I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
My manager gave me a disappointed look when he saw my doodle.
What do you call a ghost asking for the manager?
I don’t know what to call it!!!! It keeps s-Karen me!!!!
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit £10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
“Like £10 notes” I told him
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
What do you call a car that wants to speak to the manager
What did the produce manager tells his daughter who wanted to run away with her boyfriend?
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
I got pizza for everyone the day I started my new job as manager...
It was my first order of business
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
Just heard a grocery store manager telling off a young guy on the checkout. “Why’d you ask that woman with kids for ID? What was she buying?”
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
What did the ninja delivery boy say to the office manager when he was delivering an unexpected order of pens, pencils, and paper goods?
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?
He used the toilet-trees.
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!
I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!
What happened to the bank manager who was all by himself?
Why did the safety manager insist that a big pile of LSD be removed immediately from the factory floor?
He felt it was a real tripping hazard.
“No smoking allowed!” My manager told me
Sorry I’ll be quieter next time
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have
Manager: "Why would you make a good waiter at my restaurant?"
Me: "I bring a lot to the table."
Vampires make great project managers
They always try to keep stake holders happy
What did the manager at the animation studio say when they completed a movie?
Teamwork makes the Dreamworks
Why did the bank manager leave his wife?
[OC] Why is Sharon demanding to speak to your manager?
Because Sharon is Karen! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
I just hired Squirtle as our new Human Resources manager
It used to be Charmander but things tended to get heated. This new guy seems to have cooled things off
Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?
He didn't want to foursome.
My dad and I were out for steak last night when the manager came around and asked "How did you find your steak?"
Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"
Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...
If you want credit go to Helen Waite
The manager of a home goods store stops by the lingerie shop to ask about their prices.
The saleswoman says, "For you? A candelabra."
Fooled by her manager, she was.
I was buying my groceries in Prague when the manager approached me asking for my proof of citizenship
Being a US national, I wasn’t allowed to use the self Czech out.
What’d the manager say when a waiter dropped three plates in one night?
This is really getting out of hand
I hear that the Arctic Monkeys recently sold a Carpet to the current Real Madrid manager.
I bet that it looks good on Zidane's floor.
I told the "apparent" joke on the front page to my manager
He asked if I had a book of dumbass jokes.
"No, just Reddit."
"Yeah, out of a book?"
An author was mad at the store manager because not a single copy of his autobiography was making it past the cash register
I guess his story didn't check out
The store manager asked me if I could move the Kia that was blocking the exit.
I said that I could, but that’s not my Forte.
At work at PetSmart, little boy yells "guess what?! I have 3 knees!!" My manager takes the bait, says "oh yeah?"
He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. “Do you mind waiting for a bit?” The manager asked. “Not at all” I replied.
“Good, take these lasagnas to table 6” he said.