What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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Don’t waist your vote!
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/forgiving_constantly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.

When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BLT5000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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I was wondering what's taking them so long to count all the votes in Nevada

But I realized it's because their work is Neva Dan

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Idontbelieveinpotato
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.

Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
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I don’t see how introverts can vote for Bernie.

I would figure they want anti-socialism.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kirigaya9191
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.

Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wB68
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
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Can I vote if I'm a pervert?

I don't want to come off as a tallywhacker?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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Why would I vote for Joe?

He'll just be Biden his time.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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What's the only way a horse knows how to vote?

By saying "neigh"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/agsederq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
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Why do Libras always vote for Democratic candidates?

They’re all Libra-rals

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mercolorecords
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?

Voting has ended. It's a tie.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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In a vote for my favourite film of the Star Wars franchise ...

... β€˜Solo’ would win Hans down.

(I’m sure that’s been done before but it’s new to me. Sorry if that’s the case! Meanwhile I am trying to come up with a version about who shot first - Han or Greedo - but Solo had one Han up and the other under the table, so not both Hans and not really β€œdown” either. Shucks)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedBobRob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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Why don't gorillas vote?

They're ape-political.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrSluagh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
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Why are horses bad at group votes?

Because they always say neigh.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StarStruck3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.

There aren't any good candied-dates.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2020
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Democracy, it is your vote that counts
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prasaadii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it

Hindsight is 2020

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
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Will you vote?
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeQ25
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2019
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In light of the recently release video of the democrats vs republicans asking why they are holding off the vote

What did the democrat say to the republican at the dinner?

Will you pass the bill already?!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moose_da_goose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2019
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Candidates for the president of the Evolution Society said that the anonymous votes were fudged...

But the committee assured them it was just natural selection!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/space0watch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2019
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My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?

Me: You can now that women got the vote.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rarmstro613
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2019
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Why do farmers vote for mathematicians?

Because they're protractor

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2019
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Please remember to vote today

and remember to call a doctor if your election lasts more than 4 hours.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thedjprofessor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2018
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"Vote for me, and we won't have BEEF. I hope to MEAT all of your expectations, but if we don't accomplish everything, don't have a COW."
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fools_Requiem
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2018
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How do horses decide on who they'll vote for?

Gallop Polls

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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I can’t vote today

I’m unable to maintain a full election.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mikebellman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2018
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Remember: Under Democracy, it's Your Vote that Counts!

Under Feudalism, it's Your Count that Votes!

from my brother

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xwhy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2019
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Why is it stupid to vote for class president?

its only a minor election

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GhanaSolo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2018
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What is it called when the board of a company unanimously votes against?

A firm no.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Waphex
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2019
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Cast your vote, bitches (dogs, sires, and dams too)!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EvenBetterCool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2018
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I figured out why I never get votes in r/dadjokes

I don't have any kids.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2018
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My son just lost a tight race in his primary election after I was physically withheld and denied the right to vote.

Sucks. He would have made a great second grade treasurer.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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Half-naked women get thousands of up votes; how many for our boys in blue?

Someone had to do it: http://imgur.com/a/N0Zah

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crimsonbuccaneer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2016
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Mike Pence couldn’t make it to the Senate vote today because he had food poisoning from raw fish.

Presiding in his absence was the President Pro Temp-ura.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dingleingus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2018
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Actually if Scotland votes for independence it won't be so bad

Because the rest of the UK will get away scot-free.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jb2386
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2017
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I can't decide whether I should vote for Trump or not

I'm on the Pence about it still

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jamiesn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2016
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On our way to vote today...

I was getting in my car (a Chevy) and my dad tells me to get in our Honda instead. Why? "It's our Civic duty."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jskoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2017
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What do you call someone who posts lies frequently for free up-votes?

A Karma Chameleon!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yolkley
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2017
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