85% of Muslims prefer their eggs Sunni side up.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gluecksschwuemmli
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
An imam walks into a mosque and says "This must be a Sunni mosque"

"No Shiite"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bb-m
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
what is the difference between the Shias and the Sunni?

Its a clerical error

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
It's easy to understand the philosophical differences between Sunni and Shia...

...One believes that Abu Bakr was the true successor to the prophet Muhammad. The other believes he did a good job acting in the Transformers movies. An easy point of contention to be sure.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klingers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Whats the name of a crime series filmed on a sunny japanese island?

Kawaii five-o

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcarrot9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They would crack eachother up

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bon-Echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Why is the English weather like a Muslim (not racist)

Because its either sunni or shi'ite

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sentinel_UK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Eulogy of an egg

He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainBoomerang1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Looks like this chicken likes her eggs sunny side up
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sine_nomine1859
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.

I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do most Muslims like their eggs?

Sunni side up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeldaFan158
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Painting a Church

A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.

He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?

Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

Dunno, they're just a bit shady.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Trucker's Breakfast

A trucker came intoΒ  a Truck Stop CafΓ© and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said.Β  "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"

"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrBobShelton_74
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My kids said I need to stop with the egg jokes, because they’re not funny.

Yolk’s on them, I crack myself up!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tehmayormccheese
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone talks about Saudi's expensive tastes

And Shia's cheap thrills

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a tree do when it’s hot and sunny?

It throws shade.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ERMAHDERD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
People with umbrellas on a sunny day,

Are up to something shady

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fire_Nuke
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Sunny Side Up!
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rosullie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was driving with my daughter on a beautiful sunny day this winter and I said "I can't believe how poor the visibility is."

She said, "What do you mean? It's perfectly clear." Pointing down I said, "I can only see four feet in front of us."

Got a pretty good groan out of that one...

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebigsexy1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
It's always Sunny in India
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arpan8
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Who is Shia LaBeouf’s mortal enemy?

Sunni LaBeouf

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WaddleD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most popular gaming console in the arab world

The Sunni Playstation

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evilhomers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Pie Chart Of Egypt imgur.com/8Pn0UHC
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JD762
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Me: <receives phone notification> "Ooh, it's supposed to start raining in 2 minutes"

Wife: "It's sunny outside"

Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michaellasalle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the egg cross the road?

To get to the sunny side.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog has a glow-in-the-dark tennis ball

We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Working valet on this nice sunny day and I walked right into this...

I returned to my booth from parking a car and asked the captain if I missed anything. Today has been fairly slow so he tells me that I missed the sun moving about 2 degrees across the sky. Then he says, "It was the highlight of his day."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scaledwurm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Sunny beaches!

So I'm talking with my fiance last night about our vacation a year ago. Me: You know the jar on the shelf in the hall. My beach in a jar. It's special it's made and not bought. Like we found all the stuff on the beach. Him: You can buy a beach in a jar but you won't have much fun with her.

Groans were had.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigbootiehottie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
🚨︎ report
I'm moving away to university on an unusually sunny morning, and Dad is driving me.

The light is beaming into my eyes. "Woah, it's so bright..", I remark.

"It's the future!"

"... What, Dad?"

"It's the future, Ermen, it's so bright!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ermen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
🚨︎ report
It was the first sunny day in what felt like forever...

Brother: Thank god, finally, I thought I was going to die without the 'sun.'

Dad: look of defeat on his face, proceeds to look at my brother

I wish I could say the same.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ozaw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2013
🚨︎ report
I don’t trust those trees...

They seem kinda shady

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordy_life
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"

Sunni and Shia

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pastad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the Iranian prisoners escape the capital? Tehran away.

I know what you're thinking, "Oman, that joke was Shiite, can't you joke about Sunni else?" I could, or you Kuwait until I'm finished. Do I have more? Yemen, but Israeli not that many. I write them down though... I store them in Iraq. Or for transport I store them I'm my bag, Dad. (Pretend you're my dad.)

Edit: Minor detail (Quatar you doing, man!)

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
🚨︎ report
That was Egg-celent, Dad

We were having a conversation with our family about cooking, and my dad just casually said to my sister (who’s birthday it is tomorrow:) Hey how do you like your eggs?

Sis: well if you’re talking about breakfast I like them sunny side up! Dad: Oh, well I like them in cake.

I instantly cracked up, and everyone else took a minute. It must be because I’m in culinary school.
I love you dad.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGorilla54
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A man recently immigrated to a new land were he doesn’t speak the language. His fellow workers take him to lunch everyday. One of them teaches him to order Apple Pie and Coffee for himself. For weeks, this is all he orders.

Morning, Apple Pie and Coffee. Noon, Apple Pie and Coffee. Night, Apple Pie and Coffee. Getting tired of this same meal, he asks his coworkers to teach him a new dish to order. He learns Steak and Eggs.

Waitress: Hiya hon’, Apple Pie and Coffee as usual?

Man (smiling proudly): Steak and Eggs!

Waitress: Oh! Changing it up to day! How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried? How would you like your steak? Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well? . . . . . .

Man: ... Apple Pie and Coffee.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ObiOneToo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Some people don't like puns...

and what I tell them is to turn that frown SUNNY SIDE UPside down.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Traditional_Sleep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

Dunno, they're just a bit shady.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UnityEx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

Dunno, they're just a bit shady.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

Dunno, they're just a bit shady.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.