What's a word that gets under your skin?

Subcutaneous.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amalgamxtc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasn’t answered me.

I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?

You just have to listen varicosely.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginalCWP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.

It’s non friction.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ping_pong34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irish Decepticon with a skin condition?

A leper-con!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
What do matadors use to keep their skin moisturized after a bullfight?

Oil of OlΓ©

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goat_chortle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.

His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
Which is stretchier -- rubber or skin?

Skin, because Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked to Jerusalem.

(A mom joke! By my 88-year-old church-going mother-in-law.)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MintOtter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
You know what really gets under my skin?

Needles

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dcouncil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
My wife was telling me about a certain artist's skin care routine

Wife : Do you know (artist's name)? Her skin care routine has 38 steps.

Me : Well, it's not that far tbh.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clowninmyhead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dwarf convict with a debilitating skin disease?

A lepercon

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Do you know what causes dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thewonkabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a skin doctor for silly dogs?

A Derpatologist

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Destro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
So I’m rolling through the supermarket and I see these Bare Skin condoms...

And all I can think is, β€œGod please let it be panda”.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brannono
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
I beat my rivals by inventing the world's first book made from onion skin.

Read it and weep!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
I have the best skin care routine

It’s not good enough to bring you to tears, but it’ll certainly moisturize.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
Where do dead skin cells come from?

You make it from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robbdiggs
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I made the decision to not date the girl with skin lesions on her face too hastily...

The decision was rash.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elephant’s skin doctor?

A pachydermatologist

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrandeThighs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
Makeup used to contain lead that actually make their skin worse.

That is a bit iron-ic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erkang06
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
I know a kid who was born without eyelids. His parents decided to have him circumcised and used his foreskin as a skin graft for his eyelids. The surgery went really well....

.... although afterwards he was a bit cockeyed.

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diceberg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to get my wife to accept my apology after saying her skin was like leather

But she's not suede

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinema_King
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What’s the number one cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fartingfajita
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL that deposits of hard dried skin are called corns

This means the layers of skin I pull off of those areas are corn flakes

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/basmith0
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
β€œI’d like to prescribe you a topical ointment for your skin irritation,” my doctor said.

β€œWoah, woah, doc,” I said, β€œLet’s not make any rash decisions.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?

Ass skin for a friend

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Finely chopped meat mixed with gelatine, blood, grits, or bread, then stuffed into animal intestines or skin, sounds pretty bad wherever you are.

But in Germany, it's the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.

But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend makes garb out of dog skin for scientists to wear when experimenting!

They are popular lab coats.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_-reddit-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Is it possible to get a skin graft from your butt?

Ass-skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schwongs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does the teenage boar with a skin condition go to school?

Hogworts.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wtrsport430
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad told me this one while at dinner. "You know what the leading cause of dry skin is?"

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/senseless2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits...

I got off on a peel!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Crying should give you better skin.

Because when you cry, you moist your eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 450
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Khoalb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A short Irish guy tricked me into giving him money for his skin disease.

I should’ve known it was a Leper-con.

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alaska_Engineer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If we discovered life on Mars and their skin would happen to be white with black spots we should call them Dalmartians
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GismoWasTaken
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I just spent hundreds of dollars online buying expensive ointments for my skin condition.

That was a rash decision.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
One way to skin it...
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepixelcat2
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of doctors that specialize in the skin treatment of elephants?

A pack-o-derms

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spunkards97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
*while peeling a banana* One skin, Two skin, Three skin.........

Last skin

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do elephants always have such rough skin?

There aren't any pachydermatologists.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what really makes my skin dry up?

A towel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nongshim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a snake can't shed it's skin?

A reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/parakeetpoop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the biggest cause of dry skin worldwide?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdollard333
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Sir would you like your penis with or without the skin?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Indoktor
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the saddest thing you can put on your skin

Disapp-ointment

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChocolateSquid5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a big cat with skin problems?

A danderlion

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I came across an attractive man who was taking the skin off of an orange.

I guess you could say that I found him appealing.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a lizard with angry red skin. It then turned orange! Then it turned yellow. Then green. Then blue. Then indigo, until it finally became a relaxing shade of violet.

Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Skin graft query
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zlotnleo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know if it's possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn't family?

Arse skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Skin graft query
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LuxNocte
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate needles. They always get under my skin.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/domivic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My butcher told me about his contingency plan if he runs out of sausage skins

It's his Wurst Casing Scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bloedbibel
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the #1 cause of dry skin is?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rotiddereht
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do people eat potato skins?

Because you they're appealing .

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snuffy_tentpeg
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an oily topical liquid for dry pig's skin?

oinkment

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Two fleas are crawling across a cat's skin.

One says to the other, "Do you think there's life on other cats?"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a runner that sheds their skin?

Usain Molt.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPlay3r13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
[Request] I need every skeleton/bone related pun you can think of for an upcoming D&D session...I want to really get under my players skin and give them a good ribbing!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingNaked
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My dermatologist says my skin problems are self-inflicted

I made them from scratch

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AntidoteYYMBR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Deodorant irritates my skin, so I got one of those deodorizing crystals. I tried to figure out how it works

It just doesn't make scents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lbunch1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: β€œHey dad, I’m not the same skin color as you and mom.”

Dad: β€œJeez, people can identify as anything these days.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/x3astu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you spill acid on your skin?

Do BASIC first aid.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoutgut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Thanksgiving is coming up. My wife's family makes mashed potatoes with the skins still on.

It's very unapeeling.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/first_must_burn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gathering of people with skin disease?

A leper-con.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bawykweepkee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sore that appears in different places on your skin?

A roamin' lesion

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derptron5K
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet say when they saw Nicolas' Cage really sexy browned skin?

"Tight tan, Nick."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
The reason that the skeleton is always so calm is because nothing can get under his skin. welovepuns.com/best-skele…
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I don't have any kids. According to my nephew, this disqualifies me from telling dad jokes. But he's always preaching that my diet is too high in carbohydrates, so my eating habits really irritate him and get under his skin.

I guess this makes me his carbuncle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
After years of research, experts finally determined the leading cause of dry skin:

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackMcCracken
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
🚨︎ report
When you get a shot, your skin is pricked.

When you get circumcised, your prick is skinned.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StaleTheBread
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Need help finding a skin related team name.

Hi my school is having a competition related to skin. My teammates and I are looking for a clever skin related term. Reddit's the holy grail of puns so I figured I could find something here. It dirty or clean it doesn't matter there are no rules. EDIT: We had the competition today, and as I replied down lower my team wanted the name, "Myoclonic Jerks." Wasn't skin related, but they liked it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShonkaMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake who recently shed it's skin?

Snaked

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SinusMonstrum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the number one cause of Dry Skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 226
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aaronj2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adc500
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/it-bones-for-thee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anybody know if its possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn't family?

Arse skin for a friend

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suicidekiller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?

Ass skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the #1 cause of dry skin is

towels

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Robsta68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?

Ass skin for a friend

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mackaygeorge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Underloook
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin ??

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cool_guy_rob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
🚨︎ report

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