I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...

One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsfull
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.

I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
I needed a shirt ironed quicked so I asked a former girlfriend,

but she doesn't offer express service.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GSX-R1000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...

"Oh, it's the peanuts.

They're complimentary."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elawn
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I was tricked into buying an ill-fitting shirt while on vacation in a city in France.

It was Toulouse.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
My yellow shirt is gay

It just came out of the closet

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NorthCompetition4
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
My Bilbie Easter shirt my wife got me imgur.com/wo0GF3y
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barbandit87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
β€œThere’s a puppy on that girls shirt.”

no, that’s a top dog

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
One Dollar Shirt
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeadHawk717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?

An InVESTed Gator

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...

I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are ever working on being more decisive and find yourself wanting to get a tuba, a trombone, and a round-bottomed dish - but you can only afford two of them and the dish will fit under your shirt - just remember:

Take the bowl, buy the horns .

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
I’ve decided that with my stimulus check I’m going to buy a hat, then a shirt, and lastly some pants.

Top down economic stimulation.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breaking_linus77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
My wife came back from the store today wearing a shirt with stalks of corn on it.

I asked her if she got a good deal on her new crop top, and she heard me from across the street. Her ears are brand new!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
A bunch of people said they liked my shirt
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phoeniks26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him β€œHow come there’s no charge?”

He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills

But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Quality Shirt
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mysticTopaz4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
I ripped my shirt while watching Apollo XIII.

Houston, weave got a problem.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I found a "table tennis" shirt in germany
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
I tried to buy a camouflage shirt

Sadly, I couldn't find any...

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iwanttodieplzowo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Why do burglars only wear striped shirts?

Because they don’t want to be spotted!

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superpie5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
I’ve almost finished my project on dress shirts.

I’m just buttoning it up now.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.

I said, β€œWait! I can change!”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The lady helping me at the bank has a big stain on her shirt.

Should I teller?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
β€œHey Tony, how is it that your shirts are always wrinkle free?”

Iron, man.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!

I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought me some of those new paper shirts. I don't like them -

they're tearable.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_improviser
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
[A British Joke] I was wearing a T-Shirt with an anchor on it and my Dad put the letter 'W' on the left side of it

He then said that's what you are son

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears sleeveless shirts and just can't let something go?

An InVestedGator

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend looked at me and said, β€œThat’s a nice-ass shirt you are wearing!”

I said, β€œThanks, but I think we call them pants, not an ass shirt.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My Asian friend owns a business where he twists and binds white t-shirts then soaks them in colored liquid...

I even have one of her Thai dye t-shirts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Dicey looking shirt
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theratrules
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
There’s vomit on his shirt bruh
πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ur-nan-clapped
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt

I'll be going as a Casualty

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rewind44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to go as a streetperformer for Halloween. It took me absolutely forever to find a mime shirt...

But the pantomimes were pretty easy to pick up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Scam alert: Those Free Hong Kong shirts are being sold on Amazon for 15 bucks!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought really tight shirt would look good on me

But I just couldn't pull them off

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YottaDren
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My tailor was happy to fix my ripped shirt...

or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.

The poor man dyed a loan.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Waldo’s shirt striped?

Can’t be spotted

πŸ‘︎ 227
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MahongXD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the bib say to the shirt?

Tonight dinner is on me

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jwlkr70
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shirt that hangs down too low?

A gravi-tee

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaros262
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctor, and he said I was overweight. I'm not allowed to wear white T-shirts any more.

He told me I have to dye it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/creative_im_not
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory

I once had a job in a t-shirt factory. Every day, t-shirts would come down the line, and using this big rubber stamp, I’d apply a handful of dots to them, at random, to just given them a general design that wasn’t blank t-shirt. It was soul sucking, but it paid the bills.

However, I kept running into a problem. I wasn’t applying the dots fast enough. It was a mental thing - I’d get hung up on where should I apply the next dot so it doesn’t look bad, etc. But one of the guys who’d been there longer than I had gave me a piece of advice. He told me to cross to my eyes. That way, I could just kinda zone out and hit the t-shirt a few times randomly without paying much attention to where exactly I was applying the dots. It worked like magic.

Well eventually I was getting ready to leave the factory and they had me train my replacement. It only took one day. I left him with one piece of advice. I told him not to get too hung up on the specific details but just to make sure he dotted his te

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoyoteTheFatal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My dress shirts all committed treason.

So they were sentenced to hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BabyEinstein2016
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of shirts do farmers wear?

Crop tops.

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiiiigBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What size shirts do psychics wear?

A medium.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gynnam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deaf person wearing a blue shirt

Doesnt matter, they wont hear you

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
It's hard to judge the size of boobs under a shirt...

...because they're below see level

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uraffululz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
There's an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts.

I call it "The Right To Bare Arms"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dajafo01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?

A crop-toptometrist

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prokostovich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad - β€œNice shirt, is that felt?”

Son - β€œNo, it is cotton. Here,” as he reaches his arm out to me and I touch his sleeve.

Dad - β€œIt’s felt now.”

πŸ‘︎ 619
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boyleolio
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the wet shirt feel betrayed?

It was hung out to dry.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
*guy in the red shirt* : "Dude, chill out! You're always so in-tents. You need to relax!!
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stha118
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was watching football with my 11 year old son and wearing a short sleeve shirt. He said, "Dad, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head." I said,

"even more interesting, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I just read a story about a man whose shirt always comes back to him no matter what he does to it

That’s loyalty

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Found this in the collar of my shirt
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElGatoLocoEU
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a man in a suit on a bicycle and and man in shorts and a T-shirt on a unicycle?

Attire

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrIiams
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Cowboy Shirt?

...I prefer Ranch Dressing

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DunderMiffedMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fake Lacoste shirt?

Lowcoste

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
The jacket fought the shirt over who was more important to the suit.

It ended up a tie

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the sexiest part of a shirt?

Keanu Sleeves

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you replace a missing button on a dress shirt?

Lay out the shirt on a table, thread a needle, put a spare button in the place where the old one was, and so on...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daveberzack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The cops are warning us about a serial killer who strangles his victims using smaller and smaller T-shirts.

The police are saying that he’s still at large.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?

His specialty.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/londovir69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a really cold shirt?

Iced Tee

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/filthyaverage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad;*walking around with a shirt with corn on a cob printed on*

Me; "What are you wearing??" Dad; "its my crop top"

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suck_My_Wab
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
"Is that shirt felt?"

-*Touches shirt*

-"Now it is."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smartpeep03
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call white t-shirts that are too small?

Tighty white-tees

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DankBoi-69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Waldo wear stripes on his shirt

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blockofmozzarella
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Hey you got some upgais on your shirt...

Son: What's upgais?

Me: Nothing much, you?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grim_Ripa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?

Well, he sure doesn't want to be spotted

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/125bench
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I usually like my hair long but when i cut it shirt it started to grow on me

I meant short

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Klearg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The number of people who wear NASA shirts

Is out of this world

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xngamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of shirt does Ironman wear?

A tanktop

*My 10yo told me this. Thought it should be shared here.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/R3DW01F728
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to buy a t-shirt for my daughter.

On the label it said "Age: 10-11 years."

I thought, no way am I buying her a t-shirt that is that old.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a T Shirt from the Respiratory Health summer camp my Mom went to from 25+ years ago..
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoopaTroopa43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that bears love cut-off shirts

It lets them show off their bear arms!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does wally wear a striped shirt?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_moey87
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Look down your shirt and spell attic...
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend told me, β€œThat’s a nice-ass shirt you have on.”

I said, β€œThanks. It’s called pants, not an ass shirt.”

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So there's this midget with a shirt on that says i hate black people...

Thats a little racist

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edoggg06
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time, always wear a bright long-sleeved shirt, gloves and shorts.

You want them to think you're a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
There was this T-Shirt joke I used to know as a kid.

But I’ve grown out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Steth
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been ridiculed ever since making a shirt out of lightbulbs,

But now, it’s my time to shine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Avartes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shirt you sleep in?

A ZZZ Top

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thorazine222
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Hey is that shirt felt?

Me: um no it's not. Dad: *proceed to touch my shirt. It is now!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A doctor was asked if he had any formal shirts

He said "I have only casualties"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shirt with a stoned marsupial on it?

High koala tee.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arsenal_12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the wrinkled shirt feeling so fatigued?

Because it wasn’t getting enough iron.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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My tailor was happy to fix my ripped shirt...

Or sew it seams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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The jacket fought the shirt over who was more important to the suit.

It ended up a tie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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My wife came back from the store today wearing a shirt with stalks of corn on it.

I asked her if she got a good deal on her new crop top, and she heard me from across the street. Her ears are brand new!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RemarkableMoose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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