"No Shiite"
Its a clerical error
...One believes that Abu Bakr was the true successor to the prophet Muhammad. The other believes he did a good job acting in the Transformers movies. An easy point of contention to be sure.
Kawaii five-o
They would crack eachother up
Because its either sunni or shi'ite
RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".
After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.
One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars
"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.
He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:
RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.
He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.
He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"
Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
A trucker came intoΒ a Truck Stop CafΓ© and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said.Β "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"
"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
Yolkβs on them, I crack myself up!
And Shia's cheap thrills
It made a good ad visor.
It throws shade.
Are up to something shady
She said, "What do you mean? It's perfectly clear." Pointing down I said, "I can only see four feet in front of us."
Got a pretty good groan out of that one...
Sunni LaBeouf
The Sunni Playstation
Wife: "It's sunny outside"
Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."
To get to the sunny side.
We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.
I returned to my booth from parking a car and asked the captain if I missed anything. Today has been fairly slow so he tells me that I missed the sun moving about 2 degrees across the sky. Then he says, "It was the highlight of his day."
So I'm talking with my fiance last night about our vacation a year ago. Me: You know the jar on the shelf in the hall. My beach in a jar. It's special it's made and not bought. Like we found all the stuff on the beach. Him: You can buy a beach in a jar but you won't have much fun with her.
Groans were had.
The light is beaming into my eyes. "Woah, it's so bright..", I remark.
"It's the future!"
"... What, Dad?"
"It's the future, Ermen, it's so bright!"
Brother: Thank god, finally, I thought I was going to die without the 'sun.'
Dad: look of defeat on his face, proceeds to look at my brother
I wish I could say the same.
They seem kinda shady
Sunni and Shia
I know what you're thinking, "Oman, that joke was Shiite, can't you joke about Sunni else?" I could, or you Kuwait until I'm finished. Do I have more? Yemen, but Israeli not that many. I write them down though... I store them in Iraq. Or for transport I store them I'm my bag, Dad. (Pretend you're my dad.)
Edit: Minor detail (Quatar you doing, man!)
We were having a conversation with our family about cooking, and my dad just casually said to my sister (whoβs birthday it is tomorrow:) Hey how do you like your eggs?
Sis: well if youβre talking about breakfast I like them sunny side up! Dad: Oh, well I like them in cake.
I instantly cracked up, and everyone else took a minute. It must be because Iβm in culinary school.
I love you dad.
Morning, Apple Pie and Coffee. Noon, Apple Pie and Coffee. Night, Apple Pie and Coffee. Getting tired of this same meal, he asks his coworkers to teach him a new dish to order. He learns Steak and Eggs.
Waitress: Hiya honβ, Apple Pie and Coffee as usual?
Man (smiling proudly): Steak and Eggs!
Waitress: Oh! Changing it up to day! How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried? How would you like your steak? Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well? . . . . . .
Man: ... Apple Pie and Coffee.
and what I tell them is to turn that frown SUNNY SIDE UPside down.
Sunni side up.
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
