My wife hates it when I iron her underpants

She always gets her knickers in a twist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spudgun81
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Why shouldn't you wear Russian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UKRico
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called

pi-thongs?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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What do underpants and helicopters have in common?

In an emergency they both have to go down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geogdog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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My wife found a hole in my underpants

I told her that it was her window of opportunity

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmy__Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2016
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Why does Thor wear steel underpants?

He believes in the strengths of Asgard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mxjf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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Did you hear about the mailman who was taking the mail, coating it in patΓ©, and sticking it in his underpants?

... It was undie livered.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankleberry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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I haven't changed my underpants since last year.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmnszrk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
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Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?

Because the underpants were a 100% off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbletits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I met a guy with five dicks today

He said his underpants fit like a glove

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilGayBoiNoMan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Last night I had a dream

I was playing a woodwind instrument in a concert hall. In my underpants.

I was the flute of the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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A family affair

My youngest was watching Netflix, deciding on a few episodes of Captain Underpants. In one particular episode, the titled character is forced to share a room with a clown. My wife, watching this show, laughs about him having Coulrophobia (Fear of clowns), and repeatedly panicking in subsequent scenes. Finally near the episode, she asks ,"What did that clown ever do to him?"

My response: "Nothing. He's It's Cousin. Pound Foolish"

Wife stares at me. Blinks twice. Goes back to watching the TV that has more comedy than her idiot husband

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coulrophiliac444
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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