Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Day three: what’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....

WOW....I'm cured.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tariff on skin?

A tax-a-dermis!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/impendingcrown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Moisturiser is good for your skin...

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
The leading cause of dry skin

A towel.

Got em

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karenismycat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my grandma to one of those fish spas where the fish eat all your dead skin.

So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I found the number one cause of dry skin!

Towels!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale?

4

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.

So I have to keep them in the shed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?

Ass skin for a friend

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color

But it was just a pigment of my imagination

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skinhat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?

Because it's rough.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin ?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.

It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0NSTABEL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I had bunch of lumps on my skin

My friends started freaking out. They wouldn’t stop either. So I said β€œ I incyst you don’t abscess over this

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haywired4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to substitute eggroll skins instead of the usual for my fried Chinese dumplings. They tasted the same, but came out rectangular.

I guess it's back to square won.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Who shows the most skin?

An elephant!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GlobalDesi17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what causes dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewonkabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a word that gets under your skin?

Subcutaneous.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amalgamxtc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?

You just have to listen varicosely.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginalCWP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasn’t answered me.

I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do matadors use to keep their skin moisturized after a bullfight?

Oil of OlΓ©

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goat_chortle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.

It’s non friction.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what really gets under your skin?

Needles

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaithInterlude
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irish Decepticon with a skin condition?

A leper-con!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is stretchier -- rubber or skin?

Skin, because Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked to Jerusalem.

(A mom joke! By my 88-year-old church-going mother-in-law.)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MintOtter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.

His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was telling me about a certain artist's skin care routine

Wife : Do you know (artist's name)? Her skin care routine has 38 steps.

Me : Well, it's not that far tbh.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clowninmyhead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dwarf convict with a debilitating skin disease?

A lepercon

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
So I’m rolling through the supermarket and I see these Bare Skin condoms...

And all I can think is, β€œGod please let it be panda”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brannono
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a skin doctor for silly dogs?

A Derpatologist

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Destro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I have the best skin care routine

It’s not good enough to bring you to tears, but it’ll certainly moisturize.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I beat my rivals by inventing the world's first book made from onion skin.

Read it and weep!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I made the decision to not date the girl with skin lesions on her face too hastily...

The decision was rash.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a kid who was born without eyelids. His parents decided to have him circumcised and used his foreskin as a skin graft for his eyelids. The surgery went really well....

.... although afterwards he was a bit cockeyed.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceberg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elephant’s skin doctor?

A pachydermatologist

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrandeThighs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the number one cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fartingfajita
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 398
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

A towel.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/full_of_fud
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ping_pong34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yyz-ac
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what really gets under my skin?

Needles

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dcouncil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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