Two branch managers
๐Ÿ‘︎ 93
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dat_1dude
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 31
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the ninja delivery boy say to the office manager when he was delivering an unexpected order of pens, pencils, and paper goods?

Supplies!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kingrangerprops
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine

if he'd lettuce

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Derpalupagus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got pizza for everyone the day I started my new job as manager...

It was my first order of business

๐Ÿ‘︎ 123
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?

He used the toilet-trees.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/suamigojose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?

Theyโ€™re both basses.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/neobloodsin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 12
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!

I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CallingYouForMoney
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What happened to the bank manager who was all by himself?

He found himself a loan.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the safety manager insist that a big pile of LSD be removed immediately from the factory floor?

He felt it was a real tripping hazard.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/winkelschleifer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
โ€œNo smoking allowed!โ€ My manager told me

Sorry Iโ€™ll be quieter next time

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/raumerino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Vampires make great project managers

They always try to keep stake holders happy

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/garboooge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager: "Why would you make a good waiter at my restaurant?"

Me: "I bring a lot to the table."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoeFas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have

Me: well, I knead dough

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TrotskiKazotski
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the manager at the animation studio say when they completed a movie?

Teamwork makes the Dreamworks

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CookieMess110717
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. โ€œDo you mind waiting for a bit?โ€ The manager asked. โ€œNot at allโ€ I replied.

โ€œGood, take these lasagnas to table 6โ€ he said.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 68
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cotswoldboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
[OC] Why is Sharon demanding to speak to your manager?

Because Sharon is Karen! (โ˜ž๏พŸใƒฎ๏พŸ)โ˜ž

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TimmyTesticles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just hired Squirtle as our new Human Resources manager

It used to be Charmander but things tended to get heated. This new guy seems to have cooled things off

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TeKilleNit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the bank manager leave his wife?

He lost interest in her

๐Ÿ‘︎ 32
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hutimuti
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?

He didn't want to foursome.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nutbagger18
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cotswoldboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...

If you want credit go to Helen Waite

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shdchko
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The manager of a home goods store stops by the lingerie shop to ask about their prices.

The saleswoman says, "For you? A candelabra."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/razorbladeapplepie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was buying my groceries in Prague when the manager approached me asking for my proof of citizenship

Being a US national, I wasnโ€™t allowed to use the self Czech out.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TrentonTallywacker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™d the manager say when a waiter dropped three plates in one night?

This is really getting out of hand

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Texas_OT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I hear that the Arctic Monkeys recently sold a Carpet to the current Real Madrid manager.

I bet that it looks good on Zidane's floor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stoatwobbler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad and I were out for steak last night when the manager came around and asked "How did you find your steak?"

Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/blueholeload
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager. Task manager.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ndvarn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Fooled by her manager, she was.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 113
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lansaman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Production manager : my BOM isn't exploding

Only if it had a B it would

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DotMad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
An author was mad at the store manager because not a single copy of his autobiography was making it past the cash register

I guess his story didn't check out

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/immasebe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The store manager asked me if I could move the Kia that was blocking the exit.

I said that I could, but thatโ€™s not my Forte.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 34
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I told the "apparent" joke on the front page to my manager

He asked if I had a book of dumbass jokes.

"No, just Reddit."

"Yeah, out of a book?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 353
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/j0rdanthi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My manager said I can have my leave when pigs fly

Well, swine flu

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GamingGod07770
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My best friend was straight up fired from his job in a PC keyboard factory today. All his manager said was that he wasn't putting in enough shifts.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Perigeesus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At work at PetSmart, little boy yells "guess what?! I have 3 knees!!" My manager takes the bait, says "oh yeah?"

He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:

๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/redstert
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the circus manager ask the clown to remove all his clothes back at his office?

Because he liked comic strips

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/doktorstrange7
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I have a very good feeling about my job interview today. The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.

