FLAT TIRE PUNS quick go!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/secondgear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
🚨︎ report
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.

Those were Goodyears

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunk98
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What’s the best vegetable to have around when you get a flat tire?

A spare I guess

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
"tire"lessly
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just-Be-Chill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
I was hired to fix tires at the bike shop, but I'd rather be their media guy.

I guess I'm more of a spokesman.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What is it called when you change a bike's tires for the very last time?

Retired

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I almost fell asleep at the tire shop

It was just so tiring.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcpat21
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
A man is stealing tires from police cars

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalHybrid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Why did the man buy a tire storage center?

It was in his wheelhouse

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Singer_Spectre
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Wanted: man has been stealing tires off police cars.

Authorities have been working tirelessly to catch him.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iFunny_15_T0x1c
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
A man steals the tires of a police car

The policemen are working tirelessly to get him

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redditermination
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
What do you need when you get a flat tire?

Asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andythorn1438
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I bought a car that has a wooden engine, wooden tires, wooden steering wheel, and wooden seats.

Problem is it wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amiradzim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
What's the best vegetable to have in your car if you have a flat tire?

Asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDeathtune
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
Remember when you could go to gas stations and put air in your tires for free? Now it’s $1.75! You know why?

Inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalrefuge86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the car's front tire say to the rear tire?

I'll see you around!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
What did the car's front tire say to the rear tire?

Why so low? Are you tired?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a Goodyear tire turns into a frog?

Leap year

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Why is the air for your tires at gas stations more expensive than it was 20 years ago?

Inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smorly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a joke about bicycle tires, but i couldnt handle the preasure

I think i might have put the BAR too high

When im done i will let out a PSIgh of relief

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heraugast12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Got new tires on my car last week

Dad said i look tired.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathposi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
It used to be free to fill your car tire up with air. Now it coasts 1.50. You know why?

Inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoshForce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the guy at the tire shop quit?

He retired because he was tired of so much re-tiring.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I still remember my childhood quite fondly, when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a happy childhood; Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire.

Those were Goodyears.

πŸ‘︎ 257
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How many condoms can you make from a tire?

Well there are 365 in a good year.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VestigialHead
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Who invented tires?

I don't really know, but whoever did was wheel smart.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chimichangaman07
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was having trouble picking up my spare tire.

So I removed 30 lbs of air and I still can't lift it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dkichline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Remember when air for your tires was free at the gas station but now it costs $1...wanna know why?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/midwest-distrest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
One of my favorite times in my life was when my brothers put me in car tires and pushed me down hills

They were Goodyear’s

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the tires off all the police cars.

The cops are working on it tirelessly.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
In preparation for winter, I mounted my car's snow tires this weekend.

Now there's a tiring job.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uranus_be_cold
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy stealing police car tires?

They are working tirelessly to catch him!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/razorbeets
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market

I should have bought asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms ?

One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n4snl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear there's a theif going around stealing police cars tires?

Police are working tirelessly trying to find them.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are tires more expensive than ever?

It’s because of inflation

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œWould you like your tires rotated sir?” Dad: β€œI’m pretty sure they rotate when I drive buddy, haha.”
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/njurdie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I have some happy childhood memories of my dad putting us inside tires and rolling us downhill.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My car tire company became successful

It gained traction

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrToastyToast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
One of my favorite childhood memories is when my dad used to roll us down the hill inside of a tire.

Those were the Goodyears.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoneMoreHip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear one's a great year

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GroochyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A mechanic fell asleep and was crushed when another mechanic didn’t see him and lowered the lift. Cause of death? He was tire’d.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I just bought a replacement tire for 20 bucks more than I had paid for the old one which had gone flat.

Damn inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was so relieved when I found the tire store.

It really was the best place to take a leak.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarkGrudge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If you let the air out of tires, is it fresh air or tired air?

From my friend and former coworker Jim. The "king" of dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaVortex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Air for your car tires used to be free, but now it's a dollar or more.

