He kept things pretty low key.
Is it with a match made in Heaven ?
...but when I do, it's all about dead Pan delivery.
Instead of the typical "last year" jokes after midnight, he completely confused my mom by talking about "last month."
"We brought those over last month."
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
He said, “who, ra?”
Husband: You said we needed a baby monitor!!
I thought he said trains and I missed mine
When he was handing out noses
I thought he said roses so I asked for a big red one
and he gave it me too
When he was handing out willies
I thought he said chillies
So I asked for a small hot one
Please add more below.......................
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
I agreed with him and told him it was probably because of something he did.
They have to pull over and wait for Anubis.
Je suis christ
Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”
“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.
“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.
“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.
A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”
“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.
Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”
“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”
“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.
And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”
Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.
I keep it Loki.
But John came in fifth and only got a toaster.
Man, I'm thor.
Otherwise boobies would be pointless
I said, “I know. I think that’s how soccer works.”
... Would he be called Thaw?
He drew praise for his artwork.
Let there be cake!
Thou shalt not COVID thy neighbor's wife.
He was Thor.
Especially next to a pile of mashed potatoes.
Because he was the body builder.
They acts like they don’t exist until they want something.