โ€œYouโ€™ve found your man,โ€ I responded, โ€œwhenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sunilrai591
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to a $15 all-you-can-eat buffet and when I got up to refill my plate, the manager said that I wasnโ€™t allowed to get seconds.

I said, โ€œWhat happened to โ€˜all-you-can-eat for $15?โ€™โ€

The manager said, โ€œThat is all you can eat for $15 dollars.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2010_12_24
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the hotel manager move his raunchy painting out of his house and into his hotel?

It was inn-appropriate.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Danc777
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I work at a hardware store with a saw. The manager says, โ€œlumber is going to hate me! I fixed the saw last night.โ€

Queue me enthusiastically from my desk, โ€œso what youโ€™re saying is, you sawโ€™ved all their problems?!โ€

They hate my humor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 56
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mapkar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Branch manager and assistant to the branch manager
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Yakdehi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My Home Depot Manager got us together for serious store meeting. He asked who was breaking all the lumber in the wood aisle.

Me: (tightening my black belt) I donโ€™t know but he must be pretty strong.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImVladimirPutin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the Sales Manager fail in negotiating his products?

He couldn't zeal the deal.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CheesusJesus42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I asked the manager for a family discount and he said "Sir, I don't even know you."

I said "I know that, but I have a family."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AntidoteYYMBR
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the suicidal hairstylist say to her manager at the hair studio?

I want to dye!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a toilet manager?

WCO

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anderzzzon1337
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager walks into the sales office and tells a salesmen "Hey Jeff somebody slashed your tires!"
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scuba_steve94
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I reported a cashier to her manager for sexual harassment

She was checking me out.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AutoRedux
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager: "You're fired."

Me: "No, I'm Bob."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/names_dave
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Posted this classic to the work corkboard, and my manager followed it up with another good pun underneath it. imgur.com/OoOpuBD
๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WEVE_WOKEN_THE_HIVE
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I phoned up the place where I'd applied for a job at. I said, "I'm looking for Jane Wilkinson. The manager of the department."

She said, "Speaking...?"

I said, "English."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dadjoked a manager over the walkie.

I was working the closing shift at a retail store where every associate carries a walkie. Before closing time, a manager will generally ask which departments need help zoning (cleaning, facing merchandise, etc) and the associates will help the other departments. The other night:

Manager: -kssht- How are we on the floor?

Me:- kssht- Gravity.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 217
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MetalJunkie101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a reptilian deli manager?

A deli-gator!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kristoefoe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Had poor service at a Mexican restaurant recently, and couldn't even get a manager to come to my table!

He didn't wanna taco' bout it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mesh1er
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
my manager got me with a dad joke, so i retaliated with another

Me: "where is the nearest Argos?" Man.: "i don't know, should be easy to find though just look for the tall ship"

Me: "what? Tall ship?" Man.: "yeah! Well it is a pirates favourite shop!!"

head hits desk

Man.: smirking to himself "why do you need one anyway?" Me: slowly raises head smiling "they're doing a really great sail!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 62
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dexmonster92
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Me: 1 manager: 0

I'm a college kid that works fast food part time to pay the bills. However, I managed to get two of my friends jobs there aswell, and our manager is pretty cool. So we have good times there and it's never quiet.

Anyway, I was bagging up an order, and my manager thought it would be funny to follow me and tell me exactly how to do everything; open the bag, put the box in the bag, receipt in the bag, blah blah blah and so on. Once I had handed out the order, she was like,

"Alright job, thanks to me".

I responded,

"Oh yeah you were great. They should promote you to micromanager."

Got a good laugh out of everybody, and it will be on my life's highlight reel if I have anything to say about it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Boy_Wonder22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm not sure why the restaurant manager was all offended when he mistakenly asked how my chicken dinner was.

All I said was that it was really grouse.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/flumanchu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Justin Bieber was in a hotel in Arizona yesterday. The air conditioning was broken, so he asked the hotel manager if he could do something about the heat.

The hotel manager replied, "sorry, I'm not a big fan."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 41
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thkoog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the very unorthodox dairy factory manager say to his security manager named Shaun who was very good at his job?

