I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....
You should play defense, no offense.
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his Quarter back.
Our coach came storming into the bank.
He said he wanted his quarter back.
My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......
I was doing gymnastics after a part-time shift at the tire change shop, my coach asked me how I learned to do back handsprings without a tumbling cylinder
I said it actually just took me a goodyear or two
I hired a coach for an upcoming marathon. She gave me a run for my money.
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
My wife left her position as a Geologist to pursue her dream as a tennis coach...
...She went from studying faults to double-faults.
What do you call the head coach of the Kansas City football team?
Our birth coach just cancelled, my wife is due any day now, and we're freaking out!
We're having a midwife crisis.
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A boxer wants to tell his coach a joke
But he forgot the punchline
Coach used to tell me I screwed up my drills
What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team?
You're going to have to ci-tris one out.
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...
My 🚣♀️ coach asked if I wanted to row right or left?
I said it doesn’t matter, right, left, either oar
After the pilot had a sudden heart attack, an air traffic controller had to coach a passenger in landing a cargo jet full of various cuts of select Kobe beef
The steaks had never been higher
Have you heard about that dialect coach who got bullied by his students?
He took up accents against them today
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback
My boss found out I applied a job to be ice skating coach
I was casually interviewed by an athletics coach today.
He asked a lot of softball questions.
A tennis player was reported to be stalking his coach.
The tennis player admitted, and they seem to be on track for a smooth resolution. Upon being interviewed, the coach said: “I would have escalated this further, but he's a valuable student with a great arm, and I trust that there is no need for a wrist training order.”
A tennis coach was arrested not too long ago.
The charges were on racketeering.
What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?
Good eye, mate. Good eye...
What did the football coach say to the game developer when they loss?
Coach: Alright team, let’s get in formation.
Me: Sure coach. Information about what?
Coach: You’re cut.
My basketball coach loves dogs.
Apparently he has three-pointers.
Our high school coach used to tell us, “There is no I in team..”
....But there’s like, three, in “idiot”.
Don’t let your kids play sports with a French Coach
They’ll end up with a losing spirit
especially when they learn about the “i” in “oui”
My cross country coach never shows up to practice.
It's turned into kind of a running joke.
Coach: Brett you're out, Timmy you're in.
Brett: This isn't fair! I'm the best in the country! Why am I getting replaced by a baby? Coach: This is basketball. I replaced you with a baby because babys are good at dribbling.
After my performance at the shooting gallery, the coach said, "Take a bow."
"Shooting isn't your cup of tea," he continued, "You better switch to archery."
That’s a funny looking coach dad
It’s called a rhombus son.
Ohio State coach Urban Meyer is being succeeded by the next in line
Why did the soccer coach recruit zombies?
The team needed a new Ghoulie
A Prague-based trampoline gymnastics coach was just arrested for fraud!
Apparently, he bounced a great many Czechs.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.
Why did the coach go to the bank?
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
Why did the coach go to the bank
Why did the coach visit the bank??
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
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