If fedoras got paid a living wage...

they'd wouldn't have to rely on tips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gormiti100
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
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What if mosquitoes wore fedoras

Mosquito tips fedora "M'laria"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brinc95
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Why couldn't the fedora-clad snowman find a date?

He's too much of an ice guy.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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I hope I don't get banned from Reddit if I were to start subs related to toboggans, fedoras, beanies, caps, visors, sombreros, etc.

Because then I'd be promoting hat groups.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Did you hear about the emergency surgery to remove a neckbeard, scarf and fedora?

Doctors were pleased to announce the first ever successful hipsterectomy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OttawaCharlie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Saw a baby wearing a fedora...

Told my fiancΓ© I thought it was... fedorable. The groan was so bad, she hit me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pkiff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2015
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What do men with fedoras call female postal carriers?

Mail ladies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Csikszent
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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What does the fedora rely on to make ends meet?

Tips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gormiti100
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
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Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?

Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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I need Fedora puns.

I want to compile a list of fedora puns. I thought maybe you guys could help.

The list so far:

  • Fedora the Explorer

  • Fedoral Sex

  • Fedorable

  • Fedoration

  • Fedoral Offense

If you have any that aren't on the list, please comment with them! Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyboth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
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