The power of Christ gives strength to this church's pun game.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 01 2017
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Church mice
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
What did the Italian immigrant say to the priest after he gave him a sanctuary at the church?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
Making church offerings is dangerous for your wallet
Paying tithing just decimates your income
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
Why did the two melons have a church wedding?
π︎ 77
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
What's it called when Batman skips out on Church?
π︎ 99
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
Did you hear about the church musician that lost his instrument?
He was really dis-organ-ized.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
Q: Why was the church happy when the man lost his leg in an explosion?
A: Because he was a blast-femur.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
What's the modern way to donate to the church?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
The only people to show up to my friendβs funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
π︎ 663
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
What church do Palpatine and Vader go to?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
I donβt go to church muchβ¦
But I do drink religiously...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didnβt work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
Why canβt skeletons play church music?
They donβt have any organs.
π︎ 348
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Church near my house
π︎ 63
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Did you hear about the church musician who died suddenly?
Turns out it was organ failure.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Church Alter Ego
This youth pastor is usually very humble, but once he stands on pulpit, he gets proud.
I think itβs his Altar ego
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
A mathematician walks into a church to confess
He says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sined."
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Did you hear about the Dad who spent a full 365 days assembling crèches for Churches ?
It was a Year of Living Mangerously.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
What happens when you fart in church?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.
"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"
"Why?" the boy replied.
"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"
The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
I'll never walk down the hall, outside the church, near the courtyard...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
As a woman who worked for the church this past year, guess how much sex I had?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you call a bulletproof church?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
My one friend told me that even though I decorate the church for the holidays...
I probably shouldn't go around calling myself a proud cross dresser.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
What do you call an advertisement for the Catholic Church?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?
Because they could elope.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
The churches in Las Vegas
Did You Knowβ¦
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.
This is done by the chip monks.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Why did the Japanese brewer take fermented rice to church ?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Painting a Church
A painter is desperate and bids low for a contract to paint the outside of a church. He figures he could still make a profit by adding water to the paint. He wins the contract.
He goes out one sunny day and after a long day's work, he finishes. Thunder cracks and the rain washes away the paint. A voice from the sky booms, "Repaint and thin no more!"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
Itβs quite the CoNunDrum
π︎ 80
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...
***Pew***berty, in other words.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Whst did the church mouse say to the other mice?
Have you accepted cheeses as your lord and saviour?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
The Catholic Church announced it is creating an MMO
Massively Multiprayer Online
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
A former female church member partnered with me in my start up.
She's nun of my business.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
Why don't birds go to church?
Mostly because they shit everywhere...but also because of their their fowl language.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
I wanted to make a joke about churches
π︎ 57
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
Had a large keyboard instrument with pipes that I gave for free to my local church.
Always proud to be an organ donor.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
π︎ 96
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
What happens when you fart in church?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Why can't skeletons play church music?
They don't have any organs.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I went into a church and asked the minister how much it would cost to rent a church singing group.
He asked, "do you mean a choir?"
I said, "OK, fine, then how much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call Batman who skips church?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 24 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
