Car puns are exhausting
๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Radish00
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
car puns

I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldnโ€™t find a manual.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlphaAxel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Car puns are really tiring
๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ordelore8x
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was gonna make some car puns...

but I ran out of gas.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/copiouscuddles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thebikerdad
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Snores loudly and car careens off road
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/holxino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 30
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns...

It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

EDIT: Thank you so much for my first award!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 345
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PSN_Clamour_Kid
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My son told me, โ€œThe car manual says that I shouldnโ€™t turn up the stereo to full volume.โ€

I said, โ€œThatโ€™s sound advice.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....

St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."

He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"

The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".

St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"

The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."

"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"

The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".

"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/atheistmil
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Have you got any car related puns ?

I've exhausted all mine.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ace0612198
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.

Customer: "Cargo space?"

Me: "No, car no fly, car go roads"

Manager: "Can I see you in my office?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rav4xle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What type of car believes in capital punishment?

A Musthang

๐Ÿ‘︎ 49
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just found an old pack of gum in my car.

Itโ€™s in mint condition.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 55
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I noticed 2 large bumps on my car battery.

I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says itโ€™s terminal.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 386
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CodyClay1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What car backstabs the most?

A Mitsubitchy

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just built a car out of a washing machine.

Iโ€™ll be taking it for a spin later.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is a stolen Tesla car called

Edison

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Clumsy-_-Phoenix
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Car go Vroom Vroom.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/seesakogoli
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.

We have....a lot in common.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 55
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a man with a car on his head?

An ambulance! He's got a car on his head!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 78
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rav4xle
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What books do cars like to read?

Autobiographies.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wotmate
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you call a pet in a car?

A carpet

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Robi_NRM
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I tried having a conversation with the rudest car salesman ever.

He just kept saying he had 0% interest.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shimmywaffles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Railroad crossing without any cars. Spell that without any Rโ€™s

T H A T

๐Ÿ‘︎ 35
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KnifeLegend19
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars

Theyโ€™ve been working tirelessly to find him

๐Ÿ‘︎ 101
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/itsaustinjones
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is the most flexible car

The Mercedes Bends

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CaptianSoup
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Hello this is my cAR
๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/micah_amerson
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I knew a Korean guy who would never stop his car

His name was Noh Pahk Ing

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/math-pro
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them?

NYYYYOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

๐Ÿ‘︎ 151
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Whymustudodat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was trying to sell my car to this guy. He asked a bunch of questions about it and seemed interested, then asked โ€œcargo space?โ€ I was confused and told him no.

Car go road

๐Ÿ‘︎ 281
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tblaine4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s it called when a pedestrian is run over by a car?

Cars Against Humanity.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/spjdm2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I drove my new car out of the lot, only to find the reverse gear broken.

Thereโ€™s no going back now.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What kind of car does an egg drive?

A Yolkswagen

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My therapist refused to help me with my fear of backing up my car

She said she would under no circumstances perform reverse psychology

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dingle485
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A guy walked into a Ford dealership. He saw a car that was really expensive.

He couldn't a-FORD it.

(This is not original, I saw it somewhere else, not on Reddit)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheRealStickBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the car made of wooden wheels, body, and engine?

It wooden drive ๐Ÿ™

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Singer_Spectre
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was challenged to a race by the same British-made car I was driving...

It was a Jag war.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a man who doesnโ€™t own a car?

A taxi.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rav4xle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Been out washing the car with my son.

He said Dad why donโ€™t you use a sponge like the other dads?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 71
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IAMBiSH
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What car does a liberal drive?

A wokesvagen.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sylviaplath19
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If a car is going 30 km/h and makes a 35-degree turn, which of its wheels turns the slowest?

The spare tire...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pinkisjustnumbers
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Where did the astronaut park his car?

In the space man!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ifiozot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife laughed at me when I told her I was building a car made of spaghetti..

Until I drove pasta

๐Ÿ‘︎ 93
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sardonicuis
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got a screw in my car tire today...

...I had no idea my wife and I could even fit in there!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/blochow2001
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a guy who loses his car in Mexico

Carlos

๐Ÿ‘︎ 245
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DeadStabb
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A joke for Star Wars Day: What kind of car does a jedi drive?

A toy Yoda

๐Ÿ‘︎ 44
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/td941
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The weatherman for our local TV channel broke both his arms and his legs in a car accident.

He is calling in from the hospital with his four casts.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 29
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.

Police are working 'tirelessly' to catch him.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 37
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KoheFish
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the car company that has started making Star Wars figurines?

Toyota now makes toy Yodas...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So I told my friend I was gonna watch Cars for the first time and he told me how it ends.

Spoiler Alert.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TickLikesBombs
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Some jerk just threw a container of omega 3 tables at me from a moving car.

I'm ok, the damage was super-fish-oil.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mickd333
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Chase after a car you get exhausted

Run in front of a car you get tyred

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/blackcloud555
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 08
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I tried to come up with a good dad joke about cars

But it was exhausting

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call the tv show where hot air balloons are attached to peoples cars

Blimp My Ride

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brandon_Mercer078
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I had to replace 3 flats on my car...

I was just 2 tired

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hotsprings1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you get two whales in a car

Drive down the m4

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Adhammoussa_
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What technology powers Satan's car?

The infernal combustion engine

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DatJayblesDoe
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The manual that comes with your car is

Basically an autobiography

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scottabeer
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A father was outside washing his car with his son

The son asks: "Dad, can't we just use a sponge?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ba71905
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.

I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rav4xle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
(I seriously don't get this) A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down

He hiked several miles to a farmhouse, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight.

โ€œSure,โ€ said the farmer, โ€œmy wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but theyโ€™re off to college, and Iโ€™m all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up.โ€

Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.

The farmer called after him,โ€œDidnโ€™t you hear what I said? I have lots of room.โ€

โ€œI heard you,โ€ said the salesman, โ€œbut I think Iโ€™m in the wrong joke.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is the best tool to make a car move?

A screw driver

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I bought a copy of MS Office, but I dropped it on the road going back to my car...

...well, that's the Word on the street.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KW-DadJoker
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are people drawn to police cars?

Because of the Siren.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Princess-Nik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What kind of car insurance does a rat have?

Road Dent Insurance .

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gawd_of_oh_Lawd
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?

A Lot

๐Ÿ‘︎ 99
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/semanticdm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 18
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What car was in bible times?

Honda, because the disciples were all โ€˜in one accord.โ€™

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/glitterypainter
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 29
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What make of car do they drive in movie Frozen?

Fjords

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jacket_with_sleeves
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I tried to rev up my car today

but in the end itโ€™s clearly exhausted.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dyspaereunia
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
After I bought my car I started feeling sick...

I guess you could say I got car-owner virus

๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bagle05
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 21
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The other week the police arrived on the scene to find me upside down in my car...

They told me not to be so silly, and to sit properly...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What car did they drive around with in the wild west?

A Howdy

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IWantToFart
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man washed his car with his son.

His son said: dad, canโ€™t you just use a sponge?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UselessCentipede
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My Second son was born in the car on the way to the hospital.

We named him Carson

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GeorgeDubyahKush
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was going to post about how much trouble my Swedish car has been . . .

...but I guess nobody really wants to hear that old Saab story.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KW-DadJoker
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When I woke up from a car accident in a full body cast my wife was right there at my side

To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NHl20-Fan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:

A Dell set fire to the train

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/doublegoldendragon
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What car should Alexis drive?

A Lexus

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/larsenv
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
LIFE RANT: yesterday was the first day Iโ€™ve been outside my house since coronavirus started, I just wanted to get some Jimmy Johns. Itโ€™s been 3 months, I ordered a #16 Club Lulu, something seemed off but by the time I got to the car I realized...

Oops, wrong sub

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/superto3
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So i was just talking to my dad and he asks me if the sunroof in my new car leaks, i told him no.

He says "thats good because then it would be a rain roof"....

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SharpeF
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's a sheep's favorite car to drive?

A LAMBorghini!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FullSass
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Judi tried to sell her old car.

She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "as long as I can sell the car."

"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dennyitlo
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
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I put my cat in my car

guess you could call it a cat-illac.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gamerzplayerz
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22
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I told this girl I was talking to that I like to race cars, she asked me if I win often

I said no, the cars are much faster

๐Ÿ‘︎ 479
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/arnowhite
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21
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I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.

It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jan_Tik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no thatโ€™s just ice cream.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 28
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I was in the car with my grandpa Talking to him at this is how that convo went

Him: โ€œYou ought to try new things.โ€ Me: โ€œIllegal.โ€ Him: โ€œSick bird.โ€ Took me a long time to get.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_Clex_
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08
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Spoiler warning for cars
๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChitvanSingh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15
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My sister bet me a thousand dollars that I could not build a car out of noodles.

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Psych-Demon
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
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Tried starting my car this morning but it just coughed and spluttered..

I think itโ€™s got car owner virus

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sardonicuis
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 01
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What do you call a Mexican, who lost his car?

Well, Carlost

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mircojanisch
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 10
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In car earlier with wife, daughter, parents. We drive by a cemetery. My dad says โ€œyou guys know how many people are dead in there?โ€

In unison dead pan my wife and mother: โ€œall of themโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/donniccolo
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19
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A car battery was arrested by the cops for causing trouble at the bar

But they had to let him go, they couldnโ€™t find anything to charge him with.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02
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A man has been stealing wheels of police cars

The police have been working tirelessly to catch him

๐Ÿ‘︎ 53
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/seidcafezinho
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22
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