Orthodox Judaism Puns

Ok, so you may ask how can OP say this, well cause I was raised in it. Your parents and rabbis try to keep you away from outside contact (internet, non-Jewish friends etc.) The more orthodox they get the worse the education is which makes it harder to get a job outside the community once you're older. They tell you everyone else is bad and out to concert you to their beliefs. Once you decide you dont believe you can go for years without telling anybody out of fear. If you tell your parents that you dont believe in a majority of cases in the extreme orthodox community you will be abused by your parents, this includes physical abuse. You are treated horribly by your parents but still in many cases are forced to go to a religious school so you dont ruin the family's reputation. Once you turn 18 you are abandoned and alone in a world which you weren't allowed to see your whole life. No money and a bad education make it harder to get a good job. It's a cult man, it is.

Edit: they make you scared of leaving and treat the ones who leave like they have died. Watch unorthodox if you want to learn more about it

I'm looking for essentially an in-depth exposition of the spectrum of orthodox Judaism, from the American-style "Modern Orthodoxy" through the various groupings of Haredim, and in grand terms what the differences in belief and practice are.

As a goy with Jewish ancestors (to be specific, my mother's mother was Jewish, but my mother no longer, therefore I am not either, if I understand the grand consensus of Talmudic law around this), working with devout Jewish colleagues who very much follow the halakha, I find myself fascinated with Judaic orthodoxy.

I come from a Christian background and am trying to better understand the Tanakh and how the creator is normally seen within Orthodox and Conservative Judaism.

Edit: Perhaps I should include an explanation of why I'm asking this. I've been reading about Judaism for the past two years or so (though my knowledge is a random assortment of stuff and I'm sure there's a lot of really important stuff that I don't know). At first I couldn't attend synagogue because my job required me to work one weekend day and my dad wouldn't let me work on Sundays. (I live with him.) The one day when I WAS able to get Saturday off (my friend's mom died and her memorial service was on a Saturday), I visited a Conservative synagogue because that was what I was interested in at the time. I visited a few Reform synagogues around that time as well, but only because they had their main service on Friday night instead of Saturday morning. Then the pandemic happened. I didn't have to work on Saturdays anymore, but nobody was having in-person services. Then the synagogues started having in-person services again, but I didn't have anything appropriate to wear and everything modest I could find in stores with open fitting rooms was super weird. It only just got cool enough that I can wear the outfit I already have that's sufficiently modest but includes a cardigan (and the cardigan isn't optional). So I've been to the local Modern Orthodox synagogue twice. Assuming that attending said synagogue doesn't lead to me deciding that I don't want to convert after all, I figured I would ask the rabbi about conversion as soon as I'm financially able to convert (I make just barely enough to live within walking distance of the synagogue without roommates and I don't have enough money saved to move because I spent most of my savings on my very own car earlier this year and I suck at budgeting but I'm working on it), which will be AT LEAST several months from now, probably longer. I mentioned this to my dad, and he was kinda freaked out and thinks I'm rushing into this. He says I need to spend years attending synagogue before I even begin the conversion process. He didn't change his opinion even after I explained that conversion takes YEARS. I'm not sure if he's right, if this is just a result of him being against me expressing even an intellectual interest in any religion other than Christianity, or a combination of the two, so I figured I'd see how long other people spent learning and attending synagogue before actually beginning the conversion process.

Just curious. I wasn't raised religious but very drawn to orthodox and wanted to clarify above. I'm jewish on both sides but no jewish education at all as a child.

Had a quick glance over the posts in this subreddit and seems like a good and accepting clearinghouse for thinking for people from all over the Jewish denominational spectrum - and beyond it.

I guess a tiny bit of context is probably necessary here. Grew up in Ireland. Minuscule Jewish community. Did Birthright as a teenager. Began to feel "connected" and like Israel was the obvious place to be. Made aliyah six years ago (or so).

Observant? Somewhat. I keep kosher. Put on tefilin every morning. Drop into my local synagogue a couple of times a week. Grew up in a classic Ashkenazi family but always found Sephardic Judaism way more appealing. I feel like their interpretation of Judaism is much more real and fluid. It kind of defines the way I practice it: pretty classically Orthodox in most opinions. But not necessarily super "frum" (true story: I'm not a fan of Yiddish). Much more concerned with spirituality than external manifestations of it.

