Denim, denim, denim...
My son surprised me with that one today.
Denim denim denim.
🎶DenimDenimDenim...DenimDenimDenim🎶
But all the cakes there were kaka.
Dungarees!
It was the Farmer in the Dell.
It was pointless.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
Basically my overall performance was compared with Apple’s and Orange’s.
Overall.
I'm glad I did. We went out. Had a few drinks. Overall good guy. He's a web designer.
I was wearing overalls and, in my sleep, had relieved myself...
It was an overall crappy experience.
A magician was driving, then he turned into a driveway
what kind of overalls do mario wear?
DENIM-DENIM-DENIM.
Me: oww this is a foldable table! It will be less of a hassle getting it to the camping and its on sale!!! Friend: so overall a afoldable table!
Overall it was good, but I made a fusilli mistakes
We were put onto maintenance detail whilst the line was down, so I’m given a set of overalls to wear. After I threw ‘em on I was asked “how are they for you mate?” I paused and saw my opportunity to prove my ‘dadness’ and replied “overall they’re pretty good!” Cue all the groans from the 15 lads! Yes, nailed it!!!
Starting on the 1st of December and running until the 10th, /r/dadjokes will be self-post only. This 10 day trial is being conducted to measure the overall effect on post quality. We hope to see a reduction in posts that exist purely for karma-gaming, and an increase in posts that represent our favourite dad jokes and stories.
This is not a ban on images. You may still link to pictures within your self-post - but you will no longer receive karma for doing so. Also as a suggestion try and be witty about it, don't just post pictures as the only content in the post. If there is a story behind it (involving your dad or anyones dad) then give that more of a preference and use the picture as a supporting arm for the joke, remember to be nice and the punnier the better.
As always, we're open to hearing your thoughts on the matter - and this thread will be stickied for the 10 days so that you can pop in and let us know how you feel the trial is going.
I don’t know how she got that job, but there’s just something I really dig about overalls and headlamps!
There's this crackhead in my neighborhood who is so skinny, everyone calls him "Ribs." Overall he's pretty harmless, but one day we were sitting in the front yard with our toddler in the playpen and he wanted to make the case that we should hire him to babysit. He picked up my son and started making his pitch. Most people would probably freak out as this point, but I just calmly looked at him and said politely, "I want my baby back, Ribs."
(He hands me an ornament of a small teddy bear in overalls) Me: where should I put this one? Him: how about right there? Me: yeah, that would be good Him: yeah that spot just looked a little bare Me: (looks at the little bear in my hand)(laughs uncontrollably for several minutes while daughter stares at us)
A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.
Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon."
A nearby mother was very impressed with the father's self control, and wanted to express her gratitude for such calm parenting. "Sir, I'm amazed that you are able to be so calm! It's not every day I see such patient and gracious parenting. Now little guy, what seems to be the problem, Donald?"
"Oh no, ma'am, you're mistaken!" The father interjected, "This is my son, Henry. I'm Donald!"
^(Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you for all you do.)
"Overall, they're just a big plus."
When my two friends called him out on the joke...
"I don't know, I'm kind of neutral on it."
My wife discovered a tick in our house - likely brought in by the dog after a hike with the family that day. At dinner, it prompted a discussion about the relative risk of Lyme disease and its recent increase in media coverage. My wife made the argument that, while incidents were up, the overall risk is really quite low when you look at actually numbers of incidents. As such, the media coverage is not warranted relative to other safety concerns. My rebuttal:
"Frankly, I think it's about time we had a tick talk"
My wife was making pancakes and she asked me to get out and warm up some maple syrup. As I started looking around for a receptacle and method to warm it up, she said:
W: Didn't we get a little pourer?
Me: Gosh no, I think our overall income has gone up, why?
Sad Trombone: Sad Trombones.
Was watching a travel show about a man walking the river Nile. The guys is talking about the vastness of the river so I turn to my mum and say "It's not that big that big this guy is just in denile". Mum groaned, brother laughed so overall happy with the result!
http://i.imgur.com/yDh3MSW.jpg
I feel the basic meme-ness of this contributed to the overall feeling of a dad joke
So I must start with stating that my friend is not a father (and does not want to ever be one). However that does not stop him from making dad type jokes. He is usually quick witted and this was the conversation that ensued.
Him - Telling my friend to fill in his tattoo space in comic sans writing. Overall just poking fun at how everyone hates that writing style.
Me - Stating "Well comic sans does have a point."
Him - replying "No comic sans doesn't have a point, it is round."
Edit - Thanks Diablo.
Me: You're an usher?
Friend: I'm one of the overall supervisors.
Me: We get overalls for this? What kind?
Denim denim denim.
Denim Denim Denim
Denim Denim Denim
Denimdenimdenim
Denim denim denim.
Denim-denim-denim
Denim Denim Denim
Denim Denim Denim
denim denim denim
Denim Denim Denim
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
I would tell you, but then I realized that you'd never get over it, it would just spread and overall it would just be the wurst
