Every Zodiac sign has it’s own significant hairstyle
except Cancer
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”
My significant other asked why I never take them out
I said that the scope is broken on my high powered rifle
My town throws a festival for the salmon spawn each year. This is what they call companies that contribute a significant amount of money.
Which industry makes the most significant portion of its profits through a cash cow?
Big Farmer
There were many factors that led to the mutiny on the HMS bounty in 1789. The most significant grievance was that:
They ran out of paper towels.
What do pandas call their significant other?
Their Bam-boo.
Hey dads, get your significant other one of these for valentine's day!
I know my wife loves a boo-K.
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
The development of the pneumatic jackhammer was a significant feat
It was a ground-breaking invention
Just wanted to remind everyone of all the hard work the significant others of superheroes do. They deal with so much, have to be in their shadow, yet still stand by them...
They really are fucking heroes
Local punster attempts motivating significant other with puns
I took my significant other out on a date to the ice rink.
Entry was half price.
She called me a cheap skate.
What do you call a significant other you met online?
e-Bae
The words 'assign' and 'allocate' are very significant.
They both mean allot to me.
Why do significant people tend to be fat?
Because the more mass they have, the more they matter.
How does your former significant other have food delivered?
Fed-Ex
My significant other was not a fan,
Me: what did the Ocean say to the other Ocean?
Her: What?
Me: Nothing they just waved... Sea what I did there?
Her: groans* I hate you (jokingly)
Me: Why are you so salty about it? don't be such a beach.
EDIT: she actually laughed pretty hard after that.
A critically-acclaimed and culturally significant Chinese ballet/film about pressure cooking a small member of the family Myctophidae?
Braise the Red Lanternfish
One of the best ever Dad Jokes, from the thread on parents knowing if their kid's significant other was "the one" reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co…
