I spent most of the weekend fastening pieces of fabric together for an upcoming project.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
So I used to have an interest in coloring fabrics, but I decided to make puns instead.
Basically, if I couldn't make puns, I'd dye.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?
Voting has ended. It's a tie.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.
I do hope she doesnβt make a habit of it
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︎ Jul 08 2020
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I want to tell a joke about fabric...
But Iβm out of material.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
βDad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?β
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
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︎ Jul 17 2019
What do you call evil fabric? Satin
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called
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︎ Mar 14 2020
What type of fabric softener does iron man use ?
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︎ Aug 15 2019
I lost a court case against a fabric softener
I fought Lenor and Lenor won!
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︎ Nov 21 2019
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Have you heard the joke about the gold metalic woven fabric?
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︎ Dec 23 2019
I got a build a bear with too little fabric and tried to build it.
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︎ Dec 03 2019
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Why wasn't the fabric softener doing so great?
It was feeling rather Downy.
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︎ Dec 13 2019
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︎ Jul 18 2019
I just have a preference for certain fabrics.
Nothing you say will dissuede me!
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︎ Jan 26 2019
Wife: βshould we get the hypoallergenic fabric softener?β
Me: βno the regular stuff is fine weβre only a littleallergenicβ
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︎ Aug 02 2019
What's Jaw's favorite fabric?
Denim.....denim...denim..denim.denim
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︎ Jul 11 2019
Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?
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︎ Jul 29 2019
Fabric shops are materialistic.
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︎ Aug 31 2018
Why did the comedian go to JoAnn Fabrics?
He wanted to get some new material.
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︎ Jul 03 2018
The Fabric of Our Lives
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︎ Nov 01 2018
What do you call a helicopter made of old fabric?
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︎ Mar 23 2019
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
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︎ Feb 18 2015
Did you hear about the new fabric that can send text messages?
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︎ Apr 17 2019
What kind of fabric makes you procrastinate?
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︎ Jan 26 2019
Is that felt? *Obviously cotton fabric*
Son responds, "No."
*Touches said fabric* - "It is now!"
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︎ Mar 27 2019
What do you call a psychic fabric?
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︎ Mar 18 2019
What happens to the fabric when it reaches consciousness?
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︎ Oct 28 2018
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....
Now her clothes don't fit.
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︎ Aug 31 2018
What Beatle is entirely made out of fabric?
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︎ Aug 18 2018
I ran out of fabric softener today.
It's going to be a rough week.
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︎ Oct 22 2018
I read that if you sleep on a certain type of fabric smothered with ketchup it adds 20 years to your life.
Unfortunately I can't remember the sauce material
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︎ Aug 15 2018
What's the most emotional fabric?
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︎ Jun 04 2017
Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.
Not today, satin.
Not today.
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︎ Jul 17 2018
My dad on fabrics...
I got my sister a jacket for her birthday yesterday. We were talking about it today when my dad walks up.
Dad: (feeling her jacket) Is this felt?
Sister: Um, I don't think so...?
Dad: Now it is!
My sister and her friends just stood there while dad walked away, laughing at himself.
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︎ Nov 14 2013
I suddenly forgot what a piece of clothing was. I explained it to my son: "It's a long piece of thin fabric, it goes around your neck, usually worn with a shirt?"
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︎ Feb 07 2018
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
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︎ Mar 08 2018
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
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︎ Jan 15 2017
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
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︎ May 17 2018
βDad, why did you wrap my birthday gift with this weird fabric?β
βI wanted my presents felt.β
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︎ Aug 08 2018
As I sashayed around our living room, I shouted out to my family, " I'm like the fabric version of King Midas!"
"Everything I touch becomes felt!"
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︎ Dec 28 2017
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