What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Where did the stripper go to vote ?

She went to the Poles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Don’t waist your vote!
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.

When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLT5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I was wondering what's taking them so long to count all the votes in Nevada

But I realized it's because their work is Neva Dan

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.

Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I don’t see how introverts can vote for Bernie.

I would figure they want anti-socialism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kirigaya9191
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.

Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wB68
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Can I vote if I'm a pervert?

I don't want to come off as a tallywhacker?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Why would I vote for Joe?

He'll just be Biden his time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Why do Libras always vote for Democratic candidates?

They’re all Libra-rals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mercolorecords
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?

Voting has ended. It's a tie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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What's the only way a horse knows how to vote?

By saying "neigh"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agsederq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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In a vote for my favourite film of the Star Wars franchise ...

... β€˜Solo’ would win Hans down.

(I’m sure that’s been done before but it’s new to me. Sorry if that’s the case! Meanwhile I am trying to come up with a version about who shot first - Han or Greedo - but Solo had one Han up and the other under the table, so not both Hans and not really β€œdown” either. Shucks)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedBobRob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Why don't gorillas vote?

They're ape-political.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSluagh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Why are horses bad at group votes?

Because they always say neigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarStruck3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.

There aren't any good candied-dates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Democracy, it is your vote that counts
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prasaadii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it

Hindsight is 2020

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Will you vote?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeQ25
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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In light of the recently release video of the democrats vs republicans asking why they are holding off the vote

What did the democrat say to the republican at the dinner?

Will you pass the bill already?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moose_da_goose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Candidates for the president of the Evolution Society said that the anonymous votes were fudged...

But the committee assured them it was just natural selection!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?

Me: You can now that women got the vote.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rarmstro613
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Why do farmers vote for mathematicians?

Because they're protractor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Please remember to vote today

and remember to call a doctor if your election lasts more than 4 hours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedjprofessor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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"Vote for me, and we won't have BEEF. I hope to MEAT all of your expectations, but if we don't accomplish everything, don't have a COW."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fools_Requiem
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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I can’t vote today

I’m unable to maintain a full election.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikebellman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
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How do horses decide on who they'll vote for?

Gallop Polls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Remember: Under Democracy, it's Your Vote that Counts!

Under Feudalism, it's Your Count that Votes!

from my brother

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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How does a dad joke get up votes?

It’s either really funny, or it’s really not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Why is it stupid to vote for class president?

its only a minor election

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhanaSolo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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What is it called when the board of a company unanimously votes against?

A firm no.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waphex
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Cast your vote, bitches (dogs, sires, and dams too)!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvenBetterCool
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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I figured out why I never get votes in r/dadjokes

I don't have any kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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My son just lost a tight race in his primary election after I was physically withheld and denied the right to vote.

Sucks. He would have made a great second grade treasurer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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Half-naked women get thousands of up votes; how many for our boys in blue?

Someone had to do it: http://imgur.com/a/N0Zah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonbuccaneer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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I can't decide whether I should vote for Trump or not

I'm on the Pence about it still

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamiesn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
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Actually if Scotland votes for independence it won't be so bad

Because the rest of the UK will get away scot-free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jb2386
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2017
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On our way to vote today...

I was getting in my car (a Chevy) and my dad tells me to get in our Honda instead. Why? "It's our Civic duty."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jskoker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
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