My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasn’t as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person she’s dating is). Happy new year everybody
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.
He was sailing on the seven C’s
I saw an insect that was trying to jump on a fat guy's chest again and again.
I think it's preying man tits.
If you give a pirate a fat booty and a full chest, what does he have?
If you give a pirate a fat booty and a full chest, what does he have?
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I bought a new shirt today that has the word LIFE printed across the chest
Tomorrow, I’m going to wear it and stand on the corner at an intersection where panhandlers usually are. My plan is to hand out lemons to stopped drivers. When life gives you lemons ...
An ancient Egyptian queen with an especially flat chest was recently discovered.
Sometimes I tuck my knees up into my chest and lean forward.
Sometimes i tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
If my name was Travis, I would get a tee shirt and put my name across the chest.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
Pirates of yore would get a treasure chest off a looted vessel and often hear voices coming from the chest saying "yoo hoo!"
Sometimes I touch my knees to my chest and lean forward,
Yesterday, I was digging in the garden when I found a buried treasure chest!
I ran inside to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...
I was talking to a girl that had alot on her chest...
... she said it was good to talk abou tit
What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?
Watching John Wick 2 the other night. While Keanu and Common are fighting while both holding the knife the tables turn and Keanu flips the knife around and thrusts it into Commons chest...again while both holding the grip. To which I turn to to my family and say
At least the both have something "in" common.
We took Grandpa sledging the other day and he caught a terrible cold. Grandma put goosefat all over his chest.
He went downhill pretty quick after that.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.
ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?
DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.
I was about to run inside and tell my wife about it, and then I remembered why I was digging in our garden
My sister always gets mad whenever I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
I’m sorry but that’s how I roll.
What do you call a boomer with a bomb strapped to his chest?
Sometime I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
But that's just how I roll
I really need to get this off my chest...
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins and was about to run straight home to tell my wife
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
I saw a man collapse on the pavement and clutch his chest. He begged me to call him a doctor.
So I said: "You're a doctor."
I saw a footage a person stabbing someone in the chest with a hot knife
It was really heartwarming
Sometimes I like to sit holding my knees to my chest.
How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
My best friend wanted to vent to me about his inability to perform a proper bench press in the gym... I told him to get it off his chest.
Pirates found a trove of treasure and brought four chests aboard...
They put them in the hold and, as it was fair weather, didn't strap them down.
However, as they sailed on, they hit a storm, the ship knocked back and forth.
The captain went down to check on the treasure to find it sliding around the deck.
As a crewman asked how bad it was, the captain replied...
"Booty! Booty! Booty! Booty! Rocking everywhere!"
[This is probably my worst joke yet]
A walking treasure chest full of gold grabs a random man and hands him over to a polite redditor. Redditor says:
Thank you for the stranger kind gold
My girlfriend was running her fingers through my chest hair and says...
"I love that you are hairy".
I said, "I'm Ken who the heck is Harry?"
She hit me, she actually hit me for that.
With trembling hands, my doctor looked up from my x-ray and stammered, "This is exactly what I was afraid of." Gripping my chest, I rasped, "What?"
Eyes wide, he whispered, "Skeletons!"
If you see a pretty woman and your hands start to shake, you become weak in the knees, and you develop a warm feeling in your chest...
Go to bed. You've got the flu.
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
My wife claims that she can remove my chest hair without any pain at all.
I don’t think she will be able to pull it off.
My wife claims she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
Sometimes I touch my knees to my chest and lean forward.
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