If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations....
.....and you pick the one that will get you home earlier.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..
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︎ Jul 04 2020
College offers some questionable class choices, but o you know which one is the most sketchy?
Art class: Pencil Drawing 101
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︎ Aug 09 2020
If you had your choice of having lunch with anyone ever, dead or alive who would you pick?
I would pick someone alive.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Very poor choice of words!
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︎ Mar 04 2020
The choice is clear!
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︎ Feb 15 2020
What is a transitioning male's drink of choice?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?" Son: "What are my choices?"
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︎ Apr 01 2020
He knew he'd be pun-ished for his choice. http://explosm.net/comics/3853/
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︎ Aug 25 2019
When buying an exotic flower for your lover there are two choices. Use contraceptionβ¦
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︎ May 10 2020
I had no choice in my birth.
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︎ Mar 05 2020
The family wasn't thrilled with my cheese choices.
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︎ Dec 21 2019
I decided to leave my strict, religious Pennsylvanian community to raise ducks. When I told my father, he said "Son, you have a choice"
You can either be a Quaker, or a Quacker.
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︎ Apr 15 2020
Your choice.
https://preview.redd.it/stxqmp0ekx041.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=eef8f9c19b964d08d979a65a1c1d15a40f45efc3
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︎ Nov 26 2019
What Donald Ducks drug of choice?
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︎ Feb 25 2019
Where do people go to find their feline of choice
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︎ Feb 07 2020
What's Your Open Source OS Of Choice?
Q: What's Your Open Source OS Of Choice?
A: Darwin.
Q: Why?
A: It's the evolution of Unix.
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︎ Dec 06 2019
My friend asked me why I read so much Tolkien. I said it wasn't really a choice, rather...
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︎ Jun 24 2019
When given the choice between two ways to get to the roof, I always choose the ladder.
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︎ Apr 25 2018
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead.
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Being a vegan is a poor choice.
In fact it's a long series of missed steaks!
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︎ Jul 12 2018
I really have a thing for dumb girls. Just met one who can't fill out multiple choices surveys
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︎ Sep 20 2019
Why did Hitler like multiple choice exams?
The answer was often not C.
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︎ Jul 12 2019
The hardest choices require the strongest Wills
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︎ Jan 03 2019
When do strippers make bad life choices?
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...
...he was forced to take out a restraining order.
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︎ Jun 14 2019
Some people are pro-life, others are pro-choice. As an English teacher however....
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︎ Apr 16 2019
What's the breakfast of choice for readers of /r/dadjokes?
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︎ Jan 11 2019
When you have to choose between between going out with your ex again or have a growth on your forehead, what is that choice called?
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︎ Feb 16 2019
Whatβs Edward Snowdenβs choice of vegetable?
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︎ Apr 07 2019
I was going to buy some t-bones that were really expensive but I went with the safe choice.
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︎ Mar 07 2019
Why is vegan restaurants a bad choice for dates?
You just can't meat there.
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︎ May 27 2018
I didn't want to become company president but the board left me no choice...
I was backed into a corner office.
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︎ Feb 19 2019
If given a choice of eating a sandwich in the park or watching the Nickelodeon Network all day, what would you do?
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︎ May 05 2020
What is a ducks drug of choice?
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︎ May 30 2019
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