How do you make any boat a hat?

You flip it over and it becomes capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What happens when you put a cowboy hat on an Audi?

It becomes a Haudi

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Getremtm8951
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...

One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsfull
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harami_nobita
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
Today I couldn’t take my hat off.

I guess you could say it was in caps lock.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DashMasterYT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrishelbert
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 220
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Hulk hat
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyitsTonyStark
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I really hat that you can't edit your title

What if I make a spelling mistake?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Space-But-Blank
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeskiePete
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
What happens when you drop a red hat in a blue ocean?

It gets wet

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WiiSexDolphin
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Two hats are sitting on a shelf

One of them says to the other:

You go on a head, I’ll catch up.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bossbubbles881
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were

I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankie_Dankie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
What did the hat rack say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I’ll stay here.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enav1993
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Congress just passed legislation limiting the number of hats an individual may own.

They put a cap on it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
Well I was doing speedy shopping, until I stopped and had hat to break to see this. Quality puns at the mall.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around here, I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 412
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I once saw a little guy with a red pointy hat riding the D.C. subway, listening to some music, tapping his toes perfectly in time with the beat

He was the greatest Metro Gnome ever.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I’ve decided that with my stimulus check I’m going to buy a hat, then a shirt, and lastly some pants.

Top down economic stimulation.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breaking_linus77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
That hat is the tops
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
What kind of snake wears a hard hat?

A boa constuctor

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tennessean4Life
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
Why don’t sailors like buying new hats?

They are afraid of cap sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gntlmnTrey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Two hats are hanging on a hat rack.

One says to the other; "You stay here, I'll go on a head"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

You can go on a head. I’ll just hang around.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/an_demon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

I’m going to hang around here, you go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel for a hat. The bartender asks, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate replies, "Arr, I got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 390
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I dont know why, but i have a deep hatred for hats

No cap

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phljp5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?

Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who wore a hat with an extra long bill. He said it was to protect his nose from the sun. I asked him why is that?

He said....

No one likes a brown nose.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I think think my son is paranoid, he's even wearing a tinfoil hat...

I just can't tell what he's thinking anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HakunaTraumata
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Hats off to this guy
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Garfield_Lover69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the tie say to the hat?

"You go on ahead, and I'll hang around here."

πŸ‘︎ 228
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aceofdarts68
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gearidall_M_Grey
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Hi hat
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casualphantom1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Two female wizards are chatting... the first says to the second, I liked the hat you were wearing last week. The second says...

Witch hat

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clearly-Opaque
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
what did one hat say to the other?

you stay here i'll go on ahead

πŸ‘︎ 278
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blaow666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to another?

You stay here, I'll go on a head!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caravaggio_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
im balding and my girlfriend said I need to wear a hat to cover it up. I told her no and she broke up with me... no cap..
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatoneelijah
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A Hat Trick of Patricks

A while ago a friend was telling me how they named their bike Patrick and that their previous bike was the same color and also named Patrick. I replied "Cool. So if you get one more you'll have a Pat Trick."

(β€’_,β€’)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gravi-tea
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy killed by his own hat?

De-cap-it-ate him.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KohathOrteus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Two hats are hanging on a rack in the hallway,

One hat says to the other, "you wait here, I'll go on a head."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ambidextrousone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CormacN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....

you can hear the OSHA?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaxxisR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It has been a bit of a strange day today... First of all I found a hat full of money in our local High Street,

then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did someone put a party hat on my knee?

They thought it would be funny.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurtleStarDuster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
[OC] Hats off to this legend

This is a true story, I'm relaying it as I heard it yesterday.

Yesterday I was at the Summit Shop of Pike's Peak (14,100 feet in elevation) in Colorado. As I was standing in line to purchase a few things from their cafe, among them some of their 'famous' donuts I heard a dad and son have the conversation below:

Son: "These Donuts look weird."

Dad: "That's because they're high altitude donuts."

S: "How do you know they're high altitude donuts?"

D: "Because we're at a high altitude."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Inarus06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear that they named Canada pulling letters out of a hat?

The person drawing them said, "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My disabled friend said that he invented a Helping Hat.

He should've named it a Handy Cap

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coughdrop1989
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
If your boat sinks, you can use it as a hat

It's capsized

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the101wanderer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the hat rack?

Goodbye for now, I’m leaving on ahead...

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What starts with a "W" and ends with "hat"...
πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do witches not wear a normal hat?

Because there's no point in it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call tin foil hat graduates of the National Secret Honor Society?

The Aluminumati.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to another

Stay here, I’m going on ahead. slaps knee

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealChai1554
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the tie?

β€œYou hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm entering into the world's tightest hat competition

I hope I can pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanglimara19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't they let the hat-fitter on the boat?

He was too excited about cap-sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlienRooster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A magician pulls a calzone out of his hat

"Sorry I only know pizza parlor tricks".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SimJWill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on a head, I’ll hang around here (Sorry if this was already used).

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken with a wand and a hat?

A Ma-chicken!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mafychii
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a cowboy in a brown paper hat, brown paper waistcoat and brown paper pants.

He was wanted for rustling.

More dad jokes at www.keeplaughingforever.com/dad-jokes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Two restless hats are stores in a closest when one says to the other

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tguthrie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all my candy in a hat.

And when a guy tried to take the candy from my hat I said, β€œMy hat my candy”.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Allalovesmemes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
2 puns, 1 post. Resistol (resist all) poison. This type of hat is called a Cattleman, hence the name β€œThe Rattleman”
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The weirdest thing happened today... First I picked up a hat with money in it

Then I got chased by a guy with a guitar!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaLimitless
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the pair of underwear?

You stay behind, I’ll go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the bra say to the hat

You go on a head. I’ve gotta give these two a lift.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gusthemouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of hats do beers wear?

Bottle caps

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Cowboy hats are so β€œwell rounded”
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcleland1992
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?

You just turn it over and it's capsized

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TehSniper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What starts with 'w' and ends with 'hat'

.

πŸ‘︎ 995
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waccsadac
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad would always tell me that, if my canoe flipped over, I could just use it as a hat...

because it's capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cross_beaux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that any boat can be used as a hat.

You just need to turn it upside down, because it becomes capsized

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Donktwat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss came in wearing his golf hat.

What a super visor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdvantaJeous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Can you help Dad figure out where he lost his hat?

It’s a real head-scratcher.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When I found out a coworker has four step kids and one biological kid, I said "Hats off to you" . . . .

He replied, "No. Hats on. Hats on now."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BoredPony
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I simply had to purchase the new hat of matted wool!

It felt great!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Hat to sit there
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Egg_Fuck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the bra say to the hat?

I'll hold these two up, you go on ahead.

My friends 90 something year old grandmother got her with this today.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scooter90
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2016
🚨︎ report
Two hats are hanging on a hat rack. One says to the other: you stay here

I'll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tacoenthusiast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?

Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RottenMind62
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/El-Cabezon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the bra say to the hat?

"You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift."

πŸ‘︎ 341
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you turn a boat into a hat?

Just turn it over, and now it's capsized!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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