A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

πŸ‘︎ 29k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Santa’s religion?

He’s eggnogstic

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/my-pp-el-fuego
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religion that worships cannonballs?

Some might say it doesn’t exist so it isn’t canon in history, but if it existed, it would be called.....

Cannibalism

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anormalpersonno8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Praying mantises don't all follow the same religion.

They're in sects.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeoplesHero87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when a mix of religions go to Mecca?

You get a hajjpodge

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/takemytwixbyforce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a warning message from a mod saying β€œmy jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this sub”

I replied saying β€œlet the people in this sub decide, for christ sake”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Is anyone interested in my religion that worships pinto beans?

We believe they're holy frijoles!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I denounce that barbers religion

It's hairesy

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashnakag3019
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If math was a religion...

...I think it would be pretty easy to sin.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Justin2019
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't you bring up politics or religion around pirates?

Because they love to arrr-gue and never sea eye-to-eye(patch)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Batman when he stops doing religion?

Christian Bale

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Knockoff_Sans
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What religion is Lightning McQueen?

raceism

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Macknificent101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the international religion of economics

"Dowism."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My Indian friend keeps trying to get me to convert to his religion and it's starting to work...

It's Sikh-ening.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If you die for your religion in a really stupid way ...

... is that Martyrdum?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the economic religion?

Dowism.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Losing my religion
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my cat what religion he is

Response: catlick

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/miguel_de_prision
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Religion is like a swimming pool.

Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I wonder why they tell you your cashier's religion on the receipt? imgur.com/gqAIMnr
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthEwok42
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
In some religions, dividing the opposite side by the hypotenuse is a sin
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam-P-D
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the only religion with a diet?

The Episcopaleo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iiWizrius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A Saudi Arabian captain was warming up his ships engines before heading out on patrol, when the religion police came and arrested him and his crew...

They were charged with "Idle Warship".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cry2Laugh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My religion prevents me from throwing out old clothing.

We have been called to be holy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Never expected to get rich when I started making statues of divine beings in religions

But I am making prophets.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
As less and less people are buying into religion, prophets are down.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoshForce
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The only religion I support
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dankblazerrr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I changed my religion to follow the teachings of St. Francis, my dad was not pleased

He said 'no son of mine is going to be assisi!'

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scamperillium
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I created my own religion

It's a cult classic

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/No_life_I_Lead
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
As part of my new religion, gluttony shall be given a penance of crunches.

Finally sinners will achieve absolution.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networks…For some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly you’re a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal

Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What religion do most llamas practice?

Isllama!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soggiestwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The thief that stole my diary and my book on world religions died today.

My thoughts and prayers are now with his family.

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a ghosts religion?

Boo-dist

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/niggety
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
7 day Adventist is the β€˜weekest’ of all organized religions
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I guess one could call Atheism a non-prophet religion
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvonweezil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently found out I was gay and changed my religion.

I moved to Utah and converted to Moremen.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What religion is Chewbacca?

He is Chew-ish!

(Took this from a friend)

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I recently converted religions and I'll be taking off April 14th in observation of Vaisakhi

I guess that means I'm calling in Sikh.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What religion do cats follow?

CATholicism

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guntanis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
why are religions holy?

Because every story is filled with plot holes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beast5534
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2016
🚨︎ report
What type of religion will future colonies on the moon follow?

I'm not sure, but it definitely will be Moonotheisitic

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Some religions can be dangerous..

always practice safe sects.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electricity1028
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2012
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religion based around toothpaste?

Crest-ianity.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobjuita
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.