He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”
Its so cheesy and full of hams.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?
Come on guys.
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
He even used to be a comic
Ernest Hemmingway
Christmas was literally last year.
Because it was a little coffee.
A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
Me: one you get lucky and the other you don't.
She was mad enough to leave the room...
I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
Now he is beaten at school and karate.
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
I'm a faux pa.
I said we could table it for now.
Like seriously, how low can you go ?
... we should have called it the Quran-o-virus.
Dad jokes!
Haven't laughed in two years.
The premise, the movie, Nemo, it was a little fishy.
It could chilly today, but then hot tamale.
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
I can’t stop saying yes to everything, I think I might have yeprosy
They contacted his next of Ken.
That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.
"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.
Because it's psyllium.
It’s been so long since I last got to see ya! You and ya family gotta come over for a barbecue this weekend!
He said, “Oh please...you really should give me a bit more credit.”
