some Zs.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
🚨︎ report
A man was trotting across the Prairie when is horse suddenly died...

It took him three days to make it to the closest town. To his dismay, nobody in that town had a horse for sale. So he started walking to the next town. After three days the man, exhausted, started asking around and looking for a horse for sale.Again, nobody could help him.He did,however,stumbled upon a place that sold horses but the man in charge was fresh out.

"Sold my last one just yesterday,"he said."I do, however, have a brother that sells horses. He's about a day's walk west.He owns a corral. He might have a horse to sell you."

So, once again, he sets foot West to the next town and finds the mans brother.

"I heard you might have a horse for sale, he asks."

"Well, I have one, but he don't look so good."he replies.

"I don't care. I've been walking for darn near a week and I'm tired and exhausted. I'll take him."

So after the man pays for the horse, he hops on him takes off and the horse hits a tree and stops.

"Hey,"the man says." I think you sold me a blind horse.Fact is, I'm

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm exhausted like a Himalayan mountain.

When will I Everest

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies

She Satired

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruce_Wang007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamt that I put a new muffler on my car.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpep0469
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was a muffler last night.

and I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonHaddad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deadlyporkchop7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.