What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Where did the stripper go to vote ?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Donβt waist your vote!
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︎ Nov 04 2020
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.
Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I was wondering what's taking them so long to count all the votes in Nevada
But I realized it's because their work is Neva Dan
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︎ Nov 05 2020
The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.
Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I donβt see how introverts can vote for Bernie.
I would figure they want anti-socialism.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.
Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Can I vote if I'm a pervert?
I don't want to come off as a tallywhacker?
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Why would I vote for Joe?
He'll just be Biden his time.
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︎ Oct 10 2020
Why do Libras always vote for Democratic candidates?
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?
Voting has ended. It's a tie.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
What's the only way a horse knows how to vote?
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︎ Oct 06 2020
In a vote for my favourite film of the Star Wars franchise ...
... βSoloβ would win Hans down.
(Iβm sure thatβs been done before but itβs new to me. Sorry if thatβs the case! Meanwhile I am trying to come up with a version about who shot first - Han or Greedo - but Solo had one Han up and the other under the table, so not both Hans and not really βdownβ either. Shucks)
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Why don't gorillas vote?
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Why are horses bad at group votes?
Because they always say neigh.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.
There aren't any good candied-dates.
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Democracy, it is your vote that counts
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︎ Apr 29 2020
If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it
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︎ Jun 30 2019
Will you vote?
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︎ Apr 27 2019
In light of the recently release video of the democrats vs republicans asking why they are holding off the vote
What did the democrat say to the republican at the dinner?
Will you pass the bill already?!
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Candidates for the president of the Evolution Society said that the anonymous votes were fudged...
But the committee assured them it was just natural selection!
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︎ Nov 25 2019
My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?
Me: You can now that women got the vote.
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Why do farmers vote for mathematicians?
Because they're protractor
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︎ Aug 18 2019
Please remember to vote today
and remember to call a doctor if your election lasts more than 4 hours.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
"Vote for me, and we won't have BEEF. I hope to MEAT all of your expectations, but if we don't accomplish everything, don't have a COW."
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︎ Oct 11 2018
I canβt vote today
Iβm unable to maintain a full election.
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︎ Aug 07 2018
How do horses decide on who they'll vote for?
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︎ Jun 22 2019
Remember: Under Democracy, it's Your Vote that Counts!
Under Feudalism, it's Your Count that Votes!
from my brother
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︎ Apr 08 2019
How does a dad joke get up votes?
Itβs either really funny, or itβs really not.
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︎ Jul 30 2019
Why is it stupid to vote for class president?
its only a minor election
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︎ Nov 06 2018
What is it called when the board of a company unanimously votes against?
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︎ May 09 2019
Cast your vote, bitches (dogs, sires, and dams too)!
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︎ Nov 05 2018
I figured out why I never get votes in r/dadjokes
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︎ Sep 08 2018
My son just lost a tight race in his primary election after I was physically withheld and denied the right to vote.
Sucks. He would have made a great second grade treasurer.
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︎ Jun 27 2018
Half-naked women get thousands of up votes; how many for our boys in blue?
Someone had to do it: http://imgur.com/a/N0Zah
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︎ Dec 07 2016
I can't decide whether I should vote for Trump or not
I'm on the Pence about it still
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︎ Oct 24 2016
Actually if Scotland votes for independence it won't be so bad
Because the rest of the UK will get away scot-free.
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︎ May 07 2017
On our way to vote today...
I was getting in my car (a Chevy) and my dad tells me to get in our Honda instead. Why? "It's our Civic duty."
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︎ Nov 08 2017
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