"Nothing here gets past-your-eyes-eh-Shaun?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/limeadeboi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If Satan was a manager

He'd promote sinergy in the workplace.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ASPV_Brew
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Got my manager today

I'm (M) 5 feet from the bathroom and my manager is following me in. Manager asks "what's shaking?" Reply: "Me in about a minute."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bicycleflossing
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call the head manager of a funiture store?

A chairman.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/skaermtroldenhugo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
One of the upper managers said "I do a lot of work in spreadsheets"

I responded "Would you say you excel at it?"

The collective groan of everyone else during the training session made it all worth it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dewhashish
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager just hit me with this one

Him: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Me: ?

Him: Because the "P" is silent

I was not amused

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Operader
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager at my job got my Co worker

Manager was writing a list on his arm. Like on his skin

My Co worker asked him "do you want a piece of paper?"

Manager simply says "no thanks I've got my palm pilot".

My coworker didn't laugh but simply gave a blank look.

I meanwhile was overcome with laughter and glee.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 41
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kuya_Gshock
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 05 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I dad joked my manager. .

I work at a pet store and our order of reptiles came in...

Me: I soaked the new guys and put em in there habitats.

Manager: how are they looking?

Me: Good but there's something about the new chameleon.. he might be a problem

Manager: Whats wrong with him?

Me: I don't trust him, he's got shifty eyes

Manager: Oh god, go get ready for the cricket shipment please.

Edit: wall of text

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Joeymuerte
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My manager gets us started with a dad joke each morning

I think it makes him feel like a boss

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dippydipdips
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My co-worker, a mother of two, got our office manager.

Our manager inherited some land from a lady he used to take care of. He told us a new buyer offered twice as much for half the land than his current potential buyer offered for all of it.

"The plot thickens!" my co-worker remarked. I saw it. I liked it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tanman1975
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dad joked my manager at work...

So as a mechanic I was able to dad joke my managers at work. Walked up to one of them and said

"Looks like she needs a belt. Someone must have told it a really good joke."

So he just goes "alright" and keeps going on with his work.

I respond with "I don't quite think you got it."

He says "What was that? Tell me again."

So I repeat myself. He says "Why is that?"

I said "Because it's all cracked up!"

He just lets out a long drawn out sigh while the other one goes "huh, that's funny."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lardhead91
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The manager of the Native American football team is in fear of being sacked.

It seems they have had Apache start to the season.

EDIT: Lack of context. UK here who knows nothing of 'handegg' (Sorry!) Replace 'football' with 'soccer'.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/evadage
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 01 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Called my manager to let him know I was gonna be late

Cause my stomach was upset and I was stuck in the bathroom

"no worries... Shit happens"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/d3vourm3nt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a crazy co-manager?

A psy-co...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tychobrahe2020
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got dad joked by my manager on the dairy farm I work at

It was a busy day we had a whole bunch baby cows born today and our calve pens are now completely full:

Me: If we get any more calves this barn is going to turn into a mad house...

Manager: Yea any more babies and it will be complete and udder madness

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nickster790
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Got the McDonald's manager good

Went and got some food yesterday and happened to have a coupon for a free extra value meal, but the cashier needed a manager's code. It took like 3 or 4 minutes for her to come up. After she typed in the code she apologized, explaining that she was in the walk-in freezer.

As she walked away I raised my voice loud enough so she could hear me and said, "Thanks for doing that, you seem really cool."

She actually turned around and gave me a little scowly smile like, "that's not funny wait why am I smiling."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shiningmidnight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
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At work and my manager was reminding us our deadline to complete our computer-based Internet security class...

A coworker asks, "I'm swamped with work this weekโ€” what if I can't get around to it?"

Cutting my manager off I say, "You'll be sleeping with the phishers, see?"

