Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
I got hit in the head with a can of soda.
Luckily, it was a soft drink.
I gots two words that will leave you all scratching your heads.
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head
I have 6 legs, 8 arms, and 10 heads. What am I?
I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.
If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.
I wish I could wear a shoe on my head
Because then I'd be a foot taller
One day, as I was walking home, someone threw a block of cheese at my head. I thought-
“That’s not very mature!”
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasn’t as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person she’s dating is). Happy new year everybody
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
What's six inches long, has a bald head and every woman loves?
A hundred dollar bill.
This is my dad's favorite joke.
Why do big-game hunters mount their lions’ heads?
To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.
I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
A guy walks into a bar holding a hammer over his head.
"Ladies and Gentlemen" he yells!! "This is not a drill."
If your boat flips you can wear it on your head.
There’s a Bounty on my head [X-Post: r/IndiaSocial]
A book just fell on my head
I only have my shelf to blame.
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head
Did you know that newborns have weak necks and need to have their heads supported?
I was replaying Wind Waker recently after having binged BNHA, and the idea popped into my head.
So, are you a Phillips head or a flathead?
I’m just trying to see how you like to screw 😎👉🏻👉🏻
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???
My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness"
All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
An Ambulance, immediately!
I'm sorry, I couldn't get this out of my head
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
It was funnier in my head
I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher
My friend can convert modern currency to Ancient Roman currency in his head.
What do you call the part of the snake that isn't it's head?
A man walks in to a doctors with a strawberry growing on his head.
Doctor: Would you like some cream for that?
What do you call a man with a seagull perched on his head?
A book fell on my head today.
You should quit while you're a head
I had a book fall on my head today,
I only have my shelf to blame.
The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
I watched an old lady in a head wrap get mugged for her purse before she quickly stabbed the man and took it back.
It was a shawl shank redemption
A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
I got hit by a soda can in the head!
Luckily it was a soft drink.
A book fell on my head...
I only have my shelf to blame