Bus puns?

Friend of mine is going to be driving a bus around Australia, decked out motor home style. What are your best bus puns for a name?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newybrewy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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What happens when you run in front of a bus?

You get tired.

What happens when you run behind a bus?

You get exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petty_Dick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.

Either way, the silver bullets worked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What do you call a bus full of smart people?

A Scholarship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belac2002
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpark474
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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How do you get a PokΓ©mon on a bus?

You poke em on! Am I relevant yet?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Existingperson2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...

Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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A woman gets on the bus..

A woman gets on the bus with her baby, and the driver says:

"Jesus wept lass, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"

Understandably, she's very upset. But she goes and sits down toward the back next to a nice old lady.

The old lady next to her leans in as she sits down, she heard the whole thing, and she says to her:

"I wouldn't take that if I were you petal... If I were you, I'd go back up there and rip him a new one!... Go on love... ... I'll hold your monkey"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?

ANUBUS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obenssonosias
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...

How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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There was this bald guy at the bus

He seemed really lightheaded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Athena123YT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I have a question for people who take the bus...

Are you supposed to give it back?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.

It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Had too many drinks at the pub last night, so the lads suggested I leave the car there and take the bus home.

Turns out I was in no fit state to drive it home either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk I have a work station...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2shoesnotfellows
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.

Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Today on the bus, I caught an absolutely disgusting low lying old pervert watching Porn..........

.......Over my shoulder!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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I have to pay for a bus ticket?

I guess it's only fare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DegenerateCuber
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.

Then I lost my job as a driver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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How do you force Nintendo fans into a bus?

You PokΓ©mon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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When you see a person person at the bus stop with no arms and legs don’t start a conversation with...

β€œHi, how are you getting on?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I saw a sign on the bus the other day.

It said "please give this seat to the elderly."

So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home

I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Which bus went from Spain to America?
  • Columbus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Bus Driver

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts,which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'. 'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?' The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Why did the frog take the bus to work today ?

His car got toad away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.

He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.

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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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bus lightyear(btw I know this is bad but I thought it was funny and wanted to share)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuchEconomy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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How do you fit five bulbasaurs and two Charizards on a bus?

You pokemon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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News from a Brazilian tabloid: β€œJhon Lennon kidnaps bus and passengers scream HELP”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guzforster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Last St. Patrick's Day I went out drinking, had a bit too much so I took a bus home.

That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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On which type of bus does everybody get high?

An Airbus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrQuesada
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus depot and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

I’ll see myself out...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gsned70
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoltrenXytech
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What is the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatypusPajamas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What's The Difference Between A Dirty Bus Stop And A Lobster With Breast Implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What's The Difference Between A Dirty Bus Stop And A Lobster With Breast Implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Whats the difference between an old bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus-station, the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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What's the difference between a Dirty Bus Stop and a Lobster with breast implants?

One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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How do you get a pikachu on a bus

Poke em on

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boob implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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What’s the difference between a nasty bus stop and a lobster with breasts?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, β€œUgh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The woman storms off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, β€œThe driver just insulted me!” The man says, β€œYou go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Detroiter_1017
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with massive boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Which bus was the first to go from Spain to America?

Columbus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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