My Uncle is a cross dresser

It's putting on socks that seems to anger him the most.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My wife was always accusing me of being a cross dresser.

So I packed up all of her clothes and left!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HassanMoRiT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Why'd the Swallow go to the hair dresser in the morning?

Because the early bird gets a perm.

(I'll get my coat..)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Equivalent_Squash
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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My wife wrote me a note about the dimensions of her dresser.

It was very deep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Threeatatime1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What do you call a cat sleeping in your dresser drawer?

A bureau cat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gugalgirl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I recently DM'd a woman a picture of a couch. Then a dresser. Then a mattress. When she asked what I was doing, I said:

Just moving into your DMs.

This is for you single dads. My friend tells me it works every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barelyonhere
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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I used to know this guy that was a cross-dresser

He didn’t wear women’s clothing, he just got annoyed when he changed his outfit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSixFifty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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So my dad and I were moving a bedroom set for my grandmother as she was moving into an assisted living home. There was this heavy dresser and my dad said β€œLet’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said

There was this heavy dresser and my dad said β€œLet’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said β€œId rather lift it”

He gave me a funny look and sighed. My brother in law laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nakedurlrobot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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My wife accused me of being a cross dresser.

So I packed up her clothes and left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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Just watched a bunch of cross dressers run a marathon.

It was quite the drag race.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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How do escape a concrete room with no windows or doors, with nothing but a dresser and a mirror?

You look in the mirror and saw what you see, then saw the dresser in half.

Then you use the two halves of the dresser to make a whole, and jump through it to freedom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonicWolf591
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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My wife had me build a kitchen island out of an old dresser...

...but it's too long for our kitchen.

Wife: I'll have to find a smaller dresser but we'll lose like 3 drawers for storage.

Me: So you're saying we'll be Three Drawers Down?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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What does the antonym see when he opens his dresser drawer?

Clothes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CherchezLV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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You're not a really good dresser...

You make a better nightstand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fightersfoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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Heading into the hair dresser's

Dad: Oh good, I don't have to carry you in. Walk ins are welcome!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forensikat
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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What do you call a Christian guy in drag?

A cross-dresser

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartsniffer42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What Do You Call A Guy Who Wears TShirts With A Cross On Them

A cross dresser. Ha ha. (I made it up myself.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shyguylh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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The non nun

How do you know if a nun is a cross dresser ? She has weird habits....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ransuru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Nihilist Dad Jokes

Why did the scarecrow win a prize? Because he stood alone in his field! He stood there for years, rotting, until he was forgotten.

I tell my kids, you’re allowed to watch the TV all you want… Just don’t turn it on! This way they will begin to understand the futility of all things.

How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. Like all animals, it is an automaton, driven by blind genetic imperative, marching slowly to oblivion.

Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with them! The skeletons are like us: alone, empty, dead already.

I don’t really like playing soccer. I just do it for kicks! Like all of humanity, I pretend to enjoy things, and others pretend to care about my charade.

You hear about the moon restaurant? Good food, no atmosphere! If you eat there, you forfeit your life, which would make no difference to the universe as a whole.

Why did the blonde focus on an orange juice container? It said concentrate! She realized that society’s dep

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vorschlaghammer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Dadjoked the cashier at IKEA.

My girlfriend, her parents and I were shopping for a dresser, but since its IKEA we got more, we ended up getting cups and also a lamp. The lamp set we got was called "NOT". There was an issue with the self checkout so the cashier had to come help us. As we were finishing up, the cashier told us she needed to open up the lamp box and was making sure there was everything inside. I asked her what would happen if it was NOT. She laughed, my girlfriend groaned and walked away, and her parents laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blade2255
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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So imagine a civilization made up of only bedroom furniture.

So imagine a civilization made up of only bedroom furniture. So you have bed frames, nightstands, drawers etc. One day this beautiful dresser fell down and couldn't get up. "Help help help!", the dresser said. Then suddenly this mysterious, strong piece of furniture came to her and helped her up. She said "Thank you! You are my knight in shining armoire"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danno_alpine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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Got my wife this afternoon

I had just left a client's office that about 2 hours from my home. My wife calls me and asks about the driving conditions (it's snowing lightly here) and also tells me that she is headed back to her hair dresser. Apparently the hair dresser missed a section last week when my wife got her regular dye job and needs to be touched up. The conversation ended this way: Mrs BMQ: "Drive safe Honey" Me: "Thank you Dear. Die safe"
Mrs BMQ: "huh? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!" thinking I had just told her to go kill herself ---- Safely ---- Me: "Dye Safe - don't get any in your eyes!" Mrs BMQ: "oooohhhhh" groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueManQuad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
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Wife turned the tables and Dad Joked me on our evening walk. I was not prepared...

Wife: We should take the short cut this time.

Me: Short cut? But who would want to cut things short?

Wife: ...a hair dresser?

Wow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McDermit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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Boss dad joked me today

Him: What did the biologist say when he hit his toes on the dresser?

Me: What?

Him: Mitosis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3footwonder
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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I Asked My Girlfriend Where My Hat Was.

Her - Pointing at the dresser, "It's right where you left it."

Me - "Sorry, I couldn't remember where it was off the top of my head."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottBIGG
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
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Got my girlfriend. Hope many more to come.

She was sorting things into a dresser and pulled out a box of nails.

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't keep nails in the sock drawer."

"Unless they're toe nails."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Sea-Bass
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
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Moving furniture upstairs

My friends and i were moving a heavy dresser upstairs. We would say "One, two, three, LIFT!". He watched from the bottom of the stairs and shouted, "Try countin to two now! Youll get there in half the time!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daystarxc1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2014
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What do you call an Alligator in a bespoke suit?

A snappy dresser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynoduesp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2013
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