[five second pauseโ€”queue collective groan]

๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yessayason
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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Got my manager today

She came in after a meeting today and had a Starbucks Coffee. We all asked why she didn't get us anything and she told us, "I meet my husband for coffee after the meeting and then came here" To which I replied, "you just met him now? I thought you've been married for 20 years"

Multiple face palms

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/allanbarth3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 17 2016
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Met the Manager for the first time, gave him a dad joke, now I'm the favorite

BACK STORY:
So I got a new job through one of my good friends, and while working with him I shook hands with my boss Chad, awesome guy. As we were making small talk I was stuttering a bit, and my good friend, Neil, loves messing with me about it.
Me: Yeah, that sounds g-g-great
Neil: T-T-TODAY JUNIOR, jeez can your mouth ever talk straight?
Chad: Hey it's legal now so if his mouth wants that, it's none of my business and more power to him.
Me: But my mouth is bi
Neil:Bi what?
Me: Bi my nose

Chad laughed hard, this will be a great job. More dad jokes to come, I'm sure

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SendMeASmile
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
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If the Office's manager took over a movie about hats...

...you could print a story with the title Helms helms helms flick.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/factorialite
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
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Dad joked the manager at work

Him: "Ask what's-his-name to do it."

Me: "Who?"

Him: "Argh, his name is on the tip of my tongue."

Me (leaning in, looking at his mouth): "I don't see anything."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thatsteedybloke
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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I was assembling some steel trusses at work solo on Thursday and my production manager came up to me and said "Do you need a hand?"

I said "no, I've already got two"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xALmoN
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2016
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I got a good one from my manager last night:

We are in the process of remodeling the store I work at. Co-worker: The walls need another coat of paint... Manager: I don't think they do, maybe just a jacket. The rest of us: Groans

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kcebnaes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
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My manager tried getting me today.

I was coming from the back with a load of bread when she stopped me and told me to put the bread down so I didn't drop it.

"Which reindeer do dinosaurs hate the most?"

I stopped for a moment and thought. It had been a long while since I've heard anyone mention Santa's reindeer by name.

"Comet."

"AWW! You're the first one who got it!"

This is when I realized that I spend too much time reading this subreddit. I lovehate you guys. Happy holidays!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Adasafa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2015
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Manager dadjoked us in the morning meeting

Context: I work at an aerospace company. There are two airlines that just contacted Us for work cost estimates: Lion Air and TigerAir. Designer: "I'm swamped with this Lion Air quote, I'll have to push Tiger's to tomorrow..." Manager: "Lions, tigers, and Baers, oh my!" (Baer is a private charter airline) He stood in the corner after that as we groaned.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lorryguy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
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My manager was looking for the tampers

I explained to him that he should calm down before he lost his tamper. He explained to me that I should get back to work.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Norsbane
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2015
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Manager dad joked me

So im headed to the back talking to my manager telling him about a transaction im doing with a customer Me: Hey boss, so this lady is looking for a 4 year old camp jacket for boys and a 6-12 month onesie for boys Manager: Well sorry man, all our stuff here is new, we have nothing from 4 years ago.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PhlowJ
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2014
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Store Manager dadjoked me the other day.

I work at Speedway, and I was stocking coffee creamers, when this exchange went down;

Me: "Hey, do we have any more of that Stok creamer in the back?"

Him: "Nah, we're actually... out of Stok."

Me: "Get out."

Note: He has a 3 month-old daughter now, so I guess I should get used to it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RenlyIsTheFury
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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Got my manager pretty good

I work at Panera and my manager was in the back eating a slice of Gouda cheese. He says, "man, I love Gouda cheese, it's seriously the best kind of cheese there is." I proceed to turn around and hit him with "one might say it's the GOUDest cheese."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/largestonedoors
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
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My manager.

I trip over a wastebasket trying to walk past him

My manager: "You nearly kicked the bucket there!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fruzz92
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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Dadjoked my manager

During lunch, my manager was talking about how she doesn't really do outdoor type of stuff.

Her: "I just don't get along with the sun."
Me: "Is that why you only have one daughter?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChemicalSea
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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