Religious puns
      
      
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︎ Mar 03 2019
        
       
      
     
      Mike Tyson is a religious guy.
      He punches people in the faith.
 
      
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︎ Jan 09 2021
        
       
      
     
      Did you know bees tend to have unusual religious beliefs?
      That's because they're insects
 
      
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︎ Dec 11 2020
        
       
      
     
      Which dictator is considered a hedonist by most religious practitioners?
      
      
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︎ Dec 23 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Whatβs the majority of cows religious beliefs?
      
      
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︎ Nov 02 2020
        
       
      
     
      What kind of birds are religious?
      
      
        π︎ 9
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 02 2020
        
       
      
     
      I recently watched a documentary on Mike Tyson. I had no idea he was so religious...
      He kept saying he likes to hit people in the FAITH!!!
 
      
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︎ Sep 30 2020
        
       
      
     
      Whats the kinkiest religious building called?
      
      
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︎ Sep 30 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      For religious people, life is a pray-to-win game.
      
      
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︎ Sep 11 2020
        
       
      
     
      What religious positions are open for women?
      
      
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︎ Aug 17 2020
        
       
      
     
      I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...
      
      
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︎ Aug 24 2020
        
       
      
     
      I recently staged an intervention for my religious feline addict.
      Needless to say, he's not a Catholic anymore.
 
      
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︎ Aug 13 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I hired a group of protestant religious sect members to haul my furniture to my new house...
      They were movers and Shakers.
 
      
        π︎ 9
         
        
        
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︎ May 11 2020
        
       
      
     
      What's a religious businessperson's favorite type of business?
      
      
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︎ Apr 08 2020
        
       
      
     
      How did the religious man cross the raging river?
      
      
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︎ Apr 29 2020
        
       
      
     
      I decided to leave my strict, religious Pennsylvanian community to raise ducks. When I told my father, he said "Son, you have a choice"
      You can either be a Quaker, or a Quacker.
 
      
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︎ Apr 15 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Do you know that a religious person should have bagels for breakfast everyday?
      They are as holy as food can get.
 
      
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︎ Mar 13 2020
        
       
      
     
      Do you know what is the most religious chord?
      
      
        π︎ 26
         
        
        
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︎ Oct 07 2019
        
       
      
     
      What do you call a religious cat-lover?
      
      
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︎ Aug 30 2019
        
       
      
     
      What do you call a metal religious woman?
      
      
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︎ Jan 13 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      What do you call a religious hawk?
      
      
        π︎ 40
         
        
        
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︎ Jun 12 2019
        
       
      
     
      Why doesn't Santa have much of a religious opinion during the holidays?
      Due to his diet, he tends to be eggnog-stic
 
      
        π︎ 3
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 22 2019
        
       
      
     
      What did the illiterate guy say when he saw a religious referee on a morning jog?
      
      
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︎ Jan 06 2020
        
       
      
     
      What do you call a religious fruit?
      
      
        π︎ 28
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 05 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I don't drink for religious reasons.
      I drink for completely other reasons.
 
      
        π︎ 22
         
        
        
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︎ Sep 20 2019
        
       
      
     
      What's a surfer's favorite religious book?
      
      
        π︎ 12
         
        
        
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︎ Oct 02 2019
        
       
      
     
      I tried to join a secret religious society, but the requirements were very strict.
      It was called Diffi cult.
 
      
        π︎ 368
         
        
        
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︎ Sep 26 2018
        
       
      
     
      My friend loves fancy cheese so much it's almost religious.
      You might say she has a personal relationship with cheeses.
 
      
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︎ Aug 19 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Who is the most religious animal in the animal kingdom?
      The mantis, because they are always praying.
 
      
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︎ Sep 03 2019
        
       
      
     
      My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.
      She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!
 
      
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︎ Sep 23 2019
        
       
      
     
      When you're not religious but will always throw a party
      
      
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︎ Mar 18 2019
        
       
      
     
      Why are Eagles so religious?
      because theyβre birds of prey
 
      
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
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︎ Jul 15 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      He came out as bi to his religious mother. She went to the Fish and Wildlife Service to ask for help.
      She didn't know how to handle a bison
 
      
        π︎ 3
         
        
        
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︎ Feb 27 2019
        
       
      
     
      I had to fire my Christian guitar tutor. He was too religious. I wanted to learn guitar, but all he kept talking about was
      
      
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︎ Dec 26 2018
        
       
      
     
      How many religious women does it take to change a lightbulb?
      
      
        π︎ 51
         
        
        
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︎ Jul 09 2018
        
       
      
     
      What do you call a religious nomad?
      
      
        π︎ 37
         
        
        
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︎ Jan 01 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Which animal species is the most religious?
      
      
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
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︎ Oct 26 2018
        
       
      
     
      Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism
      Be careful what you witch for
 
      
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︎ Jul 09 2018
        
       
      
     
      My religious mother asked me if the movie we were going to see had either (A) sex or (B) violence in it
      
      
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︎ Apr 24 2019
        
       
      
     
      What do you call a religious grasshopper?
      A preying mantis.
P.S. I proceeded to call myself ingenious after making this while pointing at the jeans I was wearing.
 
      
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 22 2018
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Letβs start a religious fitness training group. We can call it
      
      
        π︎ 39
         
        
        
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︎ Jun 18 2018
        
       
      
     
      My wife is not exactly religiousβ¦
      She thinks Noah was married to Joan of Arkβ¦
 
      
        π︎ 46
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 20 2017
        
       
      
     
      I'm turning my life around and joining a religious order.
      I'm getting out of the frying pan, into the friar!
 
      
        π︎ 16
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 21 2018
        
       
      
     
      I was taking naughty pictures of my ficus plant when my religious friend said...
      "What a photo sin this is!"
 
      
        π︎ 90
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 04 2014
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Which birds are the most religious?
      
      
        π︎ 10
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 02 2019
        
       
      
      
    
    
    
    
    
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