So I basically made aliyah from a place with about 4 Jews to the world epicenter of Judaism (Jerusalem). LOL. There's been a lot to take in. And a few hesitations have naturally emerged.

Some thoughts about the mainstream Orthodox "fold" here:

Orthodoxy in Israel is pretty heterogeneous

I know that judging people by their external appearance is wrong, but I find there's something vaguely offputting about the conformity within all the various mainstream "brackets" here in Israel.

There seem to be two Shabbat uniforms in Jerusalem: chinos and a white shirt (what's with religious Israelis and white shirts!!?!?). And black and white. Dati Leumi and the more Ashkenazi varieties. You're one or the other. Or chiloni.

I feel weird walking into my local beit kneset without a kippah because it marks me out as not being "really" religious (I've never worn one day to day). Or wearing a blue rather than white shirt on Shabbat.

It can also be kind of a judgmental space

This paragraph tripped up the automod.

I'm guessing because of the no politics rule (rule 8). So I'll have to reword this a little awkwardly.

Which is actually extremely ironic because that was basically the point I was trying to get across.

I don't understand why being religious here (in Israel) seems to involve adopting a certain leaning in that respect.

That leaning is pretty much to the right.

Very much into the nation (-alistic).

Sometimes there is open intolerance on show towards .. various demographics in the country but especially one t

Hi everyone! I’m 19f and have been thinking about converting to Judaism for 5 years. I don’t want any questions about the legitimacy of my conversion in the future. I want to practice Modern Orthodoxy. Would I convert through a modern orthodox rabbi or could I just convert to regular old Orthodox Judaism. Let me know!

I have great respect for Orthodox Judaism. This is in no way to want to disrespect or start a hate train against Orthodox Jews.

Throwaway account because I don't want to risk this post's mere existence interfering with conversion.

I want to convert to Modern Orthodox Judaism, as opposed to Conservative Judaism, because I believe that G-d gave the Torah to Moses at Mount Sinai, I don't think it's okay to throw out any laws that came from G-d, and I don't want to be the most observant person in my community. But there's one thing that really, really bothers me: kol isha. I strongly disagree with the idea that a woman's singing voice is inherently sexual. I know it seems like a minor thing, but I'm a woman who loves to sing, so it isn't minor to me. I'm cool with not singing in front of men who believe that they shouldn't hear women sing because I think it's important to respect other people's beliefs. I'm also cool with never singing in front of men who are praying or studying Torah. But I'm not okay with never being able to sing solo in the presence of men again. I read that there's one opinion in the Talmud that says that men just can't hear women sing while they're praying, and that there are Orthodox rabbis today who think that it's fine for a woman to sing in front of men as long as she's dressed modestly, she isn't singing in a seductive manner, and the lyrics aren't inappropriate. I agree with them. Could my opinion on this matter prevent me from being able to convert? If the local Orthodox rabbi has a problem with it, can I move and find an Orthodox rabbi who believes it's okay for women to sing in front of men to sponsor my conversion instead, or would that put me at risk of having my conversion annulled? I actually like dressing modestly. I don't mind the laws of family purity. I want to observe Shabbat. I'm totally fine with keeping kosher, even though it will make Thanksgiving dinner with my family awkward. I can even live with never hugging or being alone with my best friend again. (My best friend is a guy.) But kol isha really bothers me.

So I’m currently in an argument with my auntie who is strict modern orthodox ( I’m very much a cultural Jewish only) and we were talking about what percent of ultra orthodox go otd, she says it’s about 1% but I think she is way underestimating it any help would be useful as I really hate losing argument. ( preferably talking about Israel rather than the US as that’s we currently are)

I know that dating/marrying a gentile is not allowed according to the Orthodox denomination. However, I always figured this was because of the emphasis placed on raising children in a proper Jewish home, with all observed rituals and traditions.

But what happens if the couple flat out doesn't want children? Or what happens if the couple cannot have children due to medical/biological reasons?

And what do other denominations have to say on the subject?

I have been listening to Jewish counter missionaries and they say that there is hardly any Orthodox Jews who were knowledgeable in the teaching that become Messianics.

I am just wondering if anyone here happens to be an ex orthodox Jew.

