Last time I chnecked neck puns weren't a thing. Neckst time I hear a neck pun I will wrneck you with my bioneckology.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LIN88xxx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?

The Coup Klux Klan

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Last year wasn't much fun having a broken neck injury..

.. but at least now, I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Did you know that newborns have weak necks and need to have their heads supported?

Just a heads up.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I got into this huge fight with my chiropractor half way through my neck massage.

Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Neck pain
πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breckendusk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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It took me a long time to recover from my broken neck

but afterwards, I never looked back.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.

I said to him is that a Fret!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?

Finger prince.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowjenga
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Why is a giraffes neck so long?

Because its head is so far from its body...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?

Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuphoria
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.

I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I cricked my neck a few weeks ago and it’s changed my life forever.

I haven’t looked back since

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackit286
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

Because their head is so far from their body

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said, β€œIs that a fret?”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safazz146
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because its head is so far from its body.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rednarb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.

The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do giraffes have long necks?

To reach their heads.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Last year it certainly wasn't much fun having a broken neck.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Why is a giraffes neck so long?

because their head is really far away from their body

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImOverThereNow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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It was no fun when I sprained my neck in a car accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?

Voting has ended. It's a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I found out recently that it’s very common for Clowns to suffer from bad necks.

I guess it’s because they always sleep funny.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lethalwolfy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My guitar neck got nervous

I said β€œdon’t fret”

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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My doctor bit my neck and tried to give me a hickey.

1 star review for Dr. Acula

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a neck brace fitted years ago...

And I've never looked back since

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Some guy just threatened to attack me with a neck of a guitar.

I said "Is that a fret?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat.

I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeocal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm sticking my neck out on this one
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur with a cramped neck?

A dino sore

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramilehti
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.

Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swaggerdagger54
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you find the best neck accessories?

Tie-land!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alehan85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone just told me they were going to smack me with the neck of their guitar.

I said, β€œis that a fret?”

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkerhubbin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why they put a bell around a cow's neck?

Because its horn doesn't ring.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/creedwolf_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen someone snap their own neck?

It’s a real head turner.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThompsonTom
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife said she gets turned on if I blow on her neck during sex.

I'm not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackforgood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said she'll divorce me if I keep making puns about birds with long necks.

That's swan way to go about it.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have bells around their necks?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gmaxis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A sore neck was the inspiration for my wife and I to make up this joke together...

A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, β€œwhat happened”? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, β€œgo for massage and that should take care of the problem”.

A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, β€œhow did it go?” The man says, β€œwell, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massage”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdinmd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TSRshiku
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How does an English Sport Player hurt their neck?

They Cricket.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnixyZ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 403
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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