The real Pun-dit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tiki_taka_toko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
So you know Gandhi? Walked barefoot, tough feet. Fasted a lot, so he was weak. Prayed a lot, real spiritual. Unfortunately, suffered from bad breath.

In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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The insaniTEA is real
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/07huskypup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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A real knee slapper
πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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It carried over into real life, too!
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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You do realise that Vampires aren't real...

Unless you Count Dracula.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person

I always thought he was only a theoretical physicist...

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chill-turtle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Real conversation with my 4-yr-old

My wife and I had just finished watching the Chipmunks movie with our 4-year-old son. This conversation soon followed:

Son: Is Feeadore real? Wife: No, he's not real, sweetheart. Son: Are there real chickmunks? Wife: Yes, there are. Son: Have you ever seen chickmunks? Wife: I sure have. Me: They're usually called nuns, though.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlberttheDodge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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How can dogs tell a real bone from a fake one?

They just gnaw it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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The real benefit to cheesemaking isn’t the cheese itself

It’s the friends you make along the whey.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aphex-Puddle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Is this the real life?
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXundryzXx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I went out with a girl the other night, she wore this real slinky dress...

She looked great going down the stairs.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Bullets are real odd

They only do their job once they’re fired

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A real life dad joke.

My wife was dishing out food. She put some salad on a plate and handed it to my daughter.

Then my wife looked at me and said, "Cesar Salad?"

I immediately grabbed my daughter's plate and pulled it out of her hands. My daughter got confused (maybe wondering if she did something wrong?). My wife asks me, "What the hell are you doing???"

I responded, "Sorry. Could have sworn you just said seize her salad."

πŸ‘︎ 416
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Hollywood isn't real.

They're all just paid actors.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The irony is real.
πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPounds
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Swedish inventors have created cyborgs which are hard to distinguish from real humans.

Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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The best bakers use real butter so . . . .

there is no margarine for error.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Are zombies real?

Of corpse they are.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a real estate agent from the Seychelles specialized in beachfront properties do?

She sells Seychelles by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I made a pun-based business, mailing real life puns to UK residents reddit.com/gallery/kzek6g
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postpuns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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This is real lee getting out of hand
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h3y0002
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A real conversation I had last night

Her: β€œIs it difficult for you to talk about this stuff?” (My erectile dysfunction)

Me: β€œY’know, normally yeah it is, but with you it’s nothing hard at all...”

Edit: I made this joke completely by accident and then immediately started laughing like a maniac.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Choopzilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Real nun chucks.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmandaMarie77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Never bet on real estate.

The house always wins.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sundropboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I got my dog neutered, and he’s real mad at me but...

He didn’t have the balls to fight me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Broisback32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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You're a real foot

An absolute leg end

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chubbytapir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I just found out that Aaargghhh is not a real word.

I can’t tell you how angry I am at this.

πŸ‘︎ 304
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy’s Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...

Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I have no real opinion on frogs or toads.

I'm amphibalent.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback say when he saw his real estate properties go up in flames?

Mahomes!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spaneika
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NRGFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a real big fan of cars. I guess you could say I am..

A MotΓΆrhead.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BestWest45
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I just learned Albert Einstein was a real person.

All this time i thought he was a theoretical physicist.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebac
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person

I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNameIsNotDalton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WardensLantern
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person.

I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I just found out that Einstein was a real person...

I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.

This whole time I thought he was just a theoretical physicist...

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mclev91
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.

I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person...

...I had always thought he was just a theoretical physicist.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Just found out that 'Aaarrrgggghhh' isn't a real word.

I can't tell you how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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