State fair had some serious puns going on
This is some serious pun-ception
Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.
Because it was a little coffee.
Wife (serious question): What is the difference between a date and a prune?
Me: one you get lucky and the other you don't.
She was mad enough to leave the room...
[Serious] I like to tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids.
My girlfriend said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture
I said we could table it for now.
If we wanted evangelical Christians to take the pandemic as a serious threat...
... we should have called it the Quran-o-virus.
They say opposites attract; so if your mum/mom serious, then your...
I'm in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend.
Haven't laughed in two years.
that's something serious ngl
I ran into the vets this morning and said to the blonde receptionist, "Quick, I think my daughters hamster is in serious trouble".
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
Guys, I have a serious problem...
I can’t stop saying yes to everything, I think I might have yeprosy
What did the authorities do when Barbie's boyfriend was involved in a serious car accident?
They contacted his next of Ken.
That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.
You wanna have beef with me? Because this is how you get beef with me! I’m dead serious mate!
It’s been so long since I last got to see ya! You and ya family gotta come over for a barbecue this weekend!
8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -
"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.
Looking forward to the Fall, when I can make serious money gathering leaves..
A very serious leak (Not OC)
I don't think the main character in the new Joker movie was very serious.
In fact, I think he may have been Joaquin.
When couple's say they've decided to have a baby, are they serious or
There is a really serious leek under my sink
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
I remember when I made a joke about a kid dying. My dad sat me down on the couch and told me in a serious voice "jokes about kids dying young...
Why are physicists so serious all the time?
They understand the gravity of the situation.
My therapist just told me that I have serious trouble verbalizing my emotions.
Her: You got a vasectomy without talking to me? Are you serious?
Him: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
A few weeks ago I was vacationing, but when I realized how serious the coronavirus was in this place
I'm here to make a serious complaint about my local subway. Generally they do a good job, but I today I did an online order (so I didnt SEE them make anything). I didnt unwrap it in the store to check (because who does that), but when I got home it was absolutely not what I ordered.
That's a serious relation-chipthey have.
There’s a serious leak under the sink
Why are foot injuries so serious?
... because they take so long to heel.
When this car hits 88 horses your gonna see some serious sht
I had some serious emotional distress while going to the bathroom the other day.
I just had a very serious conversation about hot dogs
It was a frank discussion
That's a serious gold rush
19 and 20 had a serious fight
Doctor: Did you know that you have a serious problem vocalizing your emotions?
Man: Can’t say that I’m surprised.
This is some serious meta shit
I'm gonna start a dating site for people with serious mommy and daddy issues.
I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.
My dad has a serious stutter and just went to prison
I don't think he'll ever finish his sentence
Wife: You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious??
Me: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
Wife: You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious??
Me: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
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