Inflation can really blow.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakerkc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Finally got around to putting summer tires on my car

It was pretty tiring

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LukeWarm74
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh seems like I've got a flat tire, don't worry I've got a spare in the back

Opens up to reveal two bowling pins

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraiseTheStu00
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I have fond memories of my childhood when Dad used to roll us down a hill inside spare car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Remember when air for your tires was free? Now it's $1.50...

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrantMC80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Same here, tire.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RusticRock
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I remember our childhood quite fondly. My favorite memory is when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call a mash up between Pokemon and bike tires?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patchoulius
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do drummers feet tire before their hands?

Because their feet are constantly working, making Toe Jam...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Had to pay $1.75 to put air in my tire today.

This inflation is out of control!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
You guys wanna hear a joke about a flat tire?

No pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bareknuckledragon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
When I first started driving, you could fill your tires for free. Nowadays every machine costs at least a buck...

Damn inflation

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a flat tire's favorite vegetable?

A spare, I guess

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stevehrowe2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Flat tire
πŸ‘︎ 173
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimmie6295
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the tire say to the car

This job is so tireing

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memez-plz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Got my wife today while airing up a tire

Her- "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"

Me- "Inflation"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I have to get new tires on my car.

Then it’ll be retired.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glammax
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
It used to be free to fill your car tire up with air. Now it costs 1.50.

Inflation...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a tire after a long ride?

Tired.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pitipuo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I noticed the other day that you now have to pay to fill your tires with air at a gas station.

I blame inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AgonistX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to go air up my car tires so I got out 75 cents but it turns out its a dollar now

I guess the air compressor market is experiencing a bit of inflation.....

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumasymptote
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What does an inflated tire say when it gets excited?

β€œI’m pumped”.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FesteredRage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
On a video of a lion bitting the tire on the back of a jeep
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Got a flat tire on my car today. I should have brought...
πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StayWoke11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I wore the rubber out on my tires

It’s a shame, now I’m gonna have to retire.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kringey-Kreme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A motorcycle on one tire is cool

It's wheely cool

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamthewall69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Bicycle tire Dad Joke fail - where do I turn in my membership card?

At work, I had to take off and re-seat the tire on the front wheel of my bicycle. I took the wheel up to my cube to do it. As I was taking it, I passed someone in the stairwell. My dad joke was, β€œI’m tired.”

LAME!! Should’ve said β€œI’m retiring. Wish me luck!”

Shameful.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tasunder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the car say to the tires?

Thanks for keeping it wheel

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n00nexj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What vegetable is used for flat tires?

Asparagus.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brendenmefford
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about a flat tire

But I'll spare you from it

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can’t some car tires perform?

They’re under too much pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad told me he wanted to make a table out of car tires.

He said it may take a good year or two

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy9kills
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
We used to be able to go to a gas station and pump our tires for free. Now it costs $1.50, you know why?

Inflation

(Actual joke told by my dad today)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SOPA_NO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do car tires say when they are riding on a roller coaster?

Wheeeeeeee-ls

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Invisibirb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Is it just me, or are tire prices...

...inflated?

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stien808
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a new rear tire for my motorcycle today. As the clerk handed it to me, I looked him in the eye and said "guess I can retire now"
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I got a nail in my tire coming home from the grocery store. My meat, milk, icecream... Absolutely ruined while waiting on a tow truck!

Should've bought asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tj_xraybanvision
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I remember my childhood fondly. Dad used to put us in a tire and we all rolled downhill.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
When buying tires, get them 4 at a time

Because if you get 2, you'll be two tired to get the other 2

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bcpratt2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A gentleman at the shop looked at all the tires I was taking upstairs and says, β€œTires for days”

I told him, β€œnah I should be able to get them up there today”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ktulu92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
For the past 12 months have been using condoms made by a Tire Company.

It's been a GoodYear !

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Make sure to visit the tire store on black Friday.

They always have a blowout!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CasualMobileUser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I still remember fondly the times dad used to roll us down the hill inside tires.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a flat tire. I should have bought...

Asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BubbleBoyB
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my wife today while airing up a tire

Her- "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"

Me- "Inflation"

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Halffro14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report

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