I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....

You should play defense, no offense.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanfibers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?

He wanted his Quarter back.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomguy2322
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Our coach came storming into the bank.

He said he wanted his quarter back.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......

UBUNTU.

SurPise!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatthewLee1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
I was doing gymnastics after a part-time shift at the tire change shop, my coach asked me how I learned to do back handsprings without a tumbling cylinder

I said it actually just took me a goodyear or two

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dis907kid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
I hired a coach for an upcoming marathon. She gave me a run for my money.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."

"That's the goal at least."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife left her position as a Geologist to pursue her dream as a tennis coach...

...She went from studying faults to double-faults.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the head coach of the Kansas City football team?

Commander in Chiefs.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Our birth coach just cancelled, my wife is due any day now, and we're freaking out!

We're having a midwife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rememberlans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied

ΒΏPep? Β‘SΓ­!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klaymens
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pat1122
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A boxer wants to tell his coach a joke

But he forgot the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatonedipp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Coach used to tell me I screwed up my drills

I had no impact

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team?

You're going to have to ci-tris one out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...

Urine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buschman98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My πŸš£β€β™€οΈ coach asked if I wanted to row right or left?

I said it doesn’t matter, right, left, either oar

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
After the pilot had a sudden heart attack, an air traffic controller had to coach a passenger in landing a cargo jet full of various cuts of select Kobe beef

The steaks had never been higher

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about that dialect coach who got bullied by his students?

He took up accents against them today

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WD40911
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?

Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss found out I applied a job to be ice skating coach

Now I am on thin ice

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryonnsan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourmomstraight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I was casually interviewed by an athletics coach today.

He asked a lot of softball questions.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coach go to the bank

To get his nickleback

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dracolord409
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A tennis player was reported to be stalking his coach.

The tennis player admitted, and they seem to be on track for a smooth resolution. Upon being interviewed, the coach said: β€œI would have escalated this further, but he's a valuable student with a great arm, and I trust that there is no need for a wrist training order.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A tennis coach was arrested not too long ago.

The charges were on racketeering.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?

Good eye, mate. Good eye...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyFartyMcFly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coach visit the bank??

To get his Quarterback

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pratik007789
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the football coach say to the game developer when they loss?

Ubisoft

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tribulock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Coach: Alright team, let’s get in formation.

Me: Sure coach. Information about what?

Coach: You’re cut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My basketball coach loves dogs.

Apparently he has three-pointers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerrpSter
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Our high school coach used to tell us, β€œThere is no I in team..”

....But there’s like, three, in β€œidiot”.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Don’t let your kids play sports with a French Coach

They’ll end up with a losing spirit

especially when they learn about the β€œi” in β€œoui”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GEEZusChristman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My cross country coach never shows up to practice.

It's turned into kind of a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Coach: Brett you're out, Timmy you're in.

Brett: This isn't fair! I'm the best in the country! Why am I getting replaced by a baby? Coach: This is basketball. I replaced you with a baby because babys are good at dribbling.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlanetCEC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
After my performance at the shooting gallery, the coach said, "Take a bow."

"Shooting isn't your cup of tea," he continued, "You better switch to archery."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
That’s a funny looking coach dad

It’s called a rhombus son.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Ohio State coach Urban Meyer is being succeeded by the next in line

Suburban Meyer

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markydsade
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the soccer coach recruit zombies?

The team needed a new Ghoulie

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
A Prague-based trampoline gymnastics coach was just arrested for fraud!

Apparently, he bounced a great many Czechs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

Give me my quarter back!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagnarokOG
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?

He wanted his quarter back.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aagistar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ioannis_03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report

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