"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...
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︎ Apr 27 2020
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
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︎ Aug 31 2020
I had sore throat once
Took me few vicks to recover.
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︎ Aug 29 2020
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
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︎ Jul 09 2020
I'm sorry but you can't ride your pony today it has a throat infection.
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︎ May 31 2020
I took a viagra this morning but it got stuck in my throat
Iβve had a stiff neck all day
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︎ Mar 11 2020
The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week.
There was no coffin at the funeral.
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 16 2020
I ate waffle today at breakfast, and for some reason it gave me terrible gas from the back of my throat
It was a belchin' waffle (Belgian)
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 25 2020
The creator of the throat lozenge has died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
π︎ 73
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︎ Nov 11 2019
Do you want to hear a joke about a giraffe with a sore throat?
Forget it. It's too long.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 22 2020
Help! I have food stuck in my throat!
Haha, just choking! Haha, just choking!
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 04 2020
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
They'll be no coffin at his funeral.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
What do you call a donkey with a sore throat?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 11 2020
I just got a sore throat.
It's a real pain in the neck.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Shout out to my tonsils! I feel lumps in my throat just thinking about them.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 19 2019
What do you call a horse with a sore throat?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 06 2019
What food is best for a sore throat?
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 14 2019
My brother got fired from the mortuary for kissing the dead on the throat.
Turns out he was a neck romancer.
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︎ Apr 23 2019
My 12-year-old son said, βWhen I was in Africa, I didnβt cut my food well enough. I got a frog in my throat.β
I added, β...So you went to a witch doctor and ever since youβve been a little horse.β
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︎ Oct 11 2019
What do you call the gland in your throat responsible for deep thinking?
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 16 2019
I woke up this morning with a very sore throat.
Last night, in the kitchen, I was talking to the colander and I think it strained my voice
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 24 2019
My throat itches
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 17 2019
I went to the doctors today and discovered it was a really cut-throat environment.
Great ENT surgeon though.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 24 2019
What happened to John Travolta's throat after drinking orange juice?
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 21 2019
My girlfriend asked me why I always laugh at my father when he gets food stuck in his throat.
The answer is simple, I just find dad chokes hilarious.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 08 2019
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︎ Mar 24 2019
I didn't think caffeine would give me a sore throat...
... but every time I have it I get coffee.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jun 03 2019
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 15 2019
What do you call a mummy with a sore throat?
I donβt know.
Sir Cough I guess.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 30 2019
A guy at the poker table was complaining about a sore throat and a couple minutes later says β I hope thereβs Halls back at the hotelβ.
Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?
Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.
Iβm not dad, Iβm just baked.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 01 2019
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 12 2019
What do you call an owl with a sore throat?
A bird that dont give a hoot.
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 17 2019
If you found a pony with a sore throat
Would you say it was a little hoarse
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 09 2019
My 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with strep throat today.
I absent mindedly let her kiss me this evening, so I went and washed my lips and swished some whiskey for good measure. I know its only 35% alcohol, but I figured it was worth a shot
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︎ Jun 29 2018
So my friend told me how saliva worked when it goes down the throat.
Needless to say, a lot of spit went down.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 13 2018
"my throat is a little raw."
Eating dinner at my friend's house last night with his family. Their daughter walks in.
"Hey hon, how are you!" -Mom
"Hey! I'm okay. My throat is a little raw." -Daughter
"Well you better cook it." -Dad
I proceeded to laugh out loud while everyone else groaned a little and moved on.
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︎ Oct 08 2015
The inventor of throat lozenges has died...
There will be no coffin at his funeral
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 12 2018
What did the soar throat say to the throat lozenge?
Youβre killin me halls!
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 27 2018
Did you hear about the dog who had a sore throat?
He was a little husky.
Inspired by my neighborβs dog.
π︎ 18
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︎ Jun 17 2018
I can't believe my friend got his phone stuck down his throat.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 01 2018
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with gout.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 20 2018
What animal always has mucus in their throat?
π︎ 22
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︎ Dec 29 2017
I hate getting french bread stuck in my throat
π︎ 19
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︎ Jun 24 2017
The man that invented throat lozenges died last week..
There was no coffin at the funeral.
π︎ 108
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︎ Dec 07 2016
Had a viagara pill get stuck in my throat
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 01 2018
What does a Jewish man do when he has a sore throat?
π︎ 33
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︎ Feb 18 2017
Where do sore throats go to party?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 16 2017
You know there's a vegetable which is almost impossible to get stuck in your throat?
Yeah, it's really artichoke.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 04 2017
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 19 2017
Sore throat.
Sitting in a room with my family and my brother has a sore throat. My other brother gets him some lozenges and a few minutes later after it becomes completely silent...
"Man, it's so quiet in here you could hear a cough drop."
Damnit dad.
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︎ Mar 23 2014
So, someone posted something on /r/movies about Val Kilmer being rushed to hospital recently with a throat tumor.....
.....and I posted "Is it Valignant?".....which was then followed by the most downvotes I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Lesson learned: keep my puns to this subreddit only!
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︎ Jan 31 2015
Did you hear about the guy that got the Viagra stuck in his throat?
He had a stiff neck for weeks.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 30 2016
What does a frog use to get rid of a sore throat?
π︎ 2
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︎ May 05 2015
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway! ~ My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week
There was no coffin at the funeral
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 07 2019
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 06 2017
The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week...
There was no coffin at his funeral!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 12 2019
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A Little Hoarse.
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︎ Dec 09 2018
The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week.
There was no coffin at the funeral.
π︎ 60
π
︎ Nov 24 2018
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jul 30 2018
The guy who invented throat lozenges just died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
π︎ 63
π
︎ Jun 27 2018
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
They'll be no coffin at his funeral.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Aug 05 2018
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 26
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︎ Dec 06 2017
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 16 2017
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 28 2016
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