One hat says to the other,

"You wait here, I’ll go on a head."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I’ll just hang around for a bit.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucas_sc94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Decorated for Christmas with puns and tiny hats reddit.com/gallery/kkha7r
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgpostbox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a white hat dropped into the Red Sea become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irishlamb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.

I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MostWheatyOne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Computer: choose a password. Me: hi-hat

Computer: password cannot contain symbols

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I’ll go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mystyry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat on a train saying "tick tick tick"?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arirr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?

A slow cooker.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EpisodicDoleWhip
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sad hat?

A somber-ero

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats...

It really toque me by surprise!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
2 hats

2 hats are hanging out at the coat rack at a popular restaurant. 1 says to the other. " you should hang out. I'm gonna go on a head. "

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.

Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to another hat?

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooAvocados7098
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?

He was cap-sized.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad Tells Time With His Hat

My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.

He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.

And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.

My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredzred
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the jealous bowler hat say to the cowboy hat?

I’m brimming with disdain for you

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpinJaccFlash
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Almost all garden gnomes have red hats

It’s a little gnome fact

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thornkale
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndgrounds
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
but we hat a test
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsiganology
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My hat told me he was leaving me

I said go on ahead

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.

I’m not afraid to brave the elements.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
wish I had that hat
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thicckar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Who does the Cat in the Hat call when his back hurts?

A maSeuss.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a hat?

He had a bounty on his head.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just entered the neighborhoods tightest hat contest..

..hope I pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make any boat a hat?

You flip it over and it becomes capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...

One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsfull
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you put a cowboy hat on an Audi?

It becomes a Haudi

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Getremtm8951
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the bra?

You pick up those two and I'll go on ahead later.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeResidence
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harami_nobita
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Hulk hat
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyitsTonyStark
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do magicians wear top hats?

So the audience can't see their hare!!!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around here, I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 405
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I couldn’t take my hat off.

I guess you could say it was in caps lock.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DashMasterYT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrishelbert
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you drop a red hat in a blue ocean?

It gets wet

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WiiSexDolphin
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I really hat that you can't edit your title

What if I make a spelling mistake?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Space-But-Blank
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I was doing speedy shopping, until I stopped and had hat to break to see this. Quality puns at the mall.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeskiePete
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were

I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankie_Dankie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?

Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
That hat is the tops
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Two hats are sitting on a shelf

One of them says to the other:

You go on a head, I’ll catch up.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bossbubbles881
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hat rack say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I’ll stay here.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enav1993
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of snake wears a hard hat?

A boa constuctor

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tennessean4Life
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 217
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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