Law suits
Suit yourself
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
Whats the difference between a man in a suit on a bike and a man in casual clothes on a tricycle?
Attire
We have the right to bare arms
The crop top
Me: "Hey dad, where'd you get that shirt?"
Dad: "My closet"
The entire family groaned at that one.
This is not my content, which is sorta kinda against this r/'s policy, but I couldn't find it on here and thought it fit perfectly. If mods have a real beef with me posting it, I'll happily take it down.
Attire.
Attire
Attire
Attire.
Not much. Thereβs really only one wheel difference.
Attire
They told him that he was missing attire
This isnβt a dad joke, but Iβm recruiting the best of the best.
Iβm a new teacher headed into a middle school science class, and need all the good dad jokes yβall can come up with so I can leave my students blind from all the eye rolling thatβs in store for them.
Her: "My friend Van would love this shirt!"
Me: "I didn't know vehicles needed attire."
She gives me the 'are you serious' look.
Me: "Oh wait, they need at least four."
She proceeds to walk away.
Her:picks up pair of pants and smells them "Ugh, they smell like a tire."
Me: "Well obviously, they're clothes."
Her: "What? That doesn't make sen-- OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID."
It was the highlight of my day.
Attire.
Attire.
Attire
Attire
Attire
Attire.
Attire
Attire
Attire
Attire.
Attire
Attire.
Edit: Thanks for the silver (my first metal)!!
Attire
A tire
Attire.
Attire.
Attire.
Attire.
Attire.
Attire
Attire
Attire.
Attire.
Attire
Attire.
