This is some serious pun-ception
State fair had some serious puns going on
I ran into the vets this morning and said to the blonde receptionist, "Quick, I think my daughters hamster is in serious trouble".
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
that's something serious ngl
What did the authorities do when Barbie's boyfriend was involved in a serious car accident?
They contacted his next of Ken.
That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.
Looking forward to the Fall, when I can make serious money gathering leaves..
I don't think the main character in the new Joker movie was very serious.
In fact, I think he may have been Joaquin.
When couple's say they've decided to have a baby, are they serious or
A very serious leak (Not OC)
I remember when I made a joke about a kid dying. My dad sat me down on the couch and told me in a serious voice "jokes about kids dying young...
There is a really serious leek under my sink
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -
"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.
Why are physicists so serious all the time?
They understand the gravity of the situation.
A few weeks ago I was vacationing, but when I realized how serious the coronavirus was in this place
I'm here to make a serious complaint about my local subway. Generally they do a good job, but I today I did an online order (so I didnt SEE them make anything). I didnt unwrap it in the store to check (because who does that), but when I got home it was absolutely not what I ordered.
I had some serious emotional distress while going to the bathroom the other day.
When this car hits 88 horses your gonna see some serious sht
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
My therapist just told me that I have serious trouble verbalizing my emotions.
That's a serious relation-chipthey have.
I'm gonna start a dating site for people with serious mommy and daddy issues.
I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.
Wife: You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious??
Me: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
Why are foot injuries so serious?
... because they take so long to heel.
I just had a very serious conversation about hot dogs
It was a frank discussion
That's a serious gold rush
In my line of work you get to see some serious shit
I work at a sewage treatment plant
There’s a serious leak under the sink
"Please, let me just be serious for one second!"
"Sir, changing your name for one second is ridiculous."
My dad has a serious stutter and just went to prison
I don't think he'll ever finish his sentence
19 and 20 had a serious fight
This is some serious meta shit
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus
Looks like there is a serious leak under the sink....
A scottish man was found dead after a serious bar fight...
The police are still searching for the person who kilt him.
No sausage for me please ... I have a serious phobia!
Doctor: Did you know that you have a serious problem vocalizing your emotions?
Man: Can’t say that I’m surprised.
My chiropractor has a serious drug problem.
a man woke up after a serious accident and he said “I can’t feel my legs!!”
the doctor said “I know you can’t, i’ve cut off your arms!
Duck bites are serious business.
And just wait 'til they hit you with the bill!
I had a serious addiction to club sandwhiches, but i quit cold turkey. Now I only eat BLT's.
Serious question... Does a pun need to be a joke? Or does this count?
Holidays to Croatia can put a serious strain on your relationship...
...nearly all the couples I met there said they were going to Split!
I would pay serious Monet for this
Not sure if serious or trolling.
I was fired from a very serious farming job
They told me they dodnt have mush room for a fun-guy
What do you call a serious joke about the Sahara desert?
I have a serious problem. I just have to slap everyones ass, as soon as I see them
Last week, I was out walking when i met Dwayne Johnson. That's the time I realized I had hit rock bottom
We all have this very serious problem.
My daughter screeched, “Daaaaaaaad!! Can't you just be serious for once?! Why does everything have to be a game with you!?”
I replied, “An excellent question, my dear!! But next time, please use the buzzer!!”
A serious thank you to /r/dadjokes:
The last couple of weeks have been rough with rough patches going on with my relationship with my fiance and other stuff in general. I wasnt able to do much for New Years and had to spend it alone for the first time in several years.
Its sounds corny, but reading through all the "last year" jokes has brought joy to my life and brought genuine laughter when it's been hard for me to find it, especially recently. It's hard to smile, especially during rough patches of life, but you've brightened my evening in a way that I havent felt in a while.
I hope you all have a great 2019, and thank you again.
(You could say that I spent all year writing this :P)
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I have a serious matter to discuss."
And I said to him, "Which one? Solid, liquid, or gas?"
I told my dad that I was serious about buying nitrous oxide but he laughed at me
But look who's laughing now
One morning at work a few years ago, I wasn't paying attention to what Was going on around me and I suffered a serious industrial accident.
I worked right thru my coffee break !
My parents didnt take me serious when i came out
Because i couldnt keep a straight face
“Doc, I think I have a serious issue. A piece of lettuce is sticking out of my butt!”
Doc: I’m afraid that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
My Home Depot Manager got us together for serious store meeting. He asked who was breaking all the lumber in the wood aisle.
Me: (tightening my black belt) I don’t know but he must be pretty strong.
Seems like a serious dick to me
Let's get serious for a moment
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Serious question about the Universal Canadian health care...
Does it cover poutine check ups?
I once had a very serious relationship a midget.
I’ve got something serious to say
Most pastas are very serious...
In a serious food fight, a food fight to the death, what would be the most appropriate food weapon? (found dad in r/AskReddit)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/615gh8/in_a_serious_food_fight_a_food_fight_to_the_death/dfc7q3q/
Answer - Extra Sharp Cheddar
Grave diggers have one of the most serious jobs in the world. Every single time they do something wrong it’s a grave mistake.
Aztec human sacrifice wasn't as serious as historians make it out to be.
It was actually quite a lighthearted affair.
Why are mules so serious?
I've been battling a serious addiction to dressing like a nun for years. Today I'm happy to announce that I'm 28 days clean.
I've finally kicked the habit.
Kid: Surely You cant be serious
Dad: I am being serious and don't call me shirley
Today was valentine's day in Brazil, that is a serious love card
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
The way she started the conversation made me think that there was something way more serious going on
Canning pickles is a serious tradition in my family.
No really, it's a big dill.
This is serious, I am left with a joke that I can't figure out.
My friends grandfather would always ask him the same joke for 30 years till he passed.
Want to see me wiggle my ear? And then he would hold his hand up in a fist and wiggle his thumb. Then walk away laughing.
WHAT IS THE JOKE?!!?!
there is a serious lack of possible bear puns, can any of you think of more?
The problem with bears as a pun topic is that there are only 6 possible puns and most of them are stretches.
-
bear double meaning with tolerate
-
pandanother thing
-
grizzly double meaning with horrific
4)kodiak double meaning with camera
5)koalalifications
6)and Ursidae the family classification can be shortened to sound like ursa and be used instead of "or so" like in the phrase "or so i was told".
[Serious] Thank you /r/dadjokes community!
Throwaway since I could be identified if someone tried hard enough.
My father is currently partaking in a long and grueling pilgrimage of over 300 miles on the Notre Dame Trail. The organizers suggested family members write letters to encourage and motivate the pilgrims.
I have chosen to borrow some amazing content from /r/dadjokes to text to my father on a daily basis. He loves to make bad jokes and is often seen laughing at his own puns. He said he tells the jokes to the group every day when they've finished walking and they always get a chuckle from the crowd.
So sincerely, thank you and keep up the good work!
My mother has also joined him for the final 3 days so if anyone has some good, clean mom related dad jokes, feel free to share them with me!
a serious lack of Joe Pesci puns in here
Her: You got a vasectomy without talking to me? Are you serious?
Him: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
Wife: You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious??
Me: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know you can’t I’ve cut off your arms!”
A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she finds out about it, she is livid. "Are you serious?" She screams.
"Yes, I'm not kidding you."
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