He was willing to lend an ear.
A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.
Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.
Whenever I drive it I feel like Jason Statham.
But I heard he goes covid-doovie doooooo
But when i came back i couldn’t find it. Where did my Van Gogh?
I think he was headed for a breakdown.
On the back, it'll be labeled "Ear-Regular."
The bartender asks "want a pint?"
Van Gogh replies "No thanks, I've got one 'ere."
Dad, you'll just get stuck in traffic.
"Not if I go another way."
But you'll just be wasting petrol...
"No I won't. It's Diesel."
But it just goes in one ear and out the same one.
I thought, “This guy’s heading for a breakdown.”
Where did my Van Gogh?
I guess you could say he was Van Halen.
Its called the S-Cargo
Instead, he insisted we buy a Mickey van.
Everyone wants to know just where did the van go.
He replied ‘No thanks, I’ve already got one ear’
It was a hair raising experience.
He took an ear off.
They could’ve called their tour “Hanson and Greta”
yep, It was the surfin' time belt.
Because he’s the best at car-d games.
... we know this because Mr T pities the fuel
It wasn’t stroganoff...
I turned up the music and said "Here are some car tunes for you, son".
He started to cry and my wife yelled at me.
It should be named David Lee Broth
So we can ask, “Should we let Vincent Van Go outside?” And such.
Wife: Those look good. I'd kill to have our counters redone.
Me: Sure...but then you'd be taking life for granite.
The other one wasn't camp enough.
I’d prefer a regular-size van we can actually fit in.
Who wouldn't trust a pope that's had a run-in with the devil?
I live in a van. Some of my friends live in vans too. Help us with some dirt bag van dwelling puns?
He had a van adapted to his own specification, which subsequently was often seen overnight in the car parks of the world's best opera houses. After his death, the Japanese manufacturers used it as the flagship model of a new range. We've all heard of the 'Nissan Dormer'.
Bad News: You have one ear to live.
Connery introduced himself. "Bond. James Bond."
And Van Damme replied. "Damme. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean Claude Van Damme."
The van has never had so much legume!
"The shit would really hit the van then". snort
It was sev-ear-ly negative!
There's van shelving inside.
I replied it's a tastic one. A van-tastic one.
It was a turtle disaster.
I think it had just delivered a package or something.
Hertz van Rentals.
I suggested that maybe she should consider a sedan.
A lady to our right asked us to roll our window down to ask us where second street was. My dad replies, "next to first street!" and then rolls up his window.
I was driving with my girlfriend and saw a Pepsi delivery van get pulled over by two cops. My girlfriend wondered aloud why two cops were needed for a Pepsi van.
My response: "He's probably smuggling some Coke..."
Wipe away those ears.
When I was maybe 7 or 8 my dad was performing some routine maintenance on my mums van, probably an oil change or something. Anyway I asked dad what he was doing and he told me he had installed a time travel device that would take us back in time. My dad is still a geek and at the time the wizardry he could do with electronics left me with no doubts in my mind that he had in fact invented and installed a time travel device in my mums van. When finished he suggested we take it for a test drive.
The next morning we got up quite early, packed a picnic and loaded the family into the van to see the time traveling van in action, we drove for about an hour out of the city to a small town called......Middlemarch.
When we got there he said "Well we're in the middle of march now, and it was December when we left home!"
I can't hear you.
Me and my friends were playing Crash-Up Derby on Halo 4 and I picked up one of my friend's warthog with mine and ran him off the edge. He said he just got "Van-handled"