She always gets her knickers in a twist
Because Chernobyl fallout.
In an emergency they both have to go down.
I told her that it was her window of opportunity
He believes in the strengths of Asgard
... It was undie livered.
Because the underpants were a 100% off.
He said his underpants fit like a glove
I was playing a woodwind instrument in a concert hall. In my underpants.
I was the flute of the room.
My youngest was watching Netflix, deciding on a few episodes of Captain Underpants. In one particular episode, the titled character is forced to share a room with a clown. My wife, watching this show, laughs about him having Coulrophobia (Fear of clowns), and repeatedly panicking in subsequent scenes. Finally near the episode, she asks ,"What did that clown ever do to him?"
My response: "Nothing. He's It's Cousin. Pound Foolish"
Wife stares at me. Blinks twice. Goes back to watching the TV that has more comedy than her idiot husband