Ear pun

I've never seen the inside of my ears...

But I've heard good things.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dropixs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
B without ears
πŸ‘︎ 213
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdramanuj
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Alien dad : what do you call a human without an ear?

Alien dad: thling

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fapinfumkin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call Bears without ears

B

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red8user
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?

Its a buccaneer

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poojabber84
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Did you know Spock actually has 3 ears?

A left ear

A right ear

And a final front ear

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. β€œHow do you know if the dog was dead?” She asked the boy. β€œI know because I pissed in his ear.” The teacher looked horrified. β€œWhat do you mean you pissed in his ear??”

β€˜I went up to him and went β€œPssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Commment
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
My son is almost 3, and frantically calls me into his room when he should be sleeping. Dad! Dad! Put your finger in my ear... so I do...

"Get outta h-ear!", he says to me.

Made me so proud. Unprompted dad jokes from our little apprentices are just so great.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yyz-ac
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Give me some feedback- I'm all b-ears
πŸ‘︎ 265
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaeboomering
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call an ear with no eyes

No-eyed ear

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentFisherman3
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.

I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/U4gotmycheese
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost a pirate to get their ears pierced?

A buck an ear.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.

It was mono.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
They say the best way to learn piano is to play by ear.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iocaine_powder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
A bear without his ears...?

B.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-XYeetX-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
It’s like music to my ears
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmckenzie7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?

Dad: I’m listening to A Dell

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What did the right ear say to the left ear?

Hey! We live on the same block.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbiiggdd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with no ears?

A bee

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepy_Man90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost pirates to get their ears pierced?

About a buccaneer.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

About a buccaneer.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...

So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashscar14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My dad goes to the doctor because he had a ringing in his ear.

The doctor says: β€œsir you have tinnitus.”

My dad replied: β€œthat’s impossible! I only have two eyes!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
My actual dad reading the newspaper out loud "learn to play piano by ear!"

Then he mutters under his breath "I'd rather use my fingers"

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattc_guitar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Hi ears I'm dad
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jarne004
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Always put condoms on your ears when listening to loud music

Otherwise you might catch hearing aids.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Thought you all might enjoy the art I made for new ears eve
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duskyfoxer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
How much did it cost the pirate to pierce his ears?

A buck an ear...

...it was a real barrrrgain

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepwalker696
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
How much should a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buccaneer

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
Loud noises hertz my ears
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeaconOnAChairMC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of ears do trains have?

Engineers

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tinytinyspaghetti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?

Ugly.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NepoMi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My ears are plugged...

Short conversation with my son yesterday driving home from skiing:

Son: Dad, my ears are plugged.

Me: My ears are ears.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/angryflipflop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?

It hertz your eardrums

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShyDemonKat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?

So he walks out the front door , comes back in and says both.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MsAzizaGoatinsky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear without ears?

You COULD call him B, but he wouldn’t hear you

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmckenzie7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
One ear of corn says to the other, β€œI think I have a stalker.”

The other corn replies, β€œThats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, β€œNo, too husky!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maybejaeby
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
High frequency noises hertz my ears.
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeaconOnAChairMC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Ringing in my ears? That doesn't work for me.

How about tomorrownitus?

*Pronunciation may vary

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riversquid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.

I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
i have four eyes, seven legs, three noses, and five ears. what am i?

ugly

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CowSensei
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of Bears with no ears

B

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/POZ_TS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
All ears
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TPiel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What has ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, β€œHoney, can you hear me?” No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, β€œHoney, can you hear me?” Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,

β€œHoney, can you hear me!?” She turned around and shouted, β€œFor the third time, yes I can hear you!”

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gho5ly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Awe shucks!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cplaprade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.

It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Lend me an ear for a corny joke.

It really a'maize'ing, because of how it pops. And at the end a kernel of truth. It's a grain.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dukbrand
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't hear out of my ear...

It's really EAR-itating

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
All Ears
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/luckyluke000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
It was a lovely movie and I had a hot date, so I asked her to whisper something in my ear that would make my heart beat faster. She gave me this sly little smile and then she replied,

"Don't look now, but your wife is sitting right behind us."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a picture of a Labrador with an iPhone up to it's ear.

Now that's doggone phoney.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabbafather
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced?

A buck an ear

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyber_SpacePirate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Pirate ear piercing artists are really cheap

They're just a buck an ear.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?

He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phunly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. β€œWhat’s wrong with me doc?” He asks ...

β€œIt’s easy, you just not eating properly” the doctors replies.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Ear-rings
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notBroseidon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?

Then I said 'im definite

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eisenhower_is_dad
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the pirates who started the ear piercing shop?

it costs a buck-an-ear

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEmeraldKing15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....

you can hear the OSHA?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaxxisR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

β€œAw, shucks.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheYonko27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm all ears
πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PraiseGalaxyCat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Happy new ear
πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatohead657
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

3! The left ear, the right ear, and his final front-ear.

πŸ––

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khunter610
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?

...A trifle deaf

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Right now over at r/casualiama there is someone doing an AMA about them being deaf in their left ear.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPenishood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell

You can hear the SΓ­.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thoxis1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Excuse me, nurse. Why do you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear?

Oh shit! Some asshole has my pen.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AskSageNate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Spock have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShepardN7201
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a doctor's office with celery in one ear, peas in the other, and a carrot up each nostril, and says "Doc, I don't feel well". The doctor replies "It's because you aren't eating right."
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thalpal317
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buck-an-ear

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blueboy9120
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.

I think he means ear-ly.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears

Earbuds

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daniel-Jenssen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.

Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
When Archie's fiancee put her engagement ring near her ear, she could faintly hear guitars, maracas, and soothing Spanish vocals.

It was a marry Archie band.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with no ear?

B

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oisin790
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Spock have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/perezgc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
🚨︎ report
He’s all ears
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbaseball54
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What terminal illness can you get from ear rape

Hearing aids

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gabbe20022
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear missing an ear?

B

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/throwawaytoreply1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the shy ear of corn say after he was complemented?

Aww shucks

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bcferguson128
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Gotye ear Vince...
πŸ‘︎ 631
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mairiphinc
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctor and told him I couldn't hear through one ear..

Doc: "Are you sure?"
Me: "...I'm Definite."

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kenyard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
How many ears does spock have?

3

The right ear, the left ear and the Final Front Ear.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/polpoi220
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

About a Buccaneer.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
What has ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with no ears?

A B.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linklarkin151
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Bear with no ears?

B.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call bears with no ears?

B

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSTLNE3MCAAV
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Captain Kirk has three ears?

A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smedlington
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How much does a pirate pay to have his ears pierced?

A buccaneer

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EchoThatEnds
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.