Moo-slims
Unpresidented.
He wanted a little company.
There have only been a few "Is this sub still active? There haven't been any new posts all year" posts all year.
it's murder most fowl.
I don't listen - and something else.
...due to his extensive knowledge of tree angles.
My unwillingness to listen, and, eh, some other thing.
Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.
...impooched.
Kernel
Apparently, he was out standing in his field.
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
He said, “Don’t. There’s no future in it.”
You should get a miner instead.
just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud
Pay for the pizza 🍕.
My grades are below C-level
I don't know what they're teaching kids in schools these days. I asked my son what rhymed with orange, and he said nothing. Nothing? Those two words don't even sound alike!
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
Damn!
I just majorly fucked up.
I just imagine Elon-Gate would be really drawn out....
Then I can go ahead and be a physician.
Rookie mistake
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
They tries to Log a Rhythm.
Sadly, in death, he was relegated only to D-composition.
Because they can not drink and derive
but he was also a history miner.
Now he can hear the voices too !
...but I understand this promotion was a major ordeal.
They called me a “rad” student.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
The fairy of relativity.
I skipped classes to some degree.
His major was arkeology.
I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”