I often hear scholars speak about proto-Orthodox Christianity in the context of the development of early Christianity, but could the same be said of Judaism following the destruction of the Temple? Was "Rabbinic Judaism" the "proto-Orthodox Judaism" that developed in relation, and won out, against the various other Judaisms? And if so, what did these other Judaisms look like? For example: The non proto-Orthodox Christians were groups like the Valentinians, Marcionites, Ebionites, and so on. Were there any groups like these within Judaism?

Is there anything that would exclude someone from receiving an honor at a Bris? For example, our orthodox rabbi told us that only someone who is shomrei shabbos could sign our ketubah. Our close families and friends are secular, and so we had no one to sign. The rabbi and cantor ended up signing it for us. Is there anything like this for a bris?

Examples:

Changing the Immutable : How Orthodox Judaism Rewrites Its History

The Limits of Orthodox Theology

I apologize for annoying this sub again with slightly differing phrasing of the same question, it must get tiring to keep responding, but I am writing a very long essay on the relationship between my own faith (Judaism) and the other abrahamic religions and how they have historically interacted with and perceived each other and this question is something I will need a definitive yes or no answer on if I am to continue. Does Christianity in it's apostolic form maintain that Jews observing torah based commandments such as shabbos or kashrus have any merit in the eyes of the Christian conception of G-d? The reason I have kept posing this seemingly obvious question, is that the general sentiment of pre-modern Christians as can be found in the writings and personal habits of Paul, as well as the council of Florence and Nicea, and the popular Christian perception of Judaism at the time, in response to Judaizing heresy seems to be definitively supersessionist in the most explicit way possible; evident through the writings of Thomas Aquinas and other Christian scholars such as Ephrem the Syrian and the forced conversions of Jews in primarily Orthodox nations Nicholas I's reign and various periods through the history of Ethiopia (don't think that I harbor ill will to any of you for this, it's not like you as a person are responsible for what happened).

I was able to conclusively affirm that this was an almost universally held opinion among Christians with this statement from the fifteenth century: "It firmly believes, professes and teaches that the legal prescriptions of the old Testament or the Mosaic law, which are divided into ceremonies, holy sacrifices and sacraments, because they were instituted to signify something in the future, although they were adequate for the divine cult of that age, once our lord Jesus Christ who was signified by them had come, came to an end and the sacraments of the new Testament had their beginning. Whoever, after the passion, places his hope in the legal prescriptions and submits himself to them as necessary for salvation and as if faith in Christ without them could not save, sins mortally. It does not deny that from Christ’s passion until the promulgation of the gospel they could have been retained, provided they were in no way believed to be necessary for salvation. But it asserts that after the promulgation of the gospel they cannot be observed without loss of eternal salvation. **Therefore it denounces all who after t

Between Orthodox and Hasidic Judaism, which is closer to literal interpretation of the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament/Torah?

Hi, I am a reform jew from Milan. I have been recently studying more types of Jewish branches and their beliefs. At my temple I have two rabbis a male and female. They’re both great. My male rabbi loves video games and my female rabbi loves video games. I recently found out about the “purity laws” how a man can’t touch or sleep with a woman who is on her period. I was shocked to find this out l, I found it different. (The niddah) I have a partner and him and I have always touched and sleep together when I’m on my period, it’s natural and not that big of a deal to us. (He’s not Jewish) I spoke to my female rabbi and she said “this is Reform Judaism, we see those laws as out dated”. I spoke to some of my female Jewish friends who go to same temple and they said that they still touch and sleep with their male partners during that time. (Some of their male partners are Jews too) I have heard some other law been talked about during services by both of my rabbis as “out dated” hearing some of the laws I was shocked to find out they have exist. My question is: what are some of the main differences you notice or heard between different types of Judaism? What kind of Jewish traditions are your favourites?

Shalom to everybody!

Hello all,

I'm Jewish and I mean this as a friendly question - I have no interest in converting to Orthodox Christianity and certainly no interest in converting any of you out of it.

I was reading about the use of icons in Orthodox worship. I understand it's not idolatry, that the icon essentially functions as a material aid to focus the prayer toward G!d. That's neat, and the icons are often transcendently beautiful in a totally striking way. I think Orthodox Christians should be very proud of your wonderful tradition.

