Jean-Claude VAN damm
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hapitwat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
As a chubby guy, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it extremely difficult to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
What are Mario's jeans made of?

Denim denim denim

Denim denim denim

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaiusnutcassius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My grandpa just came over to my house with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. Miffed, I questioned, β€œWho's this guy?” Gramps chuckled and replied, "Who, him?"

"This is my hip replacement!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?

duodenum (duo denim)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jensyao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I lost my sweatpants, so I wore a pair of jeans to the gym.

It got ripped.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
I just watched a documentary on the evolution of skinny jeans.

I couldn’t get into it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Police tried to arrest some jeans....

they just couldn’t get them cuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?

Because it’s got a marrow waistline.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
[To someone with ripped jeans] Did you go to church in those jeans?

Because they’re really holy

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/usereddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Skinny jeans aren't for everyone...

I personally don't think I could pull them off.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What are Mario's favourite jeans to wear?

Denim Denim Denim

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Warghost_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pair of jeans and a brain?

Genius.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mesir
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What if Jeans was actually pronounced like Jean. Like in Jean Paul Marat.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nanofatty22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joke pun the GF hit me with this morning regarding blue jeans

While putting on a pair of jeans this morning before work, I remarked to my gf something along the lines of "I've had these jeans for years, they're so old!"

To which she replied: "Yeah I can see that, they look like they've been in your family for generations."

I'm still absolutely floored with pride.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
As a fat guy, I try to avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning, grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans. I asked, β€œWho is this guy?”

Grandpa: My hip replacement.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
As a chubby person, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull them off.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of jeans does Mario wear

Denim Denim Denim

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FruitsNToots
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common?

No Ballroom!!!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hammerlock01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I broke up with girlfriend about whether eggplant is a fruit or a vegetable. I told her it was over-Jean
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/David3692
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the classic Greek Scholar say to the fat bloke trying on skinny jeans in his boutique?

Euripides, you pay!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stevebox2345
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Exercising in jeans, it just doesn’t work out
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlrightRealNice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My costume for Halloween this year is to wear nothing but a pair of jeans.

I'm dressing as Premature Ejaculation, because I just came in my pants.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmButtAMan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't know where love for shoes comes from. Must run in my jeans. imgur.com/f1o9gLd
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GeezusManForReal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What is Jean-Luc Picard's idea of romance?

He points at you, and says "Engage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: I can't find my keys again. Her: It's in your jeans.

Me: Don't bring my ancestors into this.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
i asked a girl wearing fur boots and Apple Bottom jeans for water

needless to say, shawty got l'eau

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gowthamcity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
I told my girlfriend that I had ripped my pants. I shouted from the other room, "Honey, come check out this big ass hole in my jeans!"

She was not pleased to see me grinning and pointing at myself.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habituallysuspect
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried wearing tight jeans once

I couldn't pull them off.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of jeans did Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DirtyDuke5ho3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a man in a tux on a unicycle, and a man wearing jeans on a bicycle?

Attire.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SubSum87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad when talking about his new jeans.

His jeans were still tight. We were at lunch and he said, "you know what these jeans and a small hotel have in common? No ball room." I'm 33 with my first son on the way and my dad can still get me.

πŸ‘︎ 706
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnSpivey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
🚨︎ report
You hear about the time Jean Claude Van Damme met Sean Connery?

Connery introduced himself. "Bond. James Bond."

And Van Damme replied. "Damme. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean Claude Van Damme."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pareboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
man, this pair of jeans is really getting worn out...

you could say they're on their last legs.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derpulia
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato wearing jeans?

A levi-tater.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flypetheus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
πŸ‘︎ 135
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paskill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Feels like an alligator's going off in my jeans

No wait, it's just a pocket-dile

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
You're giving me the folds from the legs of your jeans to decorate my diary with?

That's a turn-up for the books.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
🚨︎ report
If you enter jeans into a competition, they are participants.
πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inktivate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen a pair of jeans with two zippers?

They look just like normal jeans, just extra fly.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gormtex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
My jean size is 32x32.

"...That means I'm not fatter than I am tall yet!"

"That means you're a square" -Dad

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ceilingfans23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Why were the spaniard's jeans so lonely?

Because they were pantalones!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DovahkiinWeiss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I hate those jeans you buy that are pre-torn. They're an absolute rip-off.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
🚨︎ report
So a friend that hardly ever wears jeans came to school wearing jeans...

When he first saw me he said "Look I'm wearing jeans today" and to that I said "You don't wear jeans you're born with them!"

I was so happy

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaptainrawr
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
🚨︎ report
If you camp out for Black Friday deals on jeans...

...you're up all night to get Lucky.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
🚨︎ report
When I'm wearing jeans with holes in them..

Dad: Are you going to church today?

Me: wut

Dad: you're wearing your "Holy" jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/al-xicon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
My jeans ran in the wash...

I got my white t-shirt out of the wash and it had turned blue. I told my mum that my jeans had ran in the wash and my dad said "ran where" followed by a massive sigh from me and my mother.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SAW25
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
🚨︎ report
My mom and I were talking about my jeans

She was talking about how she had never seen me wear them before. Me:"What are you talking I've been wearing them for months?" Dad pipes in:"What and you still haven't washed them!?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSeanLegacy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Good Jeans?

At the Home Depot today with my wife and son at the register talking to the cashier about to pay. I pull out my Military ID in hopes for a discount and she says of course they honor the discount.

In the process of her honoring the discount she compliments me on how young I look. I'm 29 but she said "You don't look a day over 18. You must have some really good genes!!" I respond, "Oh thanks, these are just Levi's though"

Cringes all around.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atmoicwedgie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
🚨︎ report
So my brother was wearing torn jeans

Dad: "Are those your church pants?"

Bro: What?

Dad: Well, they're awfully hole-y!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MsRageQuit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Come home for the weekend, mom find an old pair or my jeans. "Are these tiny pants" ....

Dad from 3 rooms over yells out "Hold me closer tiny pantser!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vinegar_strokes_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2014
🚨︎ report
New jeans!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Artology
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
🚨︎ report
What kind of jeans do whales wear?

LEVIathans

:0/

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohaijoe
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad, I shrunk my jeans...

Dad: Why don't you lose some weight...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/azendel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
🚨︎ report
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?

duodenum (duo denim)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jensyao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.