There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?

But β€œShatner Panties” was not a good business.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
I put on the wrong underwear today.

It was a slip-up.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
My friend did not believe in the existence of underwear for apes.

I told her to looked them up and showed her on the internet .

I said "Ha!... Chimp pants, see?".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Where do they make women’s underwear?

Nickerauga

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OvenBakedRuffles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
I created a Coronavirus facemask out of underwear

It worked briefly

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
I was doing the vaccuming in the underwear the other day and I thought to myself

how do my balls get this dusty?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samharmes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.

But she got her panties in a bunch over it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
For a second, I couldn’t decide what underwear to buy.

It was a moment of brief indecision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maybejaeby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear?

Cos they’ll make Chernobyl

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cr4zyduck777
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Don’t go to Chernobyl without wearing two pairs of underwear.

Or else, Chernobyl Fallout.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_SquidYT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bounty Hunter that doesn't wear underwear?

The Commandolorian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkyarms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call an artist’s underwear?

Paint-ies!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimBobBoBubba
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Why did the CEO of the underwear company cut the introductions short?

He wanted to keep things brief.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnTheEdje
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I just caught a glimpse of my wife wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing.

Today is laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Her: what took you long? Me: you dont say. I just had a chat with our son bout how he should be wearing a proper underwear instead of diapers,

It was just a brief discussion.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aplikante011
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a doctor office wearing nothing but underwear made of clear plastic wrap. The doctor takes one look at him and says...

"Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AvocadoHammer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of underwear makes a good Christmas present for your grandparents? Boxers? Briefs? Whitey tighties?

Well, Depends.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BelieveItButters
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I got new underwear today

Guess you can call it unsharted territory

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApXv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you wear Russian underwear?

CherNOByl fallout

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RB9k
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I think we can all come up with a better name for underwear.

Butt hat’s none of my business.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My underwear was telling me a story one time,

And it happened to be reallyyyy long. So I just told them to give me the brief of it

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreddieFudPucker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife with her sexiest underwear on and it only means one thing...

I have to get out of them before she sees me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KesTheHammer
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Wear does underwear go to die?

Bra-halla!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEpicMoogle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm here to model underwear and play guitar

And buddy, my last G-string just broke

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gansmaltz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the pair of underwear?

You stay behind, I’ll go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What does Tom Petty say when he doesn’t have any clean underwear?

β€œNow I’m freeeeeeeeee, free ballin”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCOUNTCUPCAKE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The secret to winning a pun contest is to stuff your shoes with underwear before the contest.

Seems to be working as I'm undie-feeted.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spinnerhead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a German underwear model’s favourite animal

Ze-bra

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsabas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you never wear Russian Underwear?

Chernobyl Fallout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CastroStalin
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, I used to drink beer in my underwear.

Now I use a glass.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I went into Ann Summers and asked the girl if the underwear was satin.

She said "no, they're new."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of underwear does a female snake wear?

A coBRA

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerRedViper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
So I just got my wife with this one... She asked to go to Victoria's Secret to buy some new underwear... She complained that her favorite pairs had holes in them...

I said "of course they have holes in them, how else are you supposed to get your legs through?"

I could feel the eye roll from across the room

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
(Mom joke, probably) Did you know they're selling women's underwear now that's designed to resist blood stains?

They've been on shelves for quite a while now, you probably just never never noticed.

They're hard to spot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piscimancy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of underwear do long distance runners wear?

Marathongs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sweaty_Bollocks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Who makes the best exploding underwear?

Fruit of the Boom

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/budonka
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A 8 foot tall clairvoyant has escaped from prison, wearing only his underwear

Police are looking for a large medium in smalls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife's friends are coming over, so she's said, "Don't walk around the house in your underwear."

I guess that gives me an excuse to be naked then.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of underwear do long-distance runners wear?

Marathongs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardedBinder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
The other day when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to buy some long underwear.

The shopkeeper said to him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call underwear that defends itself?

A boxer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Largedump
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2017
🚨︎ report
A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear

The doctor says, "that looks nasty" the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J96x_Rob_LFC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call the stains on a woman's underwear?

Clitty Litter

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifelonglifter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Today's underwear:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/munky82
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A quick court trial of a man charged with stealing men's underwear in his leather rectangular container

A brief case

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bossofthemoss07
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don’t witches wear underwear?

Because they need to grip the broom!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luigiz23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a collection of old underwear?

A brief history!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_MannyMoo_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I got advertising in the letterbox with pictures of male models wearing underwear.

It was just junk mail.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a green piece of underwear some mathmaticians use?

An Algae-bra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Specktagon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
🚨︎ report
My sister mentioned to my parents that her underwear have holes in them and she needs some more.

My dad replied with "how many holes? Because they should have three."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astarkfruit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2016
🚨︎ report
A pair of men's underwear can also be called a manhole cover.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7CatsInAMansuit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad's thoughts on underwear.

Dad: Do you have holes in your underwear?

Me: Uh, no.

Dad: Well then how do you get your legs through?

πŸ‘︎ 784
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinky_cheese
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2013
🚨︎ report
While hanging laundry, I accidentally dropped my wife's underwear on the ground

I told her she married a real panty dropper

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/59snomeld
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I was looking for my underwear, then I found it.

It was under here.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bob-Kerman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
When exploring I always wear my Captain Kirk underwear . . .

So I can boldly go where no man has gone before

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GildorInglorion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What underwears do fast runners use?

Speedos

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
People always ask me why I named my son "Underwear".

I tell them he's the Fruit of the Womb.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InternetSapiens
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of underwear do linguists wear?

Dipthongs.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BPLM54
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/helloinvader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
🚨︎ report
I put my underwear on backwards today, and now they feel like a cheap hotel

No ballroom.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanimalHouse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm going to make a new brand of thermal underwear...

I'll call it Kelvin Klein.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spaseksplorer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What did Disturbed do after an explosion in their underwear drawer?

Got down with the sock mess

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canyonstom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of underwear does letters use?

Diphthongs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elmaninho
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was complaining that her underwear kept giving her a wedgie

I told her "I guess that thong isn't really fun-to-wear then." Commence that eye roll and head shake.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notFBI__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
🚨︎ report
unintentional dad joke about my gf's underwear.

I notice her underwear has these big seams on each side so I say "Hmm seems like that would be annoying" She starts laughing. I say "What?? I don't get it... oh SEAMS annoying.. ugh". I made my self groan unintentionally.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cartossin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the business man say at the underwear presentation

Let's be brief

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joaquin-_-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
🚨︎ report
My socks and underwear drawer was getting too crowded

so I put all my socks into an old poster tube. Now all I have are tube socks!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeke21703
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Did ya hear Captain Kirk has brought out a new line of ladies underwear?

He calls them Shatner-pants.

100% genuine dad joke my dad just told me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morbid_Saint
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My daughter was very excited with her purchase of Frozen Underwear.

I had to ask "wont your butt be cold?"

6 year olds are awesome when they get frustrated at dadjokes

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad talking about his stained underwear.

Dad: Instead of "Hanes" they're "Stains"!

Me and family: Groans and laughing...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zamibe
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I don't like long conversations about underwear

I prefer to keep them brief

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It's laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Underwear?

Under there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trumpian_Era
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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