I pulled a muscle digging for gold....
no worries though, it's just a miner injury.
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 19 2021
My priest prescribed a circuit of crunches, flutter kicks, bicycles, and plank holds for the guilt I confessed about neglecting my stomach muscles during workouts.
I finally received my abs solution.
π︎ 29
π
︎ May 12 2021
Why did the person with muscle pain put their doctor through a Soda Stream?
Because they needed to see a fizzier therapist.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Iβm looking for some kind of outer covering for muscles and bones.
Not for me. A skin for a friend.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
I pulled a muscle while trying to come up with some synonyms.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
What the best way to make a muscle contract?
Make them sign on the dotted line.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Why I don't drive muscle cars?
Because I'm not shellfish.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
What's a circus performers favorite muscle?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
What do you call a muscle-bound bee?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
What do you call an Egyption's butt muscle?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
What do you call A cop with A pulled muscle?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
I wasnβt a big fan of having muscle when I started weightlifting
Itβs growing on me though
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
What did the lips say to the facial muscle?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
Whatβs the strongest muscle in your nose?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
Do you know what makes me smile? Facial muscles
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
Doctor: βYouβve damaged several muscles including your calf and your quad.β
Patient: βIs that true, or are you just pulling my leg?β
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
What do you call a guy with big muscles and small brains?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...
He shrugged and walked away.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
The Gluteus Maximus is the largest muscle of the body.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Apr 27 2019
My doctor told me that I won an award for my rare muscle condition.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Dec 23 2018
People get mad that I'm able to control my iris using nothing but extraocular muscles
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
By the way. I was hit with a huge piece of animal muscles from outer space yesterday. I used it to make steaks after.
I was hit by a meaty-ore.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2019
My first car was a muscle car.
Every morning I had to push it to start.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
So I was scrambling some eggs this morning and if you know me, I like my eggs real scrambled. So I was going at these eggs hard, using all of my muscle to whisk these bad boys, when suddenly my arm goes numb and I passed out.
I guess you could say I βover-eggxertedβ myself.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 14 2019
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.
He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.
I said βweird flex but OKβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 10 2018
I told my dad that I pulled a muscle
He told me to push it back
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
I never understood why muscles get a trophy...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 25 2019
What did the joint say when asked if it'd be at the Muscle Party?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 21 2019
What do you call a line of Chevy muscle cars?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 05 2017
I pulled a muscle digging for gold.
It was just a miner injury.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 24 2021
I pulled a muscle swinging my pickaxe.
π︎ 133
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
I pulled a muscle while digging up gold
π︎ 110
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
I pulled a muscle while I was digging for gold.
π︎ 153
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
I pulled a muscle digging for gold
π︎ 74
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
I pulled a muscle digging for gold
π︎ 65
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
π︎ 146
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
Do you know what really makes me laugh? Facial muscles.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
π︎ 987
π
︎ Dec 23 2017
Do you know what really makes me laugh? Facial muscles.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
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