Religious puns
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Mike Tyson is a religious guy.

He punches people in the faith.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Did you know bees tend to have unusual religious beliefs?

That's because they're insects

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danelius90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Which dictator is considered a hedonist by most religious practitioners?

Infidel Castro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blan_Uator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What’s the majority of cows religious beliefs?

Moo-slims

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChubChuz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What kind of birds are religious?

Birds of Pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwkwardUkulele7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I recently watched a documentary on Mike Tyson. I had no idea he was so religious...

He kept saying he likes to hit people in the FAITH!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrojodge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Whats the kinkiest religious building called?

The MOANastery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SendMeNoodPics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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For religious people, life is a pray-to-win game.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NormieLord_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What religious positions are open for women?

Nun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonservia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...

She's nun the wiser!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I recently staged an intervention for my religious feline addict.

Needless to say, he's not a Catholic anymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bballconnor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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I hired a group of protestant religious sect members to haul my furniture to my new house...

They were movers and Shakers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What's a religious businessperson's favorite type of business?

Sole proprietorship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allymeow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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How did the religious man cross the raging river?

He took a leap of faith!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphaboss
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I decided to leave my strict, religious Pennsylvanian community to raise ducks. When I told my father, he said "Son, you have a choice"

You can either be a Quaker, or a Quacker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fischerkidd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Do you know that a religious person should have bagels for breakfast everyday?

They are as holy as food can get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loopystring
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Do you know what is the most religious chord?

Gsus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chokeolattemilk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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What do you call a religious cat-lover?
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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What do you call a metal religious woman?

Aluminun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesybacon250
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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What do you call a religious hawk?

A bird of pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick3797
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Why doesn't Santa have much of a religious opinion during the holidays?

Due to his diet, he tends to be eggnog-stic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pricklydoughball
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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What did the illiterate guy say when he saw a religious referee on a morning jog?

A Ref runned!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schwanz_Hintern64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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What do you call a religious fruit?

A preach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angstyslut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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I don't drink for religious reasons.

I drink for completely other reasons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vonBirckholz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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What's a surfer's favorite religious book?

Duderonomy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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I tried to join a secret religious society, but the requirements were very strict.

It was called Diffi cult.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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My friend loves fancy cheese so much it's almost religious.

You might say she has a personal relationship with cheeses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfDa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Who is the most religious animal in the animal kingdom?

The mantis, because they are always praying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.

She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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When you're not religious but will always throw a party
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queenofmynothing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Why are Eagles so religious?

because they’re birds of prey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adc2502
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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He came out as bi to his religious mother. She went to the Fish and Wildlife Service to ask for help.

She didn't know how to handle a bison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaGmBr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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I had to fire my Christian guitar tutor. He was too religious. I wanted to learn guitar, but all he kept talking about was

G-sus

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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How many religious women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicolaskg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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What do you call a religious nomad?

Roman Catholic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meat-beater-mitch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Which animal species is the most religious?

MONK-eys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bully90
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism

Be careful what you witch for

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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My religious mother asked me if the movie we were going to see had either (A) sex or (B) violence in it

"It's sin A, Ma”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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What do you call a religious grasshopper?

A preying mantis.

P.S. I proceeded to call myself ingenious after making this while pointing at the jeans I was wearing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mukundan_chariar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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Let’s start a religious fitness training group. We can call it

Jehovah’s Fitness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roiroiroiyourboat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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My wife is not exactly religious…

She thinks Noah was married to Joan of Ark…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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I'm turning my life around and joining a religious order.

I'm getting out of the frying pan, into the friar!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kakulu_Mono
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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I was taking naughty pictures of my ficus plant when my religious friend said...

"What a photo sin this is!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dopeghostandy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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Which birds are the most religious?

Birds of prey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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