After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.

He’s been undie-feeted ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beeeeen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Why dont witches wear panties?

So they can get a better grip on their broom.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I pulled my wife's panties to the side...

So I could fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.

πŸ‘︎ 325
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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Do old women wear panties or thongs?

Depends

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/googonite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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My girlfriend is making feminist panties

They're lacey green.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rage-o-rama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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I saw a video of two guys robbing a liquor store using panty hose for disguise.

So they had to walk really close together.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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My wife was making our girls laugh by saying our dog (a boxer) is wearing panties...

I said, β€œShe isn’t wearing panties. She is wearing boxers!”

I’m just proud that I made my wife laugh at one of my corny jokes for once.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moocow870
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
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The lady in the clothing store the other day told me that panties were 50% off.

I told her she should probably put them back on before someone sees her doing that.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?

But β€œShatner Panties” was not a good business.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.

But she got her panties in a bunch over it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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My sister got caught stealing fruit at the grocery, stuffing them in her clothes.

She was caught because staff could see her panty lime.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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William Shatner has discontinued his line i3f women's clothes.

Shatner panties just didn't sell that well.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Who wears the pants

Just before his son got married, Dad decides it’s time to, have the talk. He says β€œ Son, 30 years ago when I married your mother. I knew I had to let it be known, who wears the pants in this family, and as soon as we got home, I took off my pants and tossed them to her to put on. To which she replied” I can’t wear your pants.” I told her β€œ That’s right and don’t you ever forget it.” Son decided to follow that advice because, his mom and dad have had an amazing marriage.... So,as soon as he and is new bride crossed the threshold. He sends her to the bed, takes his paints off, and tosses them to her. As if planned she says” I can’t wear your pants”. To which his reply wasβ€œ That’s right and don’t you forget it.” As if turned on, she pulls her panties down really slow and then tosses them to him to put on. To which he replied β€œI can’t get in your panties.” And the new bride boldly said β€œ and if you don’t change your attitude... You never will.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12know2
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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I heard William Shatner had to shut down his women’s lingerie line.

Apparently Shatner panties was not a good name.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiderbear420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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My wife never saw it coming...

I got my wife with a rather unexpected dad joke last night.

I generally don't like surprises, with only a few exceptions. Last night, I come into the bedroom and she is wearing a white corset, matching panties, knee high socks, and high heels.

She asks "Is this the kind of surprise you might like?"

I respond with a big dumb grin on my face, "Of 'corset' is!"

It almost cost me a fun night, but it was worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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While hanging laundry, I accidentally dropped my wife's underwear on the ground

I told her she married a real panty dropper

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/59snomeld
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
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Dad likes starting road trips with this one...

And we're off! Like a brides panties.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilsmiley69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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The wife has been sick lately...

and I noticed that her green underwear (usually reserved for certain times of the month) had been rinsed and thrown into the hamper. Suspecting she had been doing the Aztec two-step in the chocolate rain, I held up up the pair of panties and asked what color she thought her panties were. "I dunno...lime green?" she guessed. To which I responded, "Are you sure they're not shartreuse?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickShaw530
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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Momjoked

I called my mom out on a lie and said "liar liar pants on fire"

She quipped with "i better go get my panty hose then"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheepdog-46
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
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A husband goes home from work... (xpost r/Jokes)

...to find his house with the lights dimmed down and candles surrounding the bed in the bedroom. He finds his wife there, laying abroad with sexy panties and a pink bra, and her bangs covering her left eye. She smiles. "Tonight," she says. "Is going to be the sexiest and most passionate night of your life, sweetie." The husband smiles as his wife gets up and unties his tie for him, and unbuckles his pants. He can't wait. "Lets try role playing." she says. "I'll be your slutty little daughter, and you'll be my father who needs to teach me... discipline..." He grins widely, liking where this is going. His wife grabs him and pulls him down to the bed. She whispers in his ear. "I'm so horny..." The husband enjoys this and decides to follow along with the role playing. He then whispers back in her ear. "Hi, horny. I'm dad."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatyMac
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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At the winery...

My wife and I are at the winery with my parents and the guy pouring samples is just flirting with all of the women, including my mom and wife, and telling dirty jokes, which is no big deal, but I don't really appreciate him calling wine "panty dropper" when he pours it for my mom. That kind of weird stuff, y'know?

Then he tells a story that he has an identical twin brother, and when they were infants, people would always ask his mother how she tells the two of them apart.

"I can tell them apart by their balls,"

And we're all like, "Jesus, enough with the gross out humor already," but he finishes the joke; "One of the babies bawls all day, the other bawls all night,"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elbr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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What are you doing under there?

Panties. Oh, and screwing your jokes up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigglesMJ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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Dadjoked my sister today...

I did the laundry unasked today, but I left my sister's socks and underwear for them to do (ain't nobody got time to match all their colorful socks.) When they came home, she asked me why I didn't do her underwear. I said, "Well, I would've done them wrong and then your panties would all be in a bunch."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brofession
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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