My grandfather just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, β€œWho is this guy?”

My grandfather: That’s my hip replacement.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A jean-ius brain.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bewondered
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Blue jeans should be considered a condiment

Because every time I put them on, I look like a snack.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benmwaballs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are skinny jeans like a cheap hotel?

NO BALLROOM!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do True Gamerz always wear clean jeans?

They hate filthy casuals.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LotusApe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do you never see people running in Jeans alone?

Because Jeans run in a family

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Br4ve_He4rt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?

No ballroom .

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...

You must be from Mars, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/granquist04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I accidentally left some money in my jeans as they went through the wash.

I just worry because I know it’s illegal to launder money.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Like8catsbro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.

Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
"The Epic Split" featuring Jean Claude Van Damme
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michael_v92
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Jean Pool
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hound_O_Ulster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard about a politician who was caught accepting bribes from a jean company.

He’s in the pocket of big pants.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the guy in the dad jeans get a COVID test?

Because he didn't have any taste

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frontsign_mike
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Jean-Claude VAN damm
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hapitwat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Wolverine walks in on Jean Grey sneezing without covering her mouth..

...and says, "Hygiene".

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/r1pen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Jean Luc Picard's favorite shotgun?

TEN GUAGE

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with holes in his jeans?

Neil Walker

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
As a chubby guy, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it extremely difficult to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?

duodenum (duo denim)

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jensyao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandpa just came over to my house with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. Miffed, I questioned, β€œWho's this guy?” Gramps chuckled and replied, "Who, him?"

"This is my hip replacement!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my sweatpants, so I wore a pair of jeans to the gym.

It got ripped.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What if Jeans was actually pronounced like Jean. Like in Jean Paul Marat.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nanofatty22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Skinny jeans aren't for everyone...

I personally don't think I could pull them off.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
[To someone with ripped jeans] Did you go to church in those jeans?

Because they’re really holy

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/usereddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I just watched a documentary on the evolution of skinny jeans.

I couldn’t get into it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Police tried to arrest some jeans....

they just couldn’t get them cuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?

Because it’s got a marrow waistline.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pair of jeans and a brain?

Genius.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mesir
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joke pun the GF hit me with this morning regarding blue jeans

While putting on a pair of jeans this morning before work, I remarked to my gf something along the lines of "I've had these jeans for years, they're so old!"

To which she replied: "Yeah I can see that, they look like they've been in your family for generations."

I'm still absolutely floored with pride.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What are Mario's favourite jeans to wear?

Denim Denim Denim

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Warghost_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't know where love for shoes comes from. Must run in my jeans. imgur.com/f1o9gLd
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GeezusManForReal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My costume for Halloween this year is to wear nothing but a pair of jeans.

I'm dressing as Premature Ejaculation, because I just came in my pants.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmButtAMan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
i asked a girl wearing fur boots and Apple Bottom jeans for water

needless to say, shawty got l'eau

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gowthamcity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Exercising in jeans, it just doesn’t work out
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlrightRealNice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the classic Greek Scholar say to the fat bloke trying on skinny jeans in his boutique?

Euripides, you pay!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stevebox2345
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel room....

No ballroom.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard about a politician who was caught taking bribes from a jean company.

He’s in the pocket of big pants.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?

duodenum (duo denim)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jensyao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
This morning, grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans. I asked, β€œWho is this guy?”

Grandpa: My hip replacement.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What type of jeans does Mario wear

Denim Denim Denim

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FruitsNToots
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
As a fat guy, I try to avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
As a chubby person, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull them off.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common?

No Ballroom!!!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hammerlock01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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