When a Muslim dies, they meet their Mecca.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a drunken Muslim?

Mohammered.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nearly-God
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is the English weather like a Muslim (not racist)

Because its either sunni or shi'ite

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sentinel_UK
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is Dwayne Johnson's head revered by the Muslim faith?

Because it's the Dome of the Rock.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spudquake
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a Muslim close the door?

Islams it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 63
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/33Fanste33
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do most Muslims like their eggs?

Sunni side up.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ZeldaFan158
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Ramadan is starting today. To all my Muslim friends who are observing this holy month, I have one thing to say.

Lunch is on me.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 465
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who does a Muslim ask when he forgets about the greatest Mughal Emperor?

#Allah-Who-Akbar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/siddharths067
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
85% of Muslims prefer their eggs Sunni side up.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gluecksschwuemmli
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a 13 year old muslim stuck in self isolation?

A Qur'anteen

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/amethhead
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
People say that muslims are very angry

Because of their short fuse.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Wornsy21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a small Mexican Muslim?

MOSQUITO

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BrotherTausil
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Where do midget Mexican muslims go to pray?

In the Mosquito

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LongBakunawa
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Snow isnโ€™t a problem in Muslim countries...

... but ISIS

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wedgewizard
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheMatrix1101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My Muslim friend starts eating much junk food.

Now he is just Mu.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mighty__Tor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are the Muslim flies angry at each other?

Cause they're in sects.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
To all the Muslims out there

Let the hunger games begin

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/deathblade66
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Growing up I went to an all-Muslim school. The teacher asked me to make sure that my classmates weren't sneaking bacon at lunch.

I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/unklethan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Where do you put a Muslim with Coronavirus?

In Qur'antine!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hatpar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
what do you call a muslim pop band ?

quran quran

๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigheadedshrimp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I heard some Muslims in Ecuador got malaria

They were bitten by mosque-Quitos

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PopeShashcan49
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My Muslim friend's opticians closed down recently as it wasn't doing well

It was silly of him to call it Asif Eyecare

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GaryTheKnight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Where do Muslim llamas come from?

Alpacastan! ...I'm not sorry.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 85
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SamTMartian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call Muslim chili peppers?

Halalapenos

๐Ÿ‘︎ 40
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/w00tah
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I know Muslims donโ€™t eat pork.

But Islam ok though?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 137
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
3 Muslim women walk into Hungry Jacks

One is dressed entirely in bright pink, another neon green, and another in gorgeous gold.

A man ordering food at the counter notices them and asks the employee why they are wearing such bright colours, to which the employee responds:

"The burkas are better at Hungry Jack's"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kie723
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A Muslim woman wanted to fuck a gorilla. Her husband objected and said...

"That's Haram, bae."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 262
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anjelloe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dad is an older muslim gentleman, I remember this from when he was in the hospital a few years ago.

Nurse: "Your doctor should return in just a few moments with your test results."

looks at dad

"Oh, we also have a new room for religious practices if you wanted to do some prayers?"

Dad: "God, were my test results that bad?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sumito
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just saw a Muslim riding a skateboard

Thought that was pretty sikh!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrSmoogeh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whenever my Muslim roommate goes for prayer, I sit down next to him with some apple pie and ice cream.

So that both of us are in A la mode.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the Muslim get a speeding ticket during Ramadan?

He was going to fast

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cmon_Just_The_Tip
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you greet at Muslim cured meats butcher ?

a-salami-maker

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chexmp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whenever my Muslim friend goes to pray, I usually join him with some apple pie and ice cream.

So that both of us are in a la mode.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 85
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is Sonic the Hedgehog a good, god-fearing Muslim?

Every ramadan, he's like "gotta go fast!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dagusiu
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a Muslim close a door?

Islams it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ryanxdxdxd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a muslim close a door?

Islams it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AdamNDnD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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