Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
I met a pretty cool guy who fixed my ripped shirt.
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
My wife bought me a new shirt for my birthday!
Saw this one in Walmart, it’s a baby shirt!!
Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours.
It’s called Tailor Swift.
For the first time in 6 months, it was warm enough to go outside in just a t-shirt today.
I probably should have worn pants, too.
what did the school staff do when a student wore a shirt with a picture of a robber?
My son asked me to put his shirt on for him
I replied “your shirt probably wouldn’t fit me”
Once a coin saved a person's life, the coin was in his shirt pocket, the coin deflected the bullet shot at him
The coin was truly his life savings
Why do shirts get what they want.
Because they’re a-shirt-tive
Sorry if this is already a joke I just thought of it
Since it's International Women's Day, I'd like to point out some inequality: If my wife wears nothing but one of my t-shirts it's cute, but if I wear nothing but one of her t-shirts...
...I have to leave Home Depot.
I noticed my shirt had a couple of holes in it when I was getting dressed this morning.
I thought that was pretty cool, 'cuz it gave me somewhere to put my arms.
the “Beatles for sale” album T-shirt is... for sale, and on sale.
I have very fond memories of my dad arriving home, wearing his white t-shirt, black leather jacket, giving me the thumbs up, and saying 'Ayyyy'...
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
Why does the Statue of Liberty wear a robe and not a T-shirt?
Well, with the extra “T” she would be a statute.
I am so incredibly surprised by how easy it is to buy my shirts online...
I swear I nearly shipped my pants.
A stormtrooper and a red shirt get into a fight
Despite not receiving a single hit, the red shirt died.
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
Stained my shirt by spilling tequila on my stomach.
Something is telling me to ab-stain
You should put that on a shirt they said.
I wanted to buy a camo shirt
My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...
I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"
I accidentally spilled tea on my shirts today
Now all I have are T-shirts.
A girl told me to take off her shirt and skirt
Then she told me to take off her heels and bra, then she told me to take her panties off. And then she told me to stop wearing her clothes
“There’s Bean an Accident” — Tee Shirt I Designed
A bunch of people said they liked my shirt
What do you call a shirt that rips easily?
Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?
Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
I got a little radiation on my shirt.
He was tucking in his shirt after the microphone was attached why ?
My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.
He said, “I’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”
I spilled some tea on my shirt today
I have a new tea-shirt now.
My brother said he would gift me either a short sleeved shirt or a German sausage.
I hope for the vest but expecting the wurst.
I bought a new shirt today that has the word LIFE printed across the chest
Tomorrow, I’m going to wear it and stand on the corner at an intersection where panhandlers usually are. My plan is to hand out lemons to stopped drivers. When life gives you lemons ...
I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...
One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!
If my name was Travis, I would get a tee shirt and put my name across the chest.
My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
My 5 y.o. son walked up to me with his under armour shirt on backwards so the words were on the back.
He said, “I got back words!” How did I not see that one coming?
At the store, my daughter found a shirt she liked on clearance. My wife asked her how much it cost.
I said "well, she just dropped it, so I'm gonna guess it's floor dollars."
My daughter actually gave me a fist bump for that one, which she now denies doing.
Why did the blouse break up with the t-shirt?
Because he didn’t collar.
They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.
Turns out they're mediums.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
