Body puns
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonna-chill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning

It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.

πŸ‘︎ 38k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I told her she has a great body.....

She said "thanks it's from swimming." I said "too bad you didn't dip your face in."

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flugelbinder87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person with no body and no nose??

NOBODY KNOWS!!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shahoody24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/safwanadnan19
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizitushkid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
How do you call a guy without a body and without a nose?

Nobody nose

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/venycriticame
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
I used to feel like a man trapped inside a woman's body

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AssortedCrap
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What's the most sarcastic body of water on Earth ?

Crimea River

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna know why people with shell fish allergies can’t be body builders?

Because they can’t have mussels.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who lost the whole left side of his body?

He’s alright now.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Summer_Spring
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I have a condition where my body is invisible to the naked eye.

I went to the doctor, and he said, "Sorry, I can't see you now."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/195236
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
What did the couch say when it lost 20% of its body?

Ouch

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darraghq16
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What body of water should you never cry in front of?

The Crimea river

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the car made of wooden wheels, body, and engine?

It wooden drive πŸ™

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Singer_Spectre
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.

Maybe I should quit while I’m a head.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Puns about the body are generally corny,

But puns about the eye are cornea.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shareinagroove
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?

Spine

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
If I had to get rid of one body part it would be my spine

Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Few people know that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts.

His name was Frank.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Which part of the body dies last?

The pupils, because they dilate

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pykka
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
"Dad, is the morgue really filled with a bunch of bodies?"

Yes, of corpse!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_suge
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop working?

Your pupils because they dilate...

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
What part of your body dies last ?

It's the eyes, because they can die-late!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Someone told me about a vegan body builder...

I said "no whey" man!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/littlefish1029
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Which body part dies last ?

The eyes, because they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
When people comment on my gaining weight, I like to call my Dad body.

My father figure.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.

To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greggy_rabs
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I had the body of a young muscled and sexy man, she laughed real hard and me fun of me

Until she looked in the closet

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmingFriend
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
A bridge between the gym and body boards
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
When I woke up from a car accident in a full body cast my wife was right there at my side

To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NHl20-Fan
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Several bodies have been found with Cheerios in their mouths.

Police are investigating. They suspect it's a serial killer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/c8choruta
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped in a woman's body.

He'll be born in April

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
At crime scenes where they sketch out a body with chalk?

Is that technically a die-agram?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gooddayitisi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I just checked my body mass index. It says I'm a beast

Oh wait. I'm obese

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
When you die, which body part dies last?

The pupils, they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bkfu2ok
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
Why are mythical beings with the body of a horse always so proud?

They're always at the centaur lf attention.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mehdi_haned
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What's a body builders favorite vegetable?

Muscle Sprouts

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinSpartan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Dad: Son, what be a pirate's favorite restaurant? Son: Arrrrby's! Dad: Correct! And what be a pirate's favorite animal? Son: Arrrrmadillo! Dad: Right again! But what be a pirate's favorite body part? Son: Easy. The arrrrrm!

Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!

πŸ‘︎ 260
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?

Nobody nose!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone without a body or a nose?

Nobody nose.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped into a woman's body

He'll be born next month

πŸ‘︎ 801
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Salted_Porkchops
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.

She took it as a condiment.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Which body part never wins any contests?

DaFEET!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
I feel like I have no control over my body

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Browsing reddit on mobile? Place your device on your body.

r/dadjokes on you!

πŸ‘︎ 213
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.

Then it Dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
A funeral home got busted for raffling dead bodies off to med schools.

Police said it was a dead giveaway.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NikkoE82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
How do you dispose of a dead chemist's body?

You barium

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beebeepsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
What is the body temperature of a tauntaun?
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hakuroz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
My 35 year old wife laughed when I said that I have the body of an 18 year old

Until she opened the freezer

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
For the best auto body experience
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProudTacoman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
There was this shop in my hometown located where two streets met, they sold things like embalming tools and other specialty tools for working on dead bodies. This store was also known as....

The Coroner Store

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnJukes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?

The doctor said he was all right, the nurse said there wasn't much left.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/he_need_some_malk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
I don’t have a dad body

I have a father figure

πŸ‘︎ 219
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pohaku1991
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I’m addicted to ordering cheap body sprays from other countries because of the smell.

I love foreign axe scents.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

No-body-knose

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body.

He’ll be born in February.

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...

But then I found out that would be massage-ony.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.

I can always count on them.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/killerinstinct101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Sculptures set unrealistic body images

They're always so chiseled

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mohawk1712
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
What do people call a person with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeusAlmighty1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Archimedes was sat around thinking of names for the fluid expulsion tube in the human body. Suddenly, he knew the perfect name, stood up, and shouted-

"URETHRA!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Ah! Pun based on my body
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kyatapleekhai03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
What part of your body is worried all the time?

The nervous system...

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaltyLemon404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mist2214
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
What does a magician say when hiding a dead body?

Abracadaver!

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sonicxwwe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Anty bodies
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJFish08
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Blonde: "Doctor, I have pain all over my body. Everywhere I touch hurts".

Doctor: "Your finger is broken".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body.

I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.

It’s called the Redundant-Sea.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pockets-sandy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Did you see the guy who lost the left side of his Body?

The nurse said there was not much left, but the doctor said he was alright.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megaoof1200
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Olt44
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?

They start by dragon it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleB_127
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
What part of the body always loses in a fight?

Da’ feet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeppyJeppy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to sculpt a human out of clay. I got the lower body and torso but ran out at the shoulders.

I didn't plan ahead

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coluber_kid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I had an out of body experience recently.

I was beside myself.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the last part of your body to die?

The eyes, because they DILATE

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTexican11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Give a man a fish, and he won't see you dump the body in the lake.

Teach a man to fish, and he'll be the only one at the crime scene when the police arrive.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Th0rst31N
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein enters a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leianarodriguez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aquarian9
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProGamer14719
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aplay1
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nose without a body?

Nobody nose!

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PinoyDadInOman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Which part of the body dies last?

The pupils, they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 721
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchaicAlien
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
When you die, which part of your body is the last to die?

Pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 302
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikoklis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
How do you call someone with no body and a nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kiikok
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person with a nose but no body?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
If I had to get rid of one part of my body, I'd get rid of my spine.

Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with a nose but no body?

Nobody nose.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person with no body and no nose

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harlan1596
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
What part of the body dies last?

The pupils, they dilate

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KrissKross94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
When you die which body part dies the last?

Your pupils, they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-_-STRANGER-_-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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