My question is: considering that Orthodox Christians see themselves as an extension/continuation/fulfillment of Judaism as it was practiced in the days of Abraham through John the Baptist, how do Orthodox Christians account for the aniconism which has been present in Judaism for, to my knowledge, its entire lifetime?

The reason I am so fascinated by your icons is that Jews do nothing like this - we simply do not produce sacred art of our prophets to aid us in worship. To the best of our knowledge, we have never done this, corresponding to our Bible's absolutely vicious and instant anti-idolatry, which produced a strong tendency against sacred art of human beings and animals.

I can think of a few different Orthodox responses here:

1. Jewish civilization during and before the Second Temple period did use icons. Jews stopped using icons as an adaptation to the loss of the Second Temple, Pharisee political rule, or some other historical development, but icons were a natural part of ancient Jewish worship in basically the way Orthodox Christians use them now.

2. Jewish civilization before and during the Second Temple period did not use icons, but the incarnation and works of Jesus as the Messiah changed the law and proper forms of worship, making icons kosher or even critical to salvation.

3. Icons were not used by Jews before Jesus or by Christians immediately afterwards; they were a practice that developed within Orthodox Christianity over time for reasons of culture, geography, and theology which can basically be understood sociologically. Jews were doing their own thing and either didn't pay attention to this new practice or didn't like it.

I'm sure that's not all the options, I just tried to think through all the answers I could think of. I'm pretty sure it's #3 but could be #2 - I don't think it's #1. Jewish aniconism throughout the ages is pretty well-documented. People might point to the Dura-Europos synagogue, a beautifu

In 988, Vladimir ordered representatives of Islam, Judaism, Catholicism and Orthodoxy to make their case as to why theirs should be the official religion of Kievan Rus'.

While Vladimir ruled out Islam because he didn't want to outlaw alcohol and rejected Catholocism because he viewed it as aesthetically unpleasing, he also rejected Judaism due to the fact that no countries at that time practiced Judaism as their official religion.

What if instead, Vladimir had chosen Judaism as the official religion of Kievan Rus', becoming the only state at that time to be officially Jewish?

I am brainstorming for a master’s thesis for my experimental psychology program, and the general area I am interested in is mental health disparities in the Orthodox Jewish, or OTD community. What are some topics that interest you? What have you read? Is there any particular pathology that you wonder if either Orthodox Jews or OTD Jews are at higher or lower risk for?

Aside from minor regional/ethnic differences in practice (like Ashkenazi and Sephardic traditions today), has rabbinic Judaism been relatively stable in practice for the "everyday" Jew since the destruction of the 2nd Temple through what we currently refer to as "orthodox" Judaism? Were there any schisms within Rabbinic Judaism akin to the relatively recent reform and conservative? I suppose the question comes down to whether there would even be a term "orthodox" if it weren't for those recent 19th/20th century movements or whether it would just be recognized as "Judaism" prior to that--and whether a Jew from perhaps the 10th or even 15th century would notice any huge difference living in an orthodox community today and whether that same Jew would be shocked that any other Jews live differently as Reform, conservative, etc.

Hello! I am an incredibly naive grad student living in Arizona. My fiance and I live in a house and we make an effort to keep good relations with our neighbors. We have a large Orthodox Jewish community that lives near us and we were wondering if it is okay to bake cookies for them. They usually say hello to me (I am Mexican-American) but never say hello to my fiance (she is Caucasian). Should I be the one to deliver them or should we go together? Sorry if this is a dumb question.

Forgive me if this is the wrong sub-reddit. If it is, i would appreciate a pointer in the right direction. I'm an atheist that was raised catholic, but i study history and i find the history of Judaism very interesting. I know that some domination's of Judaism are more lenient in modern times, but in medieval times (vaguely speaking, the period that interests me ranges from 900-1300 ad), was their ever a way in which a man who was born and raised by another religion to have his children be considered 'real' Jews by the rest of the orthodox community, or was this something that only became accepted when genealogy was hard to prove. Was it possible to marry into the religion or was this exclusive to the descendants of the original population of Israel?

edit:

Thankyou for the detailed responses. I seemed to have been misinformed in my assumptions. I apologise to anyone i might have offended in asking the question.