My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,

I don't listen - and something else.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,

He said, β€œDon’t. There’s no future in it.”

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Choose a major you love

and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moiKeshav
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.

You should get a miner instead.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A big light switch is a major turn-on
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bismuth482
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
so anyway im switching my major to marketing...

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksonCM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think Marine Biology is the right major for me.

My grades are below C-level

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, β€œYou should go visit Italy in late August.”

..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Do math majors get degrees.....

...or radians? πŸ€”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smarzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Parents:Your brother wanna major in chemistry. Me: BrO
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soliivagant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture

...but I couldn't pass cowculus.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaMammatus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was thinking of changing my major to Physics

Then I can go ahead and be a physician.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXplainawesomeXx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I was playing chess and blundered a major piece

Rookie mistake

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatem96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
An e-con major.....
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommandoSharp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Major Spoiler
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/E_A_STONKS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope Elon Musk never gets caught up in a major scandal

I just imagine Elon-Gate would be really drawn out....

πŸ‘︎ 319
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OpthomacePrime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tries to Log a Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunytou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.

(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that, while alive, Mozart composed symphonies in almost every major key?

Sadly, in death, he was relegated only to D-composition.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hsdad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Major Spoiler
πŸ‘︎ 443
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough

Now he can hear the voices too !

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t calculus majors party?

Because they can not drink and derive

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?

He replied Dwayne Johnson

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebadger96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The culprit is a major D.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I read a report that said 100% of the world's major corporations had unmarried female as CEOs

It was a completely miss-leading report

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitchyPolice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't math majors party?

Because they can't drink and derive

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhichDesigner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Warning: major spoilers ahead!
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnny2_yespapa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I hope Elon Musk does not get involved in any major scandal.

Because Elon-gate will go on forever.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
🚨︎ report
They should have a follow-up to the G-7 meeting called the C Major Summit.

Maybe that will resolve things.

(Not OC but I saw it on FB and it was new to me)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_awesome365
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
After the G7 summit, they should follow it up with a C major summit

So things can get resolved

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar

We are the foremost experts in recycling!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you all hear recently that a major cheese factory exploded in France?

Da Brie was everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.

Police are still combing the area.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.

They called me Soccertes.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Betty Crocker and Major League Baseball have in common?

Great batters

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn't HIV a major cause of depression?

Because it's not that hard to stay positive.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.

I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tried to Log a Rhythm!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunytou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When Math majors graduate ...

Do they get degrees or radians?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giftif
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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