A vegetable that smells like rotten automobiles

Carrot

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krowsfeet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Back in the old days only the rich could afford automobiles while the common people had horses. Now only the richest have horses while almost everyone has an automobile.

My how the stables have turned.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Jesus was an automobile enthusiast and had a car he really loved. Everytime Jesus went to visit his parents, he would return with his car sporting a new colour

His father was a Carpainter

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AccidentalPundit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you remove an automobile from a car pit?

You floor it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PawneeCityCouncil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If you want to test how well vehicles perform during automobile crashes...

You have to be a real dummy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?

Get the kar-ma!

I’ll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bijan_T
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to start an automobile manufacturing company called "Huff"

So customers at the dealerships can leave in a Huff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qaddosh
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I see a ton of people driving in automobiles by themselves and still wearing a mask, what are they afraid of?

Car-onavirus?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Who's the best at installing covers for the instrument panels in automobiles

The Car Dashians.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
During these uncertain times I prefer to stay away from automobile dealerships.

Before you know it you have car-owner virus.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What must automobile companies do for more people to buy cars?

Spread the CarOwner Virus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Pedestrians vs Automobiles: Pedestrians have the right-of-way...

Until they try to prove it!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mylar321
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Look at this speedy automobile!
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pat_the_brat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Making external auditory sensors for automobiles is an employable skill

You can make a car ear doing it

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdfariello
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail put the letter S on his automobile?

He wanted to see his S Car Go.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobraPony67
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a magician makes a soccer mom's automobile disappear?

A mini-vanish

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/demondrum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a broken down automobile?

A carcass.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokemonftw14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Body shop asks the snail why he wants S’s painted all over his automobile

Snail says β€œso when I drive by people will say look at that s car go!”

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AngryGrinch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Where do automobiles go after they die?

Khartoum.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoburLC
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Which book of the bible has a story about losing one's automobile?

Deuteronomy, where's my car

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardedBinder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Where does Aqua Man keep his automobile?

In the car pool.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elmaninho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What is an automobile's favorite pet?

Carpet.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Dads, Jokes, and Automobiles

On the phone with my dad, he says "There goes some idiot driving down the road with no headlights on."

Without hesitation I reply, "Well, that's not very bright."

Dad was proud.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicEngender
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
🚨︎ report

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