Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
My wife bought me a new shirt for my birthday!
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
Why does the Statue of Liberty wear a robe and not a T-shirt?
Well, with the extra “T” she would be a statute.
Stained my shirt by spilling tequila on my stomach.
Something is telling me to ab-stain
A stormtrooper and a red shirt get into a fight
Despite not receiving a single hit, the red shirt died.
I wanted to buy a camo shirt
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
I made some of my favourite puns into drawings to go on t shirts that I’ve put online! This one is my favourite ‘High Steaks Poker’
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
You should put that on a shirt they said.
I accidentally spilled tea on my shirts today
Now all I have are T-shirts.
What do you call a shirt that rips easily?
Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?
Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...
My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning
He was tucking in his shirt after the microphone was attached why ?
I got a little radiation on my shirt.
My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.
He said, “I’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”
“There’s Bean an Accident” — Tee Shirt I Designed
A girl told me to take off her shirt and skirt
Then she told me to take off her heels and bra, then she told me to take her panties off. And then she told me to stop wearing her clothes
I bought a new shirt today that has the word LIFE printed across the chest
Tomorrow, I’m going to wear it and stand on the corner at an intersection where panhandlers usually are. My plan is to hand out lemons to stopped drivers. When life gives you lemons ...
I spilled some tea on my shirt today
I have a new tea-shirt now.
My brother said he would gift me either a short sleeved shirt or a German sausage.
I hope for the vest but expecting the wurst.
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...
I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"
At the store, my daughter found a shirt she liked on clearance. My wife asked her how much it cost.
I said "well, she just dropped it, so I'm gonna guess it's floor dollars."
My daughter actually gave me a fist bump for that one, which she now denies doing.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.
Turns out they're mediums.
My friend has peg on his short sleeve shirt for balancing small white balls on when he wants to whack them with a club...
He always wears his tee-shirt when golfing.
A bunch of people said they liked my shirt
If my name was Travis, I would get a tee shirt and put my name across the chest.
My 5 y.o. son walked up to me with his under armour shirt on backwards so the words were on the back.
He said, “I got back words!” How did I not see that one coming?
I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...
One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!
Why did the blouse break up with the t-shirt?
Because he didn’t collar.
I went to a fortune tellers conference. They had free t-shirts.
I made matching t-shirts for the members of my fortune tellers club...
But it turned out not all of them were mediums
Amazon has started a new service where you will get custom made shirts delivered within 48 hours.
It’s called Tailor Swift.
After showing my wife a stain on my shirt, she said I should put some Shout on it.
So I screamed at my shirt.
One of the T-shirts in my closet asked the other one : Whats up mate.
The other T-shirt replied : Nothing much. Just hanging out here.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Amazon is starting a new service where they deliver custom made shirts to your door within 48 hours.
They are calling it Tailor Swift.
What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack?
A man approached me, touched my shirt and asked “is this felt?” To which I responded “no”.
I have three different levels of tan on me. One level is my arms and legs from wearing a shirt and shorts. The next level is from not wearing a shirt at the beach. And the last is